Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 4 - Chapter 69.2

Chapter 69.2
Subaru comforted the crying Emilia until she fell asleep, and brought her out of the Tomb .
As usual, while everyone was shocked to see Emilia in her state and to learn that she had failed the Trial, Subaru carried her to Lewes’ house to put her to bed .
Along the way, Garfiel’s feigned cheerfulness out of consideration for the atmosphere was almost painful to watch, and Subaru could notice Lewes casting him a meaningful gaze, though he didn’t mention anything .
He overlooked the former on purpose because there was still something he had to confirm .
As for the latter, it was because Subaru already somewhat understood the meaning behind her gaze .
[Garfiel: Oy, borrow y’for a minute]
After entrusting the sleeping Emilia to Ram, Garfiel called out to Subaru while everyone was leaving for the night . Having been expecting this, Subaru answered with a [Yeah] as he followed behind the slouching figure, heading into the forest surrounding the Sanctuary .
Subaru wasn’t sure if Garfiel was bringing him to the same spot as last time, but he could tell that Garfiel’s expression was exactly the same as back then .
With eyes blazing, Garfiel locked his glare onto Subaru .
In stark contrast to his attitude as they left the Tomb, his hostility was now plain as day .
Naturally, the first question to come out his mouth was――
[Garfiel: What d……]
[Subaru: “What did y’bastard see in the Tomb”……?]
A blue vein was about to bulge from Garfiel forehead at Subaru’s interruption when his eyes widened as he heard the exact words he was about to say .
As if taken completely off guard, Garfiel’s cutting impression fell away to an almost childish air . It was almost strange .
Immediately shaking his head at the squinting Subaru, Garfiel clicked his fangs as if to compose himself .
[Garfiel: That’s creepy as fuck, but if y’already know, that’d speed things up . Don’t try hidin’ anythin’, honest now . Y’don’t want me t’hurt ya, do ya]
[Subaru: Right . But I’m a busy guy, there’re loads of things I want to check as well . ――If I answer your questions… in exchange, will you answer some of mine?]
[Garfiel: Y’think yer in any position t’negotiate? I’m in a position t’eat y’whole, and yer in th’position t’keep tossin’ meat t’stave off gettin’ eaten . “Meegee gives up th’big bro before the lil’ bro”, as they say]
[Subaru: Of all the references you made… that might be the darkest one, you know]
Replying with a shrug, Subaru dropped his gaze and fell into silence .
Garfiel looked like he was growing impatient, but he didn’t pressure Subaru to hurry . While Subaru took a deep breath, and decided how best to answer .
[Subaru: Inside, I took the Trial . I saw my past]
[Garfiel: ――! So y’did have th’qualifications……tch . Then, yer result’s……]
[Subaru: Failed . It’s not so easy, accepting or denying your past . ……It’s the same with Emilia, I’m afraid]
Giving him half a truth and half a lie, Subaru tried to gauge Garfiel’s response .
Garfiel’s face paled when he heard that Subaru had taken the Trial, but once learned that Subaru didn’t pass, his shoulders slumped in relief .
[Subaru: Well you sure look pretty damn pleased about it]
[Garfiel: What d’y……?]
[Subaru: I was just thinking, you certainly look pretty happy to hear that Emilia failed, and the Sanctuary won’t be liberated]
Listening to Subaru’s words, Garfiel furrowed his brows and snorted as if starting to catch on . Slightly lowering his stance, he glared up at Subaru .
[Garfiel: Y’bastard, what’n yer past……’n yer Trial, what th’hell did y’hear?]
[Subaru: About the creation of the Sanctuary, and some background stuff as well . Also, about you and Lewes-san, I guess]
[Garfiel: ――! Y’know…… about, my……]
“Past?”, Garfiel was about to say, when Subaru cut him off with a shake of his head .
