Megami Buchigire Chapter 15 - Omoikane Filter (patent pending)

Chapter 15: Omoikane Filter (patent pending)

——About how our chief goddess is a bully.
“Nyuwa—?!”
Noticing this thread subject in a certain BBS site, Amaterasu-sama lets slip a strange voice.
Apparently it was not alright to tear everything away from the defenseless Grauze-san.
Japanese are generally softies who take the side of the oppressed, so it cannot be helped.
—Amaterasu-sama sure was merciless.
—Who is it that said Amaterasu-sama is a gentle god.
—Objection to the above. Have you seen anyone plundered so gently before?
“No, it wasn’t like that, that vampire really was dangerous nano—”
(T/N: Nano is a meaningless thing that kids say at the end of their sentences. In this case, Amaterasu-sama is so flustered that she’s reverted to child speak.)
Amaterasu-sama desperately wants to defend herself, but she’s been banned from posting by Omoikane-sama.
The only thing that Amaterasu-sama can do at this moment is rolling around on the tatami floor in anguish.
“…… What are you doing, Amaterasu-sama?”
“O-, Omoikane.”
The one looking at Amaterasu-sama with an astounded face is a grandpa with a white beard.
He is Omoikane. As the god who symbolizes prudence and wisdom, he is kind of like the strategist in Takamagahara.
Incidentally, it was him who came up with the idea of hosting a feast when Amaterasu-sama holed herself up.
On paper at least, he seems like a pretty funky god.
“There you are looking at anonymous BBS sites again. I keep telling you that their content is 80% memes and mere momentum and so to not mind them.”
“But—”
“Sigh. If you really want to read, at least read one with serious discussion. Like this one, for example.”
Despite his appearance, Omoikane-sama is good with machines He quickly opens another site.
—That vampire was clearly hostile against humans. It seemed that peaceful discussion would have been difficult, so I believe the way Amaterasu-sama and the Prime Minister dealt with the situation was appropriate.
—But was not a Curse of Submission going too far? It’s similar to a Curse of Slavery, is it not?
—That part is under the discretion of Linbel-san, I believe?
Indeed that thread is seriously discussing about vampires and Amaterasu-sama’s power.
However……
“……Are?”
“Mu?”
—Why was Amaterasu-sama in the figure of a young girl?
—I don’t remember this being mentioned in Kojiki nor Nihon Shoki. 1
—There’s no ‘why’ about it, she just is.
—Is it because the threshold of adulthood was earlier back then that she takes on that appearance?
They are serious. Very serious.
But after a certain comment, the atmosphere of the thread has flipped completely.
—Japanese people are all lolicons, so there’s no helping it.
—↑ Such persuasive power.
—More specifically, popular with lolicons. A certain percentage of people overseas treat normal adult Japanese women as lolis.
—In other words, Japan is a country of lolis and lolicons.
—Well either way, Amaterasu-sama is cute, so there’s no problem.
—Indeed Amaterasu-sama is cute.
—Amaterasu-sama moe~
—Moe~
“…… ‘Serious’?”
“……”
Amaterasu-sama stares at Omoikane-sama with reproachful eyes upon witnessing the deplorable state of her country’s BBS sites.
Omoikane-sama purposely avoids Amaterasu-sama’s eyes and whistles nonchalantly.
Today, too, Takamagahara is at peace.
・
・
・
Demon realm.
It’s called the demon realm, but it’s actually just the continent where the demonic race lives.
In this demon realm, it is only recently that a new demon king has been born.
“……”
A woman is sitting listlessly on a lavishly decorated golden throne.
Her hair is red like blood, and there are black horns like that of a bull’s growing above her ears.
Although she’s only sitting there and not doing anything, her entire surroundings is thick with magical power, emitting a pressure that leaves no room for doubt as to her legitimacy as the demon king.
It is one of this demon king’s subordinates, Dullahan, who abruptly approaches.
“Maou-sama! A hero has intruded into the castle.” 2
“Nandeyanen?!”
It is a tsukkomi. Furthermore, in Kansai dialect.
As expected of someone actually from the place. The perfection of her backhand slap can even be described as a form of art. 3
Indeed, despite that appearance, Maou-sama is a Japanese.
When the demon race was summoning a new demon king, for some reason it turned out to be her. Then she was gradually pestered into accepting the office.
As expected of a Japanese, she couldn’t say ‘no’ to the very end.
“I said it, didn’t I?! I said to not fight with the humans! Yet why is the hero here?!”
“We were fighting up to only a few months ago, so maybe they didn’t believe our claim of ceasefire?”
“That’s no good then! For what did I sign the goddamn paper for then?!”
Maou-sama clutches her head and does some enigmatic circular head motion.
The dignity from just now has gone back from whence it came. All that’s present now is an energetic nee-san.
(T/N: Nee-san is in between ojou-san (young lady) and oba-san (middle-aged auntie).)
“I will claim the honor of engaging……”
“I SAID to not fight, you musclebrain!!”
A single slap from Maou-sama buries the cyclops who just spoke up, head first.
As expected of Maou-sama. Even her tsukkomis are lethal.
“Ahh I’m so done. Someone escort that hero here withOUT provoking him. Seriously give me a rest, you guys……”
Maou-sama buries her face in Cerberus’ fur while becoming slightly teary-eyed.
Even the Gatekeeper of Hell is but a mere puppy in Maou-sama’s eyes.
“Escort him, you say…… oi, what’s become of the hero right now?”
“He’s currently hanging his head after falling for the ‘an obvious treasure box in the middle of a trap that turns out to be filled with cypress sticks’ trap that Maou-sama suggested.” 4
“…… We might be too late.”
After that the hero and demon king managed to meet face-to-face, but fighting was avoided due to the hero being super troubled by Maou-sama’s ‘persuasion through tears’ that for some reