Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 4 - Chapter 92.3

Chapter 92.3
&123;Puck: ――――&125;
Receiving Subaru’s thought-waves, Puck’s reaction was neither rejection nor laughter, but silence .
If that unseen cat-spirit was here in form, he’d probably be floating there with his leisurely air and carefree expression, swaying his long tail to and fro .
&123;Puck: Amazing, Subaru . That’s a better answer than I expected&125;
Puck said after a moment of silence with an impressed tone in his voice .
At this, Subaru exhaled a sigh through his nostrils .
&123;Subaru: Seriously, your compliments don’t make me happy at all, you know&125;
&123;Puck: It’s honest praise . You didn’t have much information to go on, so the fact that you’ve deduced this far really is surprising . You know Lia’s heart well&125;
Saying so with an air of deep compassion, Puck’s consciousness was probably watching the sleeping Emilia . As if lured by that voice, Subaru turned his gaze to her pale, sleeping face as well .
Lying there, sound asleep, it was impossible to tell whether she was having a good dream or a nightmare .
The Trial and its accompanying past whittling at her heart―― Subaru had his doubts as to how accurate that recreated past was to the past that actually took place .
The past that Subaru saw in his Trial was about him parting with his parents, who were the symbols of his past regrets . It was only natural . The past Subaru needed to overcome was not a single great event, but the environment in which he had languished throughout the time he had spent in sloth .
And so, for Subaru, the Trial created a time and space that never truly existed, and gave him a pleasant reprieve to be with his parents while urging him to make his farewells .
&123;Subaru: Those pasts aren’t necessarily faithful to what happened in the real world . They’re just mental images drawn from the challenger’s mind assembled into a form suited for the Trials&125;
At the end of the Trial, Echidona had told Subaru the rough outlines of how the Trial worked . Having collected pieces of memories that even Subaru didn’t know he remembered, the Trial had used them to craft “An Elaborately Fabricated World” .
In other words, none of Subaru’s parting from his parents was real, and it had been no more than self-satisfaction .
――“But so what?”, were Subaru’s present thoughts .
&123;Subaru: The past you see in the Tomb is a forgery disguised as the real thing . And the asshole who set up the Trials did it so that the challenger’ll reach whatever answer satisfies her the most&125;
Echidona hadn’t stated as much, but, from what he had seen of that Witch’s deviousness first-hand, Subaru was sure it was just the kind of thing she would do .
And so,
&123;Subaru: The past that Emilia saw would be part reality and part fabrication . And you…… must know something that would be decisive in correcting that discrepancy . That’s why Emilia’s subconscious is blocking her attempts to summon you&125;
&123;Puck: ……Which begs the question . If I’m with her, Lia would see the past as it really was . So why would Lia’s heart reject me, knowing this?&125;
&123;Subaru: That’s s……&125;
“Simple”, Subaru was about to say when he hesitated .
The reason for his hesitation was just as simple . If the next words came out of his mouth, it would mean exposing the reality of Emilia’s past―― as well as the fact that the cruel and aversive scene she had described was only a cover for the truth buried in her heart .
&123;Puck: …… . because the truth that Lia has forgotten is far more unforgiving than the false memories she had spoken of&125;
Puck finished Subaru’s sentence for him .
Recognizing what he had failed to recognize until the words came out, Subaru’s face twisted in grief as he looked towards Emilia .
The people she had spent those days with in tenderness and warmth―― to have those same people turn on her with all their hate and malice, showering her with their spite inside the ice as she bade her long, long farewell:
That past which tore at Subaru’s body and soul just thinking about was, in fact, a gentle cradle to shield her from an even crueler truth .
&123;Subaru: Do you… know what Emilia actually saw?&125;
&123;Puck: ……Unfortunately, I don’t . When I first met Lia, it was already after she had been frozen alongside the forest . So I don’t know why Lia would be afraid of my presence . And I have no idea how I play into Lia’s past&125;
Listening to Puck’s mutters of genuine regret, Subaru bit down on his lip .
Emilia’s real past―― was the reason she couldn’t pass the Trial . Grasping this, he was now one step closer to the answer .
Each time Emilia was inside the Trial, she saw both her real and her fabricated past . And she herself wanted that fabricated past to be her real one .
As long as she fails to reach an answer to her actual past, she will not pass the Trial . And so long as Emilia continues lying to her own heart, those sweet knives of her past would continue shredding away at her mind .
&123;Subaru: What should I do?&125;
&123;Puck: I don’t know&125;
&123;Subaru: I want to help Emilia… and become her strength&125;
&123;Puck: It is the same for me . I exist only for her sake . If I cannot be her strength, then there is no reason for me to exist&125;
&123;Subaru: I want to support her in everything she wishes to do… and I want to be at her side&125;
&123;Puck: ――――&125;
Faced with Subaru’s appeals, Puck fell silent as he sank into thought . All the while, Subaru intently waited for the spirit’s reply . Then, with a voice laced with determination,
&123;Puck: Subaru . ――There is only one possibility&125;
&123;Subaru: Possibility……?&125;
&123;Puck: It is a solution that would’ve been absolutely unthinkable if I were on my own, and, even now, I am strongly averse to it . This is something I never imagined I would suggest, even if I did consider it&125;
Listening to Puck’s consternation, Subaru braced himself for the words to come . At least, this was the first time Subaru had heard Puck speak in a voice this serious in his normal form .
&123;Subaru: What do you need me to do?&125;
&123;Puck: It is something that I will have to do . Though you will be the one left with all the cleanup afterwards&125;
&123;Subaru: ……You sound like you’re gonna say something insane next, I’m kinda scared&125;
&123;Puck: I never thought I’d end up leaving it all in someone else’s hands, either . But, well…… I believe you are the only person who’d be willing to stake your life for Lia’s sake, if need be&125;
Sensing that Puck was repressing some great emotion as he spoke, Subaru sucked in a small breath .
No doubt――Puck’s assessment was correct . For Emilia, Natsuki Subaru would gladly lay down his life .
Seeing Subaru give his silent assent, Puck must’ve nodded inside the crystal as well .
And then, in a quiet voice,
&123;Puck: Tomorrow morning, I will break my contract with Lia . ――And once the relationship between Lia and me is severed, I’m sure that when she cries, you will do what you can to comfort her&125;