Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 4 - Chapter 53.2

Chapter 53.2
===
Closing the bedroom door behind him, Subaru looked up and saw Ram sitting in a chair in the adjacent living room, sipping from a cup of steaming black tea .
Even though the house was vacated out of its owner Lewes’ hospitality, that didn’t seem to deter the maid from her usual insolence . Seeing this, Subaru let out a wry smile .
[Subaru: I should say sorry to have kept you waiting…… but, seeing your lackadaisical attitude, I kinda don’t want to anymore]
[Ram: Ram was rather expecting some sort of compliment for not touching the sweets . ――You didn’t do anything improper to Emilia-sama, I hope?]
[Subaru: You know I always put Emilia above everything else, so what kind of question is that? You’re the one who should be careful not to give Emilia anything weird to worry about……although I guess I can trust you there]
Her attitude towards Subaru was definitely ≠ her attitude towards Emilia .
Ram’s conduct could be considered vicious depending on who you ask, but it was precisely because of her refreshingly blatant discrimination that Subaru deemed her worthy of trust .
Hearing Subaru’s snortle, Ram finished the remaining contents of her cup and stood up . Then, watching her walk towards the bedroom,
[Subaru: By the way, you got a minute?]
[Ram: Disgraceful]
[Subaru: What kind of indiscriminate beast do you think I am!?]
Hugging her own body, Ram quickly placed some distance between herself and Subaru . Naturally, Subaru knew that she wasn’t being serious, but, deep down, it still hurt to see a girl react like this .
[Subaru: Don’t know why I have to say this, but, I’ve never looked at you in any sexy kind of way, you know]
[Ram: The fact that you said it with such bestial lust has completely destroyed your credibility . Besides, I’ve been sensing something strange in Barusu’s gaze ever since you arrived in the Sanctuary]
[Subaru: What’s that supposed to mean? That kind of baseless accusation is totally unheard of, you know! You sure you’re not just being overly self-conscious?]
[Ram: You are unaware of it, then . Somehow, your gaze seems to be strange and distant whenever you look at me . I don’t know who, but it’s as if you’re looking at someone else through Ram]
――What she said was true, and that Subaru himself had failed to realize it only made it all the more shocking .
As if having just taken a blow to the head, Subaru could sense his thoughts freeze still . His face stiffened and his eyes swam . But, resenting the fact that he was reacting this way, he quickly recovered himself and shrugged,
[Subaru: I-I have no idea what you’re talking about]
[Ram: It really is strange that you’d only realize it after I pointed it out . But that gaze wasn’t entirely unpleasant… that’s why I didn’t say anything until now]
Watching the shaken Subaru, Ram softly sighed .
Her attitude was different from the way she was always teasing him, almost like she was being considerate of his pain .
Their appearances were nearly identical, but inside, they were completely different . Even though he should have known this, whenever Ram behaves so gently towards him, it’d almost feel as though she and the sleeping girl were beginning to overlap .
What Ram pointed out was true . She wasn’t mistaken . Through Ram, Subaru was seeing the girl who looked almost exactly like her . And he couldn’t help it .
It was also Ram who made him realize this .
[Ram: ……So, was there something you wanted to ask me?]
[Subaru: Uegh?]
[Ram: It wasn’t my intention to depress Barusu . In fact, making Barusu depressed is quite low on my priorities list . Right now, Ram intends to wait on Emilia-sama and return to Roswaal-sama’s side . So if you don’t start talking, you wouldn’t mind if I start ignoring you?]
[Subaru: No wait…… uuh, right . I wanted to ask about Garfiel]
Imposing on Ram’s rare display of patience, Subaru wrenched out the question he had wanted to ask .
Hearing this, Ram’s brows lifted in surprise, breaking her apathetic expression,
[Ram: Did something happen between you and Garf?]
[Subaru: Nothing yet, but can’t guarantee what might happen later on . I’ll have a lot more opportunities to run into that guy, and you seem to have known him for a while, so I figured I should try asking you]
[Ram: Is that so…… well, I’ll take your word for it]
Saying this as if having seen through Subaru’s mind, Ram touched her hand to her chin .
[Ram: So, what did you want to ask about Garf?]
[Subaru: Well, I already know that guy’s ridiculously overpowered, but, uh…… what do you think will get Garfiel to leave the Sanctuary?]
