The Sins of Anna Chapter 87 I Was Wrong 33.2

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I stand outside her door. I know I shouldn't leave. I shouldn't run this time, but when Jack pointed out how I had physically tried to hurt her. It be understandable to think I might do so again, and it ate at me. I wanted to argue and tell him it never fucking happens, but it had. My jealousy took over and I hurt her. There are all kinds of men surrounding her and falling for her; wanting her attention. Unknowingly she gives it to them. I'm normally an over confident man but I have done some awful shit to her and she as already told me no to marriage out of love. Who's to say she won't decide someday she wants more then just me since I am trying to convince her to do it for the clans for our friendship. Yes, there's still the attraction but if she tired of me, I don't think I could stand sharing her and I might hurt her if I found out she was seeing someone else on the side. The sound of the door opening and closing made me look up from my clouded thoughts.
"You're still here?" Jacks eyebrow raised in disapproval with his arms folded over his chest.
"I had another phone call with information but decided to wait till you too where done before interrupting." I lie. I don't need to but honestly, I felt like an idiot standing out here like a lost puppy dog scratching at the door begging to be let back in.
"You better not hurt her again or I swear to god no one will save you from what I will do to you Lord Feng." With those words Jacks head and shoulders sank and walked off. Once he rounded the corner. I tapped on her door Pathetic as it is, I was a lost puppy begging for his owner to let him in at this point. I hadn't gotten my release elsewhere earlier not that I would have been able to and I know it. To top it off having her so close and finally starting to understand what she's thinking and what's going on I can't stand the thought of not being near her, not having her. I wanted to hate her with every fiber of my being but turns out that's impossible even if she doesn't believe me. Instead of seeing her as the enemy, the child of the woman who brought my mother's death, I can only see the woman I love about to follow same fate as my mother. I can't sit by like the powerless boy I was and watch another person I love break and die because of this life.
The door creaked open and I was met with her tired but beautiful face. "Ren, why?" Before she would finish, I pushed the door open little more scooping her close to me needing to feel her warmth. I closed the door locking it behind me as I kiss her gently.
"Come beautiful let's get you to bed, we can talk tomorrow."
"You're staying here." She looks up at me questioningly.
"If you say I can." I watch as she tilts her head almost gazing into my face questioningly.
"I just want to tuck you in I'll go shower and then I swear all I will do is hold you nothing else if that's what your worried about." A wicked smile covers her face.
"Here I thought you where going to **** me, anything to make sure I was pregnant, so I'd have no choice but to marry you."
I smile "Honey if you want me to take advantage of you all you have to do is ask. No will it make you feel better if it's ****, so you don't have to admit you want me as much as I want you?"
"How on earth did you ever get such a big head, I was just testing your resolve." I entangle my fingers into her hair pulling it back.
"I can show you my resolve if that's what you want." I whisper in her ear. Her body loosens then tightens again as if fighting to keep up it's defenses.
She puts her hands on my chest pushing distance between us. I feel so lonely. I just want to force her against me till she understands. I fucked up, I need to make up for it to start a new. To have a fresh start with this woman.
"Anna." I say her name beggingly hoping she isn't about to send me away.
"Shower."
"What," I ask confused.
"I need to shower I haven't since I was near that scum bag and I feel as if my insides are crawling." She pushes away more I let her go and watch her quickly retreat into the bathroom. The sound of water gushing out seconds later can be heard. I stare at the door unsure if she's excepting me to leave or not. Though if I'm not told to go, I'm definitely not going to I need to prove to her I'm not going to abandon her because that's what this is mostly about. She might not think I do but I do listen to her and she's mentioned it several times now about her family about me dropping her again. She's afraid and it's my fault so I need to rectify it. There is so little I knew about her and know so much more I don't know as she discovers herself. I look around the room and see the katanas sitting on top of her dresser tossed up on it like she hadn't had time to care if they where properly stored. Guess she was in a rush to get ready tonight after she got that message. I run my hands aver the black sheath and up to the hilt the handle has a green dragon on one and a blue dragon on the other engraved on it though they have faded over time. They weren't new swords. Meaning not bought for Anna.
"They were my moms, least that's what Daniel said." I freeze turning to find Anna watching me from the door frame of the bathroom.
"How long you been there?"
I watch her shrug. "It wasn't too long just long enough to notice you brooding in thought and then looking at the swords least I know you're not thinking of using them on me like you had my gun the first time you brought me to Feng manor." She graces me with a whisk of a smile.
"How can you say for sure." I mumble looking at her inquisitively.
"Because you regret hurting me," she walks over and slides her hand down one of the swords like it's a pet. "Daniel gave them to me after he found out despite his complaints that I had been taking special training to learning the Serpent Blade dance style in secret. When he saw how skilled I was he said I reminded him of my mother. I don't know much about it. Seems Daniel married in and took the Silverman name my mother was the true head and her blade dance was amazing. It's a style that's suppose to be passed down to the next generation in the clan I guess for the head." I watch her and listen carefully as she willingly opens up her heart. "I'm not a Silverman by name but I'm still her daughter" she sighs dropping her hands away from the blades then looks up at me meeting my eye. "I didn't ask for this to be real Ren."
"I know Angel face, I was wrong I fucked up."
"Understatement of the century just think last five months you had to go without sleeping with me." Her retorts and giggling catches me off guard.
"Why you little, when did you get such a big ego." I say grabbing at her she squeaks and races towards the bathroom. You can see the steam building up now.
"That's not fair going to go hide in the shower after starting trouble." She pokes her head out from the door. o one told you to wait out there. She bats those gorgeous eyelashes and fuck me I've lost. I follow her into the bathroom as if my life dependes on it.