Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 4 - Chapter 89.3

Chapter 89.3
[???: ――Emilia? Emilia? Oy, are you alright!?]
[Emilia: Aa, e…… uh… suba… ru……?]
Woken by someone shaking her shoulders calling to her, Emilia opened her eyes and muttered Subaru’s name . She shook her head to recover her hazy consciousness, but,
[Emilia: Subaru, why… are you here……?]
[Subaru: Do I need a reason to be? If it’s Emilia-tan’s face, I can keep staring for a whole day without getting bored]
[Emilia: Not that, I mean…… um]
Perhaps because her consciousness hadn’t fully cleared, Emilia’s response was still somewhat unsettled .
To wipe away her anxiety, Subaru patted his knees as he stood up with a smile,
[Subaru: Can’t have you letting down your guard around me . I’m really happy you trust me, but I’m still a guy with a ravenous wolf hiding under this cloak of rationality . I’d like you to be a little more mindful of the kind of person I am, Emilia-tan]
[Emilia: ……? I didn’t forget about you, Subaru . I said something strange while I was waking up, that’s all…… but, dozing off without even realizing it……]
Although it didn’t sound like she understood what Subaru was telling her, Emilia’s voice as she replied indicated that she was more or less properly awake . Having confirmed this, Subaru gave the troubled-looking Emilia a nod,
[Subaru: I get that the exhaustion’s piling up, but if you’re gonna sleep it’s better to sleep on the bed . If you keep sleeping on the floor like this it’s gonna give me a heart attack every time I come in here]
[Emilia: ……ah, I’m sorry . I made you worry, didn’t I?]
[Subaru: And I just renewed my resolve too, but seeing this and thinking some new EVENT activated and everything’s ruined had me seriously in a panic, you know . You can even say that seeing your sleeping face today was even more emotional than usual…]
In fact, the shock that struck Subaru when he walked into the room and saw Emilia was beyond description .
Getting no response when he knocked and thinking maybe she had gone out, he entered the room to find Emilia lying there in front of the bed with her silver hair sprawled across the floor .
Surely, no one could blame Subaru for falling into instant despair at that bloodcurdling sight .
That said, the warmth of her body when he held her up and the unmistakable rhythm of her breathing and pulse quickly dispelled those worries .
However,
[Subaru: If that was all of it, I would rather have let you keep sleeping, but…… you looked like you were having a really bad nightmare . Was it wrong of me to have woken you up?]
Asleep in his arms, Emilia’s brows were covered in sweat while her face and body twisted in agony . Subaru had had personal experience of this himself, and he knew that there is no way to escape from a truly terrifying nightmare . The only way to be swiftly released from the pain was to be called from outside the dream .
To Subaru, who did exactly this, [No], Emilia shook her head,
[Emilia: I’m reeaally glad you woke me . I was having a pretty…… no, a really terrible dream…… so, thank you]
[Subaru: A terrible dream, haunting Emilia-tan… I kinda wanna ask what it’s about, but…… I can tell it’s not something that’ll be pleasant to talk about]
[Emilia: ――――]
Seeing the wry smile following her silence, Subaru pondered over the cause of Emilia’s nightmare .
Most likely, it was the result of the negative circumstances piling around her . He wasn’t sure what specific images she saw, but,
[Subaru: ……Alright, I won’t force you to tell me]
Seeing Emilia look away as if trying to avoid the topic, Subaru figured it was probably the vivid kind of nightmare .
If it were vague, it’d be easy to talk about . But the fact that she couldn’t showed that it must’ve been something lifelike and real .
This interaction with Emilia was getting off to a bad start, and it wouldn’t make it any easier to carry on the conversation to come .
With a troubled expression, Subaru scratched the tip of his nose, deliberating over how to broach the topic, when Emilia looked up .
[Emilia: So…… what is it, Subaru? You couldn’t possibly have come here just to look at my face for no reason, right?]
[Subaru: “Couldn’t possibly”… I don’t think it’s that implausible of a thing for me to do?]
[Emilia: No, you wouldn’t . I mean, you’re always busy running around trying your hardest . You can’t use up your time like that just on me]
[Subaru: Emilia-tan, just how diligent a guy do you think I am? You do know that I’m such a slacker that I’d wholeheartedly support the establishment of a “Slacking Appreciation Day”, right?]
No exaggeration and no joke, Subaru was well aware of his nature as a hopeless layabout . When you see a person with no role or purpose in an endless descent into depravity, you’d call that person Natsuki Subaru .
And that was why he never slacked on his daily workouts and pointless skills/hobbies training back in the old world . Because he knew he’d become an utterly hopeless human being the moment he did .
――You don’t really call someone who puts in persistent effort, even without any goal, a slacker . But Subaru didn’t seem to realize that rather obvious fact .
Perhaps wanting to say something about Subaru’s overly critical appraisal of himself, Emilia’s gaze warmed as she heard his reply . Seeing this, Subaru furrowed his brows, but Emilia didn’t remark on it in the end,
[Emilia: It’s fine . Anyway, tell me why you’re here already . Hu~rry~up~]
[Subaru: What’s with the cuteness all of a sudden……! Uhh, but, right . I was thinking maybe we could go outside for a walk to lighten up the mood a bit……]
[Emilia: ――――]
[Subaru: Though, that wouldn’t really lighten it up, would it…]
Seeing Emilia fall silent, Subaru realized he misspoke and scratched his head .
It was obvious from the fact that Emilia’s residence was placed apart from the village center that she wasn’t well received in the Sanctuary .
Being fellow outcasts of their respective races, there really should be a sense of fellowship between them, but it would seem that Half-Elves was a special case .
For the refugees from Arlam, too, their safe escape from the Witch Cult did not directly improve their opinions of Emilia .
Emilia’s treatment in the Sanctuary was no different from her treatment in the Capital: like that of a tumor .
She acted strong when she was with Subaru, but that didn’t mean it was easy for her . And just how did she deal with all those gazes when she was alone?
Being that the situation still hadn’t improved, bringing Emilia outside would only place an unnecessary burden on her .
[Subaru: It’s because of stuff like this that I……]
Aggravated at his own thoughtlessness, Subaru punched himself in the forehead .
Feeling the pain flood over from his knuckles to his skull, Subaru turned to face Emilia, who had widened her eyes at his inexplicable act,
[Subaru: Emilia]
[Emilia: ――Mm]
Seeing the change in Subaru’s expression, Emilia sensed that the atmosphere had shifted . She corrected her posture, and, with a calm emotion in her amethyst eyes, she looked back at Subaru .
Her expression told Subaru that it’d be pointless to broach the topic in a roundabout manner . But just how should he say it? He puzzled over his opening line for only an instant, and,
[Subaru: Do you… feel like talking with me about what you saw in the Trial?]
――Subaru could plainly see the horror and anguish washing over her tearing, amethyst eyes .