Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 4 - Chapter 93

Chapter 93
Chapter 93 [Mutual Proposals]

&123;Puck: Once the contract between me and Lia is terminated, can I trust you to take care of everything that comes after?&125;
&123;Subaru: ……That’ll depend on what your reasons are&125;
Licking his lips, Subaru held back his urge to challenge those words as he looked at Puck straight on .
Inside the crystal, Puck’s expression remained indiscernible . But, from the vortex of emotions in his voice, Subaru could tell that he did not say this lightly .
But they’re talking about contracts here .
What’s more, it’s a contract between a Spirit and a Spirits-Arts User, which are to be valued above all else .
To speak of one-sidedly “Breaking” such a contract―― Subaru couldn’t possibly fathom what he might be thinking .
&123;Subaru: The contract between you and Emilia…… is a contract between a Spirit and its Contractor, right? Breaking it would come with its corresponding penalty, wouldn’t it?&125;
&123;Puck: Yes, naturally&125;
&123;Subaru: If I’m imagining this correctly, the Contractor abides by the contract in exchange for the power they borrow from the Spirit… and without a contract, there would be no pretext for the Spirit to lend its power to the Contractor…… so breaking your contract would…&125;
&123;Puck: Essentially, the link between Lia and myself would be severed&125;
Without denying or amending Subaru’s speculations, Puck merely affirmed his thoughts .
Yet, that affirmation would mean――
&123;Subaru: Without being able to draw from your power…… Emilia won’t be able to fight at all . Left alone, she’ll just be no different than an ordinary girl&125;
&123;Puck: That shouldn’t worry you too much, should it? Whether Lia has the strength for it or not, you are the one who doesn’t want her to fight . Though I can’t say the same for what Lia herself will think&125;
&123;Subaru: Gh…… you’re… not wrong about that . But my feelings aren’t the problem here . And all this talk about fighting strength isn’t the point either . What’s important right now…… is what’ll happen to Emilia without you by her side&125;
For Emilia, losing Puck would be the same as losing the supporting beam of her heart .
And if Puck had been right so far, it would mean that she knew, deep down, that Puck wasn’t actually sleeping, and that the bond between them hadn’t been severed .
Yet, even with their bond still barely intact, Emilia was cornered and faltering to the point that she was relying entirely on Subaru, pleading for him not to leave her .
But if her bond with Puck was truly severed――
&123;Subaru: I wouldn’t be surprised if it broke Emilia’s mental stability on the spot… That has to be one of the last things you want to see . So just what’re you plotting…&125;
&123;Puck: I’m not plotting anything . I would only be supporting Lia in a way that would be best for her . I will not, and cannot, do anything that child doesn’t want me to&125;
&123;Subaru: And… Emilia wants you to terminate the contract?&125;
&123;Puck: No, Subaru . Losing her contract with me is only the byproduct of what Lia desires . What Lia presently desires is to pass the Trials of the Tomb . You can rest assured, there is no doubt about that&125;
Subaru never doubted it, either .
According to Puck’s hypothesis―― it was because of Emilia’s inability to face her past that she was repeatedly stumbling on the fabricated past in her Trials .
However, she definitely isn’t the kind of person who would merely “Pretend” to overcome her past . Of that, Subaru was certain .
That conviction within Subaru’s mind was never conveyed to Puck through words . But, as if that thought had successfully reached him regardless, the tone of Puck’s telepathic voice sank,
&123;Puck: When Lia finds out that I am gone, she will probably fall apart . Crying like a child, wailing, inconsolable and afraid&125;
&123;Subaru: ――――&125;
&123;Puck: But that’s for the best, I think . This state where the surface of her heart believes I am gone while the depths of her heart knows that I am still here is unnatural . Once both the surface and the depths of her heart realize that I am gone…… the shackles keeping her from her past will be undone, and, for the first time, Lia will be ready to face her own heart&125;
Puck’s words were quiet, but packed with a multitude of emotions .
There was tenderness, grief, joy, and, above all, the abounding willingness to sacrifice everything for the one he loved most .
&123;Subaru: So she must lose her bond with you…… in order to face herself and move forward?&125;
&123;Puck: Yes, I believe so . I’m sure it will cause her much pain, but I know Lia is a girl who can persevere through them&125;
&123;Subaru: But you won’t be there for her anymore . Aren’t you worried? Don’t you want to stay with her and protect that too-kind-for-her-own-good daughter of yours? Isn’t that what you want?&125;
Subaru wasn’t sure what he was saying anymore .