[Ram: ……That’s, certainly a strange question]
[Subaru: I figured there’s no point beating around the bush here . Guess it doesn’t matter whether you think I’m strange or not at this point]
Unlike Emilia, whom he wanted to hide his underhanded dealings from, it’d be alright if Ram was let in on some of his secret activities . In fact, whether it was the upcoming release of the refugees or the inevitable events that will be unfolding outside the Sanctuary, it would be more convenient if Ram knew about them beforehand .
[Ram: I don’t know what you’re plotting, and I’m not interested, but if you want to get Garfiel out of the Sanctuary…… well, it’s not entirely impossible if Ram implored him]
[Subaru: Love’s his weak spot, huh . I thought of it too, but it’s kinda hard to say the words]
No doubt Ram would be far more persuasive than Subaru if she was the one to raise the issue with Garfiel . But then Subaru remembered what happened after Garfiel morphed into a giant tiger to chase him as he tried to leave .
There, Garfiel even turned his claws on Ram, the person he supposedly loved, just so he could continue hunting Subaru . Ultimately, the Sanctuary was more important to him than Ram .
[Subaru: But, Ram… That’s probably……]
[Ram: Right . It’s probably useless]
While Subaru was agonizing over how to respond without sounding like he already knew, Ram casually affirmed his thoughts .
Seeing Subaru’s eyes widen, Ram brushed her hand through her peach-colored hair,
[Ram: While Garf is certainly enraptured by Ram, he has already decided on the priorities in his heart . Just like what Roswaal-sama is to Ram]
[Subaru: So there’s something else even more important to Garfiel……? Do you know what that is?]
[Ram: I know . But I won’t tell you]
Suddenly averting her eyes, Ram did not answer his question . Subaru continued staring at her, as if requesting that she answer him, but, unfazed, Ram only sighed,
[Ram: It is certainly conceited to want to one-sidedly surmise the heart of another . Garfiel’s heart belongs to Garfiel . If you wish to know, you can ask him directly]
[Subaru: Hey which one of us is the living definition of conceited here? ……And did you know about Roswaal’s book?]
[Ram: ……Where did you hear about that?]
Just like this, they traded blows, tit for tat .
Although he knew that Ram was right, Subaru’s rebellious spirit still pushed him to object . Ram reacted fiercely to this unexpected question, narrowing her eyes as if to pierce through Subaru with her gaze,
[Ram: Depending on what you say next, I may soon need to hurt you]
[Subaru: And that would be disobeying Roswaal’s wishes, wouldn’t it? Drop the act, Ram . You can’t do anything of the sort]
At least, Ram had never harmed Subaru since they arrived in the Sanctuary . Not only that, one time she had even proclaimed her intention to help him without Roswaal’s express orders .
It was with this in mind that Subaru provoked her, having seen through the fact that she would not physically attack him . Hearing this, Ram’s expression darkened,
[Ram: Your eyes have become sickening, Barusu]
[Subaru: Huh?]
[Ram: I don’t know what you saw in the Tomb, but it mustn’t have been anything good . This current Barusu is so sickening that I have no desire to speak to you anymore]
[Subaru: ……What I saw in the Tomb . . was a kind of hope for me . Don’t just go labeling it as nothing good]
Recalling his encounter with the white-haired Witch――Echidona, Subaru curled his lips at Ram’s implicit rejection of their meeting .
Although his discussion with Echidona had lead to the tragedy of the previous loop, Subaru nonetheless believed that he had received more than what he had paid . Just having someone he could confess Return by Death to was already plenty enough compensation .
[Subaru: ――――]
For a moment, Subaru and Ram’s eyes met .
Just what could be residing within the depths of those faintly wavering eyes? Subaru strained his awareness to see it, but, before the image could take shape, it dispersed as she looked away .
[Ram: You should leave now . It wouldn’t do to make Emilia-sama wait much longer]
[Subaru: ……Sorry to have kept you . I know… that what you’ve said wasn’t wrong]
At last, he apologized for his brashness, and Ram, accepting his apology, turned away and headed for the bedroom .
Watching her maid’s dress disappear behind the closing door, Subaru exhaled a long, deep sigh, and left Lewes’ house .
===