Chapter 489 - Trust Is The Same As Committing A Sin
For a while, it was rather difficult; she still behaved coldly in front of her classmates. But gradually, as time went by, the situation changed. She hasn't opened up to others aside from him regarding sensitive topics, but she no longer treats people as the enemy. For him, that was already a considerable improvement.
"Back when we were working together. I tried." Yuhi mumbled.
?
Sumire laughed. "Indeed you did; it almost worked, Yuhi. But you left me."
It pained him just thinking about the time apart from her, let alone hear her mention it.
"For me trusting others is the same as committing a sin. It means giving everything. I gave everything to Sano, such sincere and honest feelings. But in the end, he didn't hesitate to trample over it." She trailed off. "He really was a good person at the start. When I saw that he snuck out of the party, I followed him. I already heard about him from others but what they knew were superficial things. I learned a lot just talking to him for a few seconds. He was a sincere and yet clumsy guy."
"He changed." Yuhi nodded. He had no doubt that her judgment of him was correct.
"Yes, he did," She whispered, her tone filled with regret. "But I can't blame him for that either. If anyone lived in that toxic environment every day, they would change. At the end of the day, it is still human nature to defend ourselves automatically. The first thing we do when others accuse us is to defend ourselves. San created weapons, a barrier to surround him to save himself. If he didn't do that, they would have swallowed him alive, and he would be nothing but a puppet."
"Even if you analyzed it that much, it still hurts, right?"
"Yes, especially since I knew how kind he was. Perhaps I am still clinging to the past him before he changed. Whenever I am with him now, I still see faint signs of it. Maybe I am only doing this to satisfy my own ego. I already know no matter how many talks we have, he won't return to how he was then."
So now that has cleared everything up. Yuhi could never have figured out it was something like this. He did think that the regrets over the break-up thing were a flimsy excuse. There was even the taking revenge on him and using him as a toy thing.
'I went along with it, but I knew something was strange.' Sumire was not serious about either of those things. There was a time where he suspected that she might be in love with Nagawa, but that thought quickly went away when he became friends with Kou and the others.
When Sumire disappeared for two months, he heard many stories from them. The ones Jun told him were the ones that cleared his doubts. 'She treated everybody the same way; she would smile but have such a hollow look in her eyes.' Later on, Kou admitted that he did sleep with her a few times, but every single time her gaze would look empty.
That statement is the same one as Atsuro.
They were all the same to her, even when she dated Nagawa. She never loved him. The reason she could do those intimate things with them wasn't due to her feelings of love. She could do those things because she herself had already given up on everything.
Initially, he was still worried about that theory, but with this, all his doubts have cleared.
Yuhi scooped her up in his arms, and Sumire wrapped her arms around his neck. "I don't want to lie to you anymore regarding this."
"I don't think that was a lie. Even if you weren't serious about the other reasons, it was still part of it."
"I should have told you sooner."
Yuhi shook his head. "No, I understand why you didn't say it. At the time, I was already working on making you get along with others and accompanying you everywhere due to your fear. You didn't want to burden me any further with something additional."
"That's right, but now that I think of it, that was stupid too. Yuhi, you genuinely care for me. You would never find anything I do a burden. Even if it meant dividing your time further and sacrificing your career, you would have thrown it away easily."
"Yeah, but thinking about it, that would be too careless. I need to provide for my wife to spoil her." Yuhi used the same words that she did earlier.
Sumire laughed nervously. "Then can I ask, where are we going?" At some point, he had carried her away from the living room and brought her upstairs.
"I think if I answer, you would only end up feeling ashamed again."
Sumire sighed. "You truly have no self-restraint. Well, since I have unleashed the beast, I will have to go along with it."
Despite her brave-sounding words, Yuhi sensed how nervous she was. She truly is silly at times. But he recalled the words she said earlier. It seems she has had more things going on than he initially thought. Although he knew it wasn't that simple, he felt regretful that he didn't ask her more.
'If I sincerely asked her before, maybe she will talk to him about it.
But Yuhi knew better than to do that now. He isn't that shameless. Yuhi quickly led her to the room and placed her down on the bed. At first, he didn't do anything, but when Sumire leaned closer and wrapped her around his neck.
"I don't mind if it is you, so please-"
Yuhi cut her sentence short by kissing her passionately. He truly doesn't want to harm her anymore. But if this is what she wants, how could he possibly say no? He parted their lips and looked at the girl whose face was so red.
Even without being close to her, he could hear her rapid heartbeat.
No matter how many times they do this, she always reacts this way. Yuhi grabbed hold of her hand and softly kissed it. "Just trust me like usual."