If Puck’s proposal could really deliver the results they desired, then it would be better than anything Subaru could have hoped for . Just as Puck pointed out, Emilia’s ability to fight is irrelevant since Subaru already intends to do everything in his power to keep her as far away from the battlefield as possible .
So Subaru should, by all means, be welcoming Puck’s proposal rather than trying to dissuade him .
&123;Puck: And here I thought you’d been pretty unhappy lately about me being at Lia’s side?&125;
&123;Subaru: You aren’t wrong about that…… For all that’s happened between us, my opinion of you is as low as it can get right now, and it’s not gonna turn up any time soon . One decision to sacrifice yourself for Emilia isn’t gonna wipe away all the bad impressions you’ve left behind, you know&125;
&123;Puck: That’s quite a harsh thing to say… makes me kind of sad&125;
&123;Subaru: But&125;
Their mutual impressions were already kind of set, so even if Subaru accepted everything Puck said, it still couldn’t change those negative impressions so easily .
So Subaru wasn’t lying when he said that . However,
&123;Subaru: I can just see the sad look on Emilia’s face after you’re gone . And, as much as I hate it, I know better than anyone just how much you mean to Emilia . It’s because you’re… that I……&125;
&123;Puck: ――――&125;
His words continued no further, but the indeterminate thought would not leave him . Puck too preserved the mental silence, quietly waiting for Subaru’s vague concepts to take shape .
But, the more agitated he got, the less certain his answer became .
&123;Subaru: That I… I’m……&125;
&123;Puck: Your existence played a huge part in helping me come to this decision, Subaru&125;
Puck muttered before Subaru could finish his thought . Hearing that sound directly inside his skull, Subaru raised his head, staring stupidly at the glowing green crystal .
&123;Puck: Like you said, Lia means more to me than anything in this world . I would’ve wanted to always watch over her and provide her with strength at her side . But, even so, I still believe that the best thing I could do for her now is to leave her&125;
&123;Subaru: But, why is th…… . &125;
&123;Puck: Because you are here for her&125;
&123;Subaru: ――――&125;
Suddenly, Subaru felt his breath stop .
&123;Puck: In this place…… no, in this world, you and I are the only ones who would risk our lives for Lia . Through the time we’ve spent together, you have proved this . Lia, she…… other than myself, you are the person she trusts the most . That is beyond doubt . You can be sure of it&125;
&123;Subaru: S-still…… I don’t have the kind of powers that you do, and I can’t blast away the obstacles in front of her with force . The best I can do is worry alongside her and listen to her talk about her troubles…… . that’s all . Knowing that, you really want to leave me with everything after you’re gone?&125;
&123;Puck: You seem to be misunderstanding something . I’m not saying that I want you to replace me . The things that only I can do are things that only I can do . The reverse is also true, and I expect that you will be helping Lia by doing the things that only you can do&125;
In front of the speechless Subaru, Puck piled on his words .
Closing off all escape, Puck wasted no time in forcing the decision on Subaru .
&123;Puck: Even without me, Lia will still be much stronger than you . No doubt, that would be the kind of “Strength” you spoke of . But, as you know, that child is also weak . And this “Weakness” I speak of also certainly exists . What I want you to do is to support her for that weakness&125;
&123;Subaru: …… . After you break the contract and sever your bond with Emilia, what will happen to you?&125;
&123;Puck: The fact that I was able to materialize as I had been was owing to my connection with Lia . Once that connection is cut, I will need to stay constantly materialized in order to preserve my existence . ……But to remain materialized, I would endlessly drink the atmospheric mana around me dry . If you saw my true form, it would probably shock you, Subaru&125;
The “True Form” Puck spoke of must be the towering figure that Subaru had to tilt back his head to see . The apex of four-legged beasts, that monster of raging blizzards . The Beast of the Apocalypse .
Indeed, if he had to maintain that form indefinitely, there was simply no way it could be sustainable .
&123;Subaru: So then…… you mean you’ll be erased?&125;
&123;Puck: It is a little different from being erased . I will return to the small existence I once was before my contract with Lia . It’d be someplace with a deep connection to me…… most likely in the Great Elior Forest . There, I will go to sleep inside something as my anchor, and wait for the time when I will be awoken again&125;
&123;Subaru: Awoken……?&125;
&123;Puck: By Lia, of course . ――This is where the contract between me and that child ends . But, if a time comes when she needs a new contract and is in search of a spirit to forge it with…… I know she’ll choose me again . That’s what I believe&125;
Hearing a sense of cheerfulness in Puck’s voice, Subaru swallowed his breath .
