Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 4 - Chapter 26.1

Chapter 26.1
ARC 4THE EVERLASTING COVENANT Chapter 26 [Impaction]

――He never should have asked .
Feeling a cold sweat rolling from his forehead to his jaw, Subaru once again recognized the extent of his own stupidity .
A distant-sounding ring was reverberating inside his skull, and his thumping heart groaned in pain .
[Roswaal: After hearing all of this, you are starting to regret it…… ar~~en’t you?]
Watching Subaru sink into silence, on the bed, Roswaal tilted his head .
Being asked this question by the clown playing with his long blue hair, Subaru couldn’t immediately come up with a reply . All he could do was to breathe quietly to calm himself down, and,
[Subaru: I was just, surprised, that’s all . How should I say it…… Emilia is, a bit older than I thought]
[Roswaal: Oya, didn’t you know? Emilia-sama, being Half-Elf, is a member of a race blessed with long life, though it would not be as long as the Elves . As for the Elves, you could say that unless they are killed, they would pretty much ne~~ver die]
Going along with Subaru’s evasive reply, Roswaal gave a similarly half-hearted explanation .
The characteristics of the Elves as Roswaal described them did seem to match the subculture-understanding of Elves in the original world . Subaru wasn’t sure how much the “Half” part came into, but, at least on the point of Emilia’s true age, assuming Roswaal’s words could be believed――
[Subaru: There’s at least a 60-year gap …… Even with my older-sister-complex, I’m a bit lacking in experience points when it comes to that kind of a age gap in a potential conquest target]
[Roswaal: This is unrelated, but…… . from the way you said that, it sound as if you’ve had contact with other long-lifed races besides Emilia-sama befo~~re?]
[Subaru: Well, immortals and vampires are pretty common character tropes in GAL-GAMES, you know . Loli-Granny Lewes-san’s a type as well…… such are the sins of past life]
Although, Non-Humans and Loli-Granny-types weren’t really a part of Subaru’s undertakings . Subaru’s STRIKE-ZONE was usually situated around older sisters and senpais at school .
That’s why, when he learned that there was actually a 60-year age gap, he more or less had some thoughts about it,
[Subaru: But since she’s cute, I’m OK with it . NO-PROBLEM . Emilia-tan is still the brightest star in my heart!]
Besides, since long-living races live for a long time, they probably grow at a slower rate, and so they probably mentally mature at a different rate as well . He’s seen that pretty often in these kind of character setups .
Kind of like how dog age is different from human age, 20 years old in human age is probably like 200 years old in Elf years . Then――
[Subaru: If I think of it that way, 90 years old Emilia-tan is still young, just a little girl…… no, from the Elves’ point of view, she’s might actually be a Loli . Oyoy, if such a sexy beautiful girl is only a Loli…… that’s a whole new genre isn’t it!]
[Roswaal: Even though indulging in various kind of fantastical delu~~sions is a good thing, the reality is ha~~rsher than you imagined . With the passage of time, people will grow . Even the minds of Elves would not mature any slower a~~t all]
[Subaru: You… I’m desperately trying to convince myself Emilia-tan is a little girl here, why do you have to immediately disprove me……]
Even though it was just wishful thinking, it was still annoying to have his last hope pulverized right off the bat . Under Subaru’s resentful leer, with [Besides], Roswaal continued,
[Roswaal: E~~~ven I can’t just stand by while watching you cover your o~~wn eyes and pretend nothing ha~~ppened . Ri~~ght, Subaru-kun?]
[Subaru: ――――]
[Roswaal: Having heard from me what you sho~~uldn’t have heard, do you regret it so much?]
[Subaru: ……You, really are an annoying guy]
Despite Subaru trying to gloss it over, just as he was about to bury it away, Roswaal just had to dig it all up again . After tossing back this limp retort, Subaru cursed at himself one more time .
That heavy cross borne upon Emilia’s delicate shoulders―― he had dishonestly heard it from someone other than herself .
[Subaru: ……In the Trial I saw my past . I’m sure Emilia saw hers too . In that case, the past she saw must have been……]
[Roswaal: If it is the past one least wishes to look back upon…… then the one Emilia-sama saw was no doubt the day when the Great Elior Forest fro~ze]
Roswaal confirmed Subaru’s fears .
Carrying on from this train of thought, Subaru came to realize just what horror he had been forcing Emilia to go through .
There is much to gain from finding closure, and overcoming one’s past――but…
[Subaru: Then, all that time, I’ve been making her face the past where she froze everyone in ice……?]
Between Emilia and Subaru, the magnitude of the guilt attached to their forsaken pasts were worlds apart .
Of course, it was difficult for Subaru to come to terms with the fact that he was cut off from his parents by an entire world between them . And he would not forgive himself if he cheapened that experience, or saw it as anything less than it was .
But on the other hand, what about Emilia’s problem?
Whereas Subaru was loved by his parents, received a push on his back, and was forgiven, would the past that Emilia had to face grant her this affirmation, and forgive her for her mistake?
Would she receive this, and move on from her past?
[Subaru: Emilia freezing the forest…… and the Elven village inside, is all of this certain? It sounds as if there’s no room for debate, but something feels off……]
[Roswaal: It’s true that we can’t be sure what really ha~ppened . Bu~~t, this was told to me directly by Emilia-sama herself . It was Emilia-sama herself who confessed to be the one who sealed the forest in ice . That much, shouldn’t leave room for any further contention?]
[Subaru: So if you aren’t sure what really happened, it could just be a misunderstanding…… To begin with, Emilia-tan isn’t the kind of person who could do such a thing……]
[Roswaal: No no~, you misundersta~~nd, that won’t do~, Subaru-kun]