Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 4 - Chapter 66.1

Chapter 66.1
Chapter 66 [A Crimson Snowcape]

――Seeing Subaru come out of the Tomb alone, Garfiel’s hostility spiked as if stabbing into Subaru’s skin .
The cold was of a different level outside the Tomb .
Contrary to the somewhat insulated warmth inside, the extreme cold of the Sanctuary sucked all the stamina and warmth out of one’s body in a matter of seconds .
An endless blizzard, and a blinding curtain of white . His exhaled breaths froze as they left his mouth, and the shivers driving into his core were almost unbearable .
Hugging his own shoulders, Subaru shuddered in front of Garfiel’s glare .
And, clicking his exposed fangs, Garfiel’s attention turned to the empty corridor behind Subaru,
[Garfiel: Doesn’t look like anyone’s behind ya, oy]
[Subaru: Yeah, she’s not coming . Emilia is inside, sleeping right now]
[Garfiel: Sleepin’? Huh?]
[Subaru: She’s exhausted . For two days straight, she’s just been waking up to the Trials, over and over . It’s worn her down, both body and soul . And she hasn’t been eating . It’s just like her… to force herself like this]
Again and again, forcing herself to challenge the Trials only to fail regardless, Subaru could imagine Emilia’s frustration and disappointment .
Surely, it would be the same the sense of powerlessness that Subaru himself had felt on so many occasions .
[Subaru: ――――]
Deep inside the Tomb, in her reprieve from the Trials, Emilia was blissfully sleeping .
The memory of Emilia’s body heat and of the warmth of their long embrace as she whispered her blind love into his ear at once sent Subaru’s blood boiling with love and longing, and left him stricken with such regret that he wanted to die .
He remembered Emilia’s flushed cheeks, her voice trembling with passion as she said all the words he had wanted to hear, and the entirety of her emotion tempting him to drown inside it .
Had a part of him considered just letting himself drown and sink into that tender depravity alongside Emilia? No one could possibly know .
After rejecting Emilia’s temptations that would have brought even Gods to their knees, Subaru walked out of the Tomb .
Leaving Emilia as she slept, he had no intention of telling her about what was happening outside . And he was not about to bring her within reach of Garfiel’s malice .
But, in contrast to Subaru’s quiet determination, Garfiel’s rage showed no signs of dissipating .
He kicked at the snow under his foot and clicked his bleach-white fangs,
[Garfiel: Y’didn’t drag out th’Half-Witch . The snow doesn’t look like it’s stoppin’ . Y’didn’t bring any souvenirs and came back with nothin’ but yer stinkin’ mug . Th’fuck d’ya think yer doin’, ah?]
[Subaru: ――Emilia, she… told me she loves me]
[Garfiel: …… …… …………Hah?]
Subaru’s off-beat remark might’ve been too out of place here . For a moment, Garfiel looked as if he couldn’t understand what he had just heard . But his face quickly darkened as he decided that he was being played with .
[Garfiel: Looks like the Half-Witch ain’t th’only one who ain’t seein’ th’situation here, hah!? Take a look where we are, and yer still bullshittin’ with me, oy!? Oyoy! AAH!?]
The heat of Garfiel’s seething rage began evaporating the melted snow on his skin . And the sight of Garfiel’s body swelling was no optical illusion, but the start of his transformation from human to giant tiger .
Subaru did not waver as he watched .
With the same expression as when he uttered his previous words, Subaru went on staring at him with the same dry gaze .
And repeated in front of the enraged Garfiel,
[Subaru: Emilia, said that she loves me, and that all she needs is me]
[Garfiel: ――Y’fuckin’…]
[Subaru: With her adorable face, her clinging voice, her tingling movements, at a distance so close that I could melt, almost touching, within range of each other’s breathing…… that was what she told me]
[Garfiel: So fuckin’ what!? It was already obvious when y’got here that Half-Witch’s fuckin’ glued to ya . If y’wanted congratulations for y’two gettin together, rippin y’two to shreds would fuckin’ do it――]
Beastial growls began mixing with his curses as Garfiel’s transformation accelerated with his wrath . Ready to pounce at any moment, Garfiel jabbed his words into Subaru .
――And that was the last straw .
[Subaru: ……how could it be]
[Garfiel: Hah? Didn’t hear that, y’mind repeatin’……]
[Subaru: ――How could Emilia possibly tell me that she loves me!!??]
[Garfiel: ――――hk]
Subaru turned up his face and screamed .
Even Garfiel fell mute in front of this flood of emotions . Glaring at the flinching Garfiel, bearing an expression of agony, Subaru allowed his heart to erupt .
The words they shared in the Tomb, the heat of their touch, and the certainty of their love―― he threw them all away .
Was it painful? Of course it was painful . But, within those inseverable memories, there existed not the slightest radiance of genuine meaning .
How nice it would be, if Subaru could be foolish enough to be deceived by that counterfeit radiance .
But it was Natsuki Subaru’s misfortune to be incapable of being that foolish .
[Subaru: How could she say it . How could Emilia tell me that she loves me…… cling to me, offer up everything to me, and tell me she needs nothing but me…… that could never happen]
[Garfiel: The fuck y’goin’ on about, oy?]
[Subaru: She would never lean on me this way, and tell me that her feelings for me are her everything . Never . ――If Puck was here, there’s no way she could be so utterly engrossed with me……]
He couldn’t say how desperately he wished he could be placed first in Emilia’s heart .
But Subaru wasn’t so conceited as to believe that he was nearly enough to be worthy of that place in her heart, nor did he think so little of her .
The one Emilia relied on the most, the one she would cling to till the very, very end, would always be Puck .
Now that Puck would not appear before her, she was merely turning to Subaru as the secondary harbor of her reliance, nothing more .
