Megami Buchigire Chapter 16 - Maou-sama and Yuusha-sama

Chapter 16: Maou-sama and Yuusha-sama

The Demon Lord’s Castle, aka where the demon king lives.
In this castle where the front door is no longer useable due to Maou-sama’s hobby of setting traps and the courtyard has been converted due to Maou-sama’s hobby of kitchen gardening, all the top brass of the demon race have been gathered.
The reason for that is——
“Alright, so let’s begin the eighth ‘How Can We Get Along Well With the Humans’ meeting.”
——Nandeyanen.
Maou-sama’s words evokes a tsukkomi inside all of the demons’ hearts.
But they cannot say it out loud. If they do, they will receive a tsukkomi from the Maou-sama from Kansai.
And Maou-sama’s tsukkomis are lethal. Even they would not be able to get away unharmed.
“……Why?”
Oh, we have a tsukkomi.
From the hero. Not a metaphorical hero, a true one in the full sense of the word.
His one antenna hair symbolizes how much of a hero among heroes he is while he heroically voices a tsukkomi.
“Cause peace is best, duh.”
As expected of the Japanese demon king. Despite being the demon king, she is a pacifist.
Rather than a true pacifist, she feels more like a peace-at-any-price person, but even Japanese tourists simply quietly go home without filing a claim after coming upon trouble on trips, so it cannot be helped.
Incidentally, in the overseas tourism industry, Japanese are called ‘fairies’ because they are great customers but if anything dissatisfies them they would just quietly leave and never come back.
How fantasy-like, eh.
“More like, why was I made to participate in this meeting?”
“Cus we want to hear opinions from the human side, but only Yuu-chan was willing to come.”
“I didn’t come here to take part in a meeting and more like who the hell is ‘Yuu-chan’?!”
(T/N: Hero = yuusha. I will use both interchangeably.)
Yuusha-sama’s explosive tsukkomi.
His heroic conduct that seems unaware of the line he is treading on causes the demons’ minds to be unplugged from reality. Except one.
“I’m not convinced! In the first place, why do we have to get along with the humans?!”
——Dayum, did you just-?!
The words of the Cyclops-san who can’t read the atmosphere causes the air in the room to freeze solid.
“……”
Maou-sama is still smiling.
But then she wordlessly jumps onto the long table, walks over, and grabs Cyclops-san’s head with both hands.
“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I WAS PREVIOUSLY A HUMAN MYSELF?!”
“Ow ow ow ow OW OW OW! MY HEAD! MY HEEAADDDD!!”
Maou-sama clutches Cyclops-san’s head as if hugging it.
In a way, it is an enjoyable technique. Let’s call it Maou Breaker.
(T/N: Reference to ‘back breaker,’ the pro wrestling technique.)
Go die!
“You needed to summon a king, fine. As for making a complete random stranger your king, I really want to comment on it but I’ll hold myself back. But WHY WAS IT ME?!”
“GinuAh?!”
Maou-sama’s shout is accompanied by Cyclops-san’s head changing into the shape of a gourd.
He would have been dead if he was human, but Cyclops-san’s head is completely filled with muscles so he’s fine.
“Furthermore, why has my hair turned red?! And on top of that why do I have horns?!?! A cow? Was the point to turn me into cow-like? THEN AT LEAST MAKE MY BOOBS THE SIZE OF A COW’S!!!!”
“……”
Maou-sama’s anger has soared off into a totally bizarre direction, while Cyclops-san can not move any longer.
No worries, he’s convulsing, which means he’s not dead.
“Ara, but I think Maou-sama’s modest breasts are quite lovely.”
“Shut you, you yuri vampire.”
Maou-sama immediately shoots down the consolation of one member of the echelon, a vampire lady by the name of Miraka-san.
Everyone knows that vampires target pretty girls, so it cannot be helped.
Taking advantage of how Maou-sama cannot hit girls, she has already made several attempts to sneak into Maou-sama’s bed. But that’s a secret, of course.
“Well anyways, I stayed up all night last night thinking about how demons and humans can get along together!”
“Um, aren’t you also nocturnal now, Maou-sama?”
“Won’t everything be resolved if I and Yuu-chan marry each other?!”
“Someone PLEASE stop this Maou!!”
Dullahan-san’s tsukkomis fall on deaf ears in the wake of Maou-sama’s mind-blowing suggestion.
More like, Dullahan is about the only sane one among the demons.
Let’s all pray for the return of Miraka-san’s predecessor, Grauze-san.
As for the hero, who kind of just got proposed to……
“…… I’m sorry.”
His face is serious. This is a serious rejection. Almost as if to say ‘if you’re gonna joke, keep the topic to being about your boobs alone.’
“…… Don’t reject me with a troubled face I’ll kill yooouuuuu!!”
Maou-sama dashes out.
It seems that Maou-sama won’t allow others to run away from her but she can run away herself.
How unreasonable.
“…… Was that a boke just now?”
“…… Those tears seemed kind of real though.”
“Let’s just leave it as that.”
…… Today, too, the demon realm is at peace.
・
・
・
At the same time, in the Adachi residence.
“It’s morning. Wake up.”
“Telling a vampire to wake up in the morning are you a fiend are you?!”
Grauze-san is burrowed into his blanket like a maimaikaburi beetle while giving ‘the eye’ to the Linbel-san who just barged into the room without knocking.
“Even though Shiina went to the trouble of making breakfast, are you saying you won’t eat it, you fiend?”
“If it’s a meal, then give me blood. Preferably that of a young virgin.”
“Your turn, Mii-chan.”
“I didn’t ask for the blood of a cat!!”
In accordance to Grauze-san’s request, Linbel-san calls over the house cat Mii-chan (turquoise-shell).
It is an inhuman deed that might evoke protests from cat-lovers all over.
“Kuh, to think that I would end up being enslaved by such a woman. All this is the fault of that abhorrent Sun Goddess!”
“Come now, don’t say that. See, this is her compassion.”
“Wha-……?!”
Seeing what Linbel-san has chucked onto his bed, Grauze-san is at a loss for words.
“This is my……!”
“A mountain of prayers to ‘at least return the present from his daughter’ reached Amaterasu-sama. Be grateful to this country’s people and Amaterasu-sama.”
“…… Hmph. Bunch of softies.”
Grauze-san snorts while spouting abusive language.
But still, he seems very happy about the present from his daughter being returned to him, as he reaches out towards the necklace……
“Gihyah?!”
“What happened?!”
……he gets shocked and screams out while convulsing.
“Wh-, why is this happening……?”
“Something must have…… ahh, I get it. It must have become blessed from being with Amaterasu-sama for a while.”
“WHAT?!”
Blessed by the Sun Goddess.
If it is a normal human wearing it, that person’s vitality would have gotten restored at regular intervals. But for Grauze-san the vampire, this would only cause constant damage over time.
A boon has been turned completely into the worst form of harassment.
“…… A-, as if I would lose to something like this!!”
But Grauze-san really loves his daughter.
He clamps a firm hand on the necklace, then swiftly wears it around his neck.
“Won’t, lose…… Miraka…… Daddy is……!”
“…… It’s love alright.”
Linbel-san looks on with eyes of amazem-, more like, eyes of awe at the Grauze-san who willingly suffers torture for the sake of love.
Today, too, Japan is at peace.