Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 4 - Chapter 26.2

Chapter 26.2
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While Subaru was trying to search for some excuse, Roswaal held him back with three drawn-out calls . Having been cut off this way, Subaru shot him a sharp and perilous glare . But Roswaal only waved his hand, pretending not to notice it,
[Roswaal: The fact of what actually happened, is no~~t the issue here . The real issue is the fact that Emilia-sama is firmly convinced of the idea, “I am the one who froze the forest”]
[Subaru: ――――]
[Roswaal: To Emilia-sama, this is the truth of what happened . Consequently, the Trial which Emilia-sama must face is also based upon this version of the truth . ――In tha~~~t case, just what do you think we should do?]
[Subaru: You…… . what are you even thinking?]
Asking this question as if they were playing some lighthearted game, it’s impossible to fathom what was through Roswaal’s mind . As if he couldn’t take it anymore, Subaru wrenched out these words .
Just how… how could this man keep smiling in a situation like this?
[Subaru: I don’t expect you to sympathize with Emilia’s past, or feel for her or anything of the sort, but…… if you know full well the weight of that burden, and know what pain must be going through her heart, then what the hell are you doing having so much fun while she is sent in to challenge the impossible Trials?]
[Roswaal: Fu~~~mu]
[Subaru: What is wrong with you!? You…… don’t you want Emilia to be King? You are the one who is going to make her King, aren’t you? I know what you are trying to do . You think letting Emilia liberate the Sanctuary will win her the support of both Arlam village and the Sanctuary…… that I understand……]
But,
[Subaru: On the other hand, when it comes down to the critical moment you’re just leaving Emilia to her own devices . If she cannot liberate the Sanctuary, then the whole game falls apart…… how can you sit just around as if there’s nothing to worry about when the situation has come to this deadlock!]
[Roswaal: …………]
[Subaru: I’ve said it before . I won’t rest until I’ve made Emilia King . And I intend to make that true…… As for you, do you really intend to make her King?]
[Roswaal: ――Without a doubt]
Roaring, his shoulders trembling, Subaru asked Roswaal this heartfelt question . But, at the end of his last question, Roswaal’s answer came down like a bucket of cold water on his seething face .
In front of his eyes, Roswaal didn’t move an inch―― with steady eyes, his gaze was fixed dead upon Subaru . Then, he,
[Roswaal: Do I intend to make her the King? Certainly, I do . ――Other than myself, there is no one else who would wish more for her to be King . Not even Emilia-sama herself, or a man like you, can match my desire for this, or the reason for my conviction]
[Subaru: Ros……waal?]
[Roswaal: That you would hound me like this, and doubt my motivations, is truly laughable . Absolutely, laughable . ――Are we still not there yet, after all?]
There was rage in his quiet words, and it was the first time Subaru ever sensed this from Roswaal .
But, halfway through, the heat vanished from his impassioned words, until, at last, it fell to a whisper and scattered like mist . In the end, with a final profound musing, he brought his speech to a close, and,
[Roswaal: Subaru-kun . Unfo~~tunately, this will be all for tonight . I a~~m still recovering from my wo~unds . At least, I hope you’d grant me a little re~st]
[Subaru: We’re…… no, nevermind]
Subaru reached out his hand, trying to hold Roswaal back from one-sidedly ending the conversation, but he realized it would be futile, and drew it back again .
Ending their talk in a lighthearted tone, Roswaal plainly refused any further discussion . Since he had already been rejected this way, even though the person was still lying in the bed right in in front of him, it was already too late to ask anything more .
Shaking his head, holding back his disappointment, Subaru turned his back to the bed .
He had already said what he came here to say . Whether or not the situation of the villagers of Arlam would change for the better is still unknown, but Lewes will probably not refuse Roswaal’s request .
If that much can be done, then the stagnating circumstances will at least move forward . Even though, for Subaru, there were still many more hurdles to come .
[Roswaal: ――Subaru-kun]
Just as he was about to leave the room, Roswaal’s call stopped him . Halting his legs, and looking back, he saw that Roswaal had already laid his head down on the pillow, and was not looking at him .
[Roswaal: The Qualification… you’ve received it?]
[Subaru: Ah . Yeah, haven’t I mentioned it yet? Yeah . I took the Trial too . Actually, if going inside is like getting baptized with that stuff, then maybe you could……]
[Roswaal: ――No~ no, that will not be possible . I’m afraid the Tomb will not accept me . The fact that I carry these scars of rejection should make that clear enough]
Having glossed over the part about the Qualification, and recalling their conversation from the previous world, Subaru raised his brows in astonishment . In the previous world, when he told Roswaal that he had challenged the Trials, he could remember Roswaal’s expression turning terribly dark .
But this time, there was only a tinge of loneliness that didn’t seem noteworthy at all .
[Roswaal: ……Choose what is best, Subaru-kun]
[Subaru: What?]
[Roswaal: In this place, you are the one person who could move most freely . You are completely unbound by the Sanctuary . Nor are you constrained by any obligation to the Royal Selection]
[Subaru: ――――]
[Roswaal: Go on being guided by your desires, go on struggling, until you hold everything within your hands . To agonize, and to be lost, and only then can you obtain it…… Even if it would not satisfy you, even if you could not understand it, see it through to the end]
Roswaal said this without showing his face . Without the usual clownish intonations, Subaru was stunned by these uncharacteristically cynical remarks, and could only stand there stupidly on the spot .
Until, after a little while had passed, he suddenly realized that Roswaal had been saying those words to himself .
[Subaru: Hey…… that’s, not like you at all . What’s wrong, Ros-chi?]
[Roswaal: Sometimes I want to try something different, tha~~t’s all . ――I suppose, it seems I didn’t ma~ke it]
There was no way he could understand that open-ended sentence . But, just as he was about to ask, Roswaal waved his hand on the bed, urging Subaru to leave .
Seeing this, standing in front of Roswaal, who had turned away from him, Subaru let out a long, drawn out sigh through his nostrils,
[Subaru: Good night]
And, leaving this behind, he stepped out of the room .