Her confessions of love, the warmth of her fingertips, and her trembling breaths, Subaru didn’t want to believe that they had all been lies .
He didn’t want to―― but he knew that they weren’t real .
Lifting his head, Subaru glared into Garfiel .
Garfiel’s anger seemed to have cooled, but this time, it was Subaru who bared his teeth,
[Subaru: Who was it that drove her into a corner until she had no choice but to depend on a worthless guy like me? Who made her think that she had to keep going…… no matter how many times her heart had been broken, over and over! Who!?]
[Garfiel: That’s all necessary, ain’t it! That’s a choice you fuckin’ made yourself! Th’fuck’re y’tryin’ t’pin this on me…… n’ the others in th’Sanctuary, HAH!?]
Garfiel shot back at Subaru’s charges .
But, listening to Garfiel’s barked retort, Subaru only shook his head .
Who was it that drove Emilia into a corner?
He already knew the answer without having to ask .
[Subaru: There’s no question whose fault it is…… it’s my fault]
[Garfiel: ――Hah!?]
[Subaru: It’s my fault . It’s my fault that Emilia is driven into a corner . It’s my fault, it’s your fault, it’s all of your faults]
[Garfiel: ……Cut it with that bullshit . If she can’t stand th’weight and caves, ain’t that just her calibre!? If her heart’s that weak and she goes settin’ a goal that high, ain’t that just her makin’ a fuckin’ fool of herself!]
[Subaru: Yeah . You’re right . Emilia’s too gentle, so she only ever takes the pressure head on . So she never unloads her burdens on anyone else, until she crumbles . ――Even though that was what I was supposed to do]
Receiving Garfiel’s rage, Subaru felt his heart growing cold just like the white snowscape around him .
“Even though that’s what I have to do”, he felt like clarifying .
[Subaru: Yeah . That’s what I have to do . That’s why I’m here…… and even though I’m the one saying this, what was I doing……]
[Garfiel: Th’fuck’re y’agreein’ with yerself, oy . ……No, nevermind . Just, nevermind . There’s no end t’bullshittin’ with ya . “Mordoba’s thirst ain’t never get quenched” . If y’can’t do it, then……]
[Subaru: You’ll go in the Tomb and bring Emilia out yourself……? You think you can actually do it?]
[Garfiel: ……Th’hell’s that supposed to mean]
Garfiel muttered this quiet threat . Though it was meant to intimidate Subaru, it only served to confirm Subaru’s baseless conjecture .
[Subaru: Garfiel, I already know you’re an Apostle of Greed . I know that’s the only way you can be granted command authority over the Leweses]
[Garfiel: ――――]
[Subaru: So it’s inevitable, that being an Apostle of Greed, you must’ve been inside the Tomb . ……Or, more accurately, that you’ve taken the Trials]
[Garfiel: ――You…]
[Subaru: You’ve challenged the Trials, haven’t you . Though I don’t know why you’re so insistent in keeping it a secret . Is it because the Sanctuary’s residents are forbidden to enter the Tomb? If not…… then is it for Lewes, who entered the Tomb to save you?]
[Garfiel: ――――gh]
Garfiel’s complexion turned .
After all, family was Garfiel’s sore spot . Watching his expression shift to a color of agony, Subaru continued weaving his conjectures as he spoke .
[Subaru: Frederica told me about how you went inside the Tomb . And I heard that Lewes went in as well]
[Garfiel: That…… fuckin’ snitch……! Just leavin’ ain’t enough for her, she had to pander to th’fuckers outside……tch]
[Subaru: What, would it be so bad if a certain someone caught wind of this? Come to think of it, who was it that made this contract with the residents, anyway? Was it the Witch Echidona who created this Sanctuary? If so, then have the residents of the Sanctuary been upholding a contract with the dead all this time?]
[Garfiel: Don’t y’fucking――!]
“――go any further”, Garfiel kicked into the ground, becoming one with the wind as he flew towards Subaru .
Aiming his claws that could shred through steel directly at Subaru’s face――
[Subaru: ――The one making the snow fall is Roswaal]
[Garfiel: ――――]
Hearing Subaru strike the core of the matter, Garfiel’s claw stopped just inches from his face .
Watching a look of stupefaction rising onto Garfiel’s expression, Subaru nodded .
[Subaru: It’s not Emilia . Without Puck here, Emilia couldn’t do this by herself . Even if, on the million to one chance, that Emilia was the one who caused this, there’s no way that girl could hide it from me so flawlessly]
[Garfiel: That’s…… just yer wishful thinkin’……]
[Subaru: You’re right, but I can only believe . That girl, even if she’s completely abandoned herself, she’s not the kind of girl who’d throw a tantrum and hurt everyone around her…… I just believe that]
It may be a suspect he had arrived at through the process of elimination .
But it was certainly not a baseless accusation .
[Subaru: The one binding you all to the Sanctuary… is Roswaal, isn’t it?]
[Garfiel: Y’heard that from Frederica too?]
[Subaru: Of course not…… it was just me sorting out all the information and evidence, and having enough prejudice and bad impressions about that guy to not balk at making false accusations . ――But looks like I was right]
[Garfiel: ――――]
As Garfiel fell silent, Subaru exhaled a white sigh .
――It was just the exhaustion of finding out that the person he suspected of being the mastermind was really the mastermind . But, even if he knew that Roswaal was the one conspiring behind the scenes, he still didn’t know why he would oversee a contract that was trapping the Sanctuary’s residents here, and why he would be tormenting them with this snow . No matter how much Subaru thought, he couldn’t find a plausible answer .
In that case,
[Subaru: Guess we’ll just take a few shots at that smug face of his]
Listening to Subaru mutter this full with resolve, Garfiel dropped his arms .
And Subaru could tell that Garfiel’s face was painted with the same emotions as his own .