[Subaru: Not sure what you saw your past, but I don’t know nearly that much . Alhough, I do have an idea why you’re keeping quiet about having taken the Trial]
[Garfiel: ……Y’already know that much…]
[Subaru: Part of it’s speculation, too . You can reply with an outraged “You’re just imagining it!”, if you want]
In this world, Subaru and Garfiel have only known each other for a single day .
Most of the information he had gathered from his interactions with Garfiel were things he wasn’t supposed to have heard yet . The same goes for information about the original Lewes Meyer, sleeping in the Experimental Grounds .
Thus, Subaru was trying bypass this by conveniently making use of the Trials and Echidona’s existence .
For now, he figured that there was nothing else he could gain from this interaction with Garfiel .
So he really just wanted this conversation to be over .
But――
[Subaru: ――Say, why won’t you retake the Trials?]
[Garfiel: ――――]
In front of the silent Garfiel, Subaru asked him this question .
Hearing this, Garfiel lowered his head so as not to let Subaru see his expression .
His arms dangled at his sides, as his wary posture slackened and lost its strength .
From that, Subaru judged that no sudden attack was coming .
[Subaru: You know, I can’t help but feel that your actions lack consistency . First you push Emilia to liberate the Sanctuary, and then you look all relieved when she fails . But then again, if you’re really trying to block the Sanctuary from being liberated, you’re going about it way too half-heartedly]
If he completely disregarded the consequences, Garfiel could just transform into a beast and kill Subaru and Emilia .
Naturally, his relationship with the refugees and Roswaal’s faction would plummet, but if Garfiel’s goal was truly to hinder the Sanctuary’s liberation, then this method would be both quick and reliable .
And yet, Garfiel didn’t take any actions up until the very last moment――until Subaru crossed the line by having the refugees escape the Sanctuary .
――There was still some threshold inside Garfiel’s mind that Subaru didn’t know of .
[Subaru: I was hoping I could get your help]
[Garfiel: ――Do, n’t say such stupid crap]
Hearing Subaru say this, Garfiel paused a moment before turning him down .
Looking up and shaking his head, Garfiel’s usual vigor completely gone from his face .
[Garfiel: Like y’said, our interest ain’t aligned . I won’t actively get in yer way, but I ain’t gonna help ya, either . Neutral . Yeah, neutral’s good]
[Subaru: You do realize that position doesn’t suit you at all?]
[Garfiel: It ain’t a matter of suitin’ or not . I’m just doin’ it ‘cus it’s what I have t’do]
Annoyed at saying something he wouldn’t usually say, Garfiel kicked at the ground, sweeping up a cloud of dust as he turned his back to Subaru .
[Garfiel: If that Half-Witch beats th’Trials, that’s fine by me . Once yer here, the only way yer gettin out is by passin’ the Trials . I’m aware of that . ――But whether I’m leavin’ the Sanctuary’s once it’s freed ‘s another matter]
[Subaru: …………]
[Garfiel: If yer gonna leave, go ahead’n get out . But don’t try anythin’ in here . Don’t meddle in our shit any more’n y’already have . Y’stay by that, and I ain’t gonna do anythin’]
[Subaru: Even if I told you that we need your help outside?]
[Garfiel: ……Th’things that I want, none of y’lot can give me . This’s as far as this coversation goes . Don’t try pullin’ any unnecessary stunts now]
Though he refused to listen to Subaru, Garfiel left him with those still-rational words .
Garfiel had shown his strong rejection in all their conversations up to now, but only this time, he didn’t lose his composure .
Just what was different, and what could it mean?
[Subaru: There’s a mountain of things I have to think about…… but]
Inserting his fingers into his black hair, Subaru set aside his over-complicated considerations for now .
As much as he wanted to sort them, organize them, and arrange them to arrive at some kind of answer,
[Subaru: There’s no way I could sort out all these things alone]
Should he get lost inside his labyrinth of thoughts, Natsuki Subaru would only be caught in another downward spiral . To make sure that doesn’t happen, what he needed to do now was,
[Subaru: Guess it’s time to rely on you again……]
Subaru’s thoughts turned to the only person in the world to whom he could lay bare his worries .