It was a decision which could lead to his own disappearance, but there was not a single trace of unease in Puck’s tone . His personality had always been naturally optimistic, but, somehow, that didn’t seem to be the reason for the lack of concern in his voice .
He hadn’t the slightest doubt that Emilia will choose him again .
Once her contract with Puck is broken, Emilia will be forced to face her past . And he did not imagine for a second that Emilia might fail to fully accept that past .
Only, after Emilia has overcome her past and is in need of another contract, she will surely choose him again .
In Puck’s mind, that was absolute certainty .
He never doubted Emilia’s strength, nor did he doubt everything they’d shared in the time they spent together . And because of this, he was able to make the choice to sever his connection with her .
&123;Subaru: ――――&125;
For an always-wavering Subaru, it was a bond so strong and firm that it was dazzling .
Because it was Puck’s deep love and trust in Emilia that has forged his heart of iron .
&123;Subaru: And you’ll leave the task of comforting the heartbroken Emilia to me?&125;
And that was why Subaru’s reply was so laced with desperation and resentment . Receiving those words, Puck softly cleared his throat, and, with a tone that was almost smiling,
&123;Puck: It pains my heart to do this, truly . But… . . since I’m entrusting my beloved daughter to you, it’s my hope that you two can overcome it together&125;
&123;Subaru: ……can I take that as your implicit consent for me and Emilia-tan to be together?&125;
&123;Puck: If I annihilate you here and now, I’ll have to rethink all sorts of things again&125;
&123;Subaru: Why do your comebacks always have to be that scary, you goddamn cat!!&125;
Blasting back at that overly-extreme reply, Subaru let slip the faintest glimpse of a smirk .
Puck’s deep feelings for Emilia were unfaultable, and the fact that they could have this back and forth in spite of the misgivings between them relaxed Subaru’s mind, if only just a little .
And then, there was also something that Subaru thought of just now when he heard that the severing of Puck’s contract with Emilia would mean distancing him from this place . Supposing it could work―― it would certainly tilt the odds of the bet in his favor .
&123;Subaru: I understand your plan now . Though I’m still a bit worried about whether it’ll really go as planned…… I’ll put on some feigned ignorance and help you along with your ruse&125;
&123;Puck: I wonder what it feels like… to manipulate the girl you love&125;
&123;Subaru: I’m getting crushed by guilt here, so stop that . And besides, Emilia actually understands all sorts of things deep down…… so when this is all over and done, she’ll probably realize she’s been tricked&125;
&123;Puck: If that happens, you and I will both be hated as fellow conspirators . You scared?&125;
&123;Subaru: Like hell! Compared to the “Don’t wash mine with daddy’s dirty laundry!” kind of angsty-teenage-girl hate, her hate towards me’ll be on a totally different level, you know&125;
If her resentment towards Puck could count as a familial issue, her resentment towards Subaru would be far more fatal . Although, she’d probably understand if Subaru explained it to her with complete sincerity .
Yet, even if Emilia could understand the true motivations behind it, she still wouldn’t be happy that her heart had been manipulated . ――Surely, he would not be forgiven for that .
&123;Subaru: But it’s a bit late for that, huh . ――After all the unforgivable things I’ve done and all the times I’ve made her cry… how can I say I don’t have the resolve to bear that guilt now?&125;
&123;Puck: ――――&125;
&123;Subaru: I’ll accept your terms, Puck . I’ll be cleaning up your mess for you . Tomorrow morning, when Emilia breaks down crying…… she’ll be doing it in my arms&125;
&123;Puck: ――Good . In that case, I’ll leave it to you . Though I realize this will be causing you a great deal of trouble down the road&125;
Seeing Subaru accept his proposal, there was almost a sense of shame in Puck’s reply .
At this, Subaru closed his eyes, and with &123;Now then…&125;, he began again,
&123;Subaru: Are you open to considering a proposal from me as well?&125;
&123;Puck: ……A proposal?&125;
&123;Subaru: Yeah, a proposal . Don’t worry though . Just like you, I only act with Emilia’s best future interests in mind&125;
Thumping his own chest, and taking Puck’s silence as his assent, Subaru continued,
&123;Subaru: There’re still some things I wanna ask, and some things I wanna try depending on the answers . ――Emilia could wake up at any moment, so let’s keep this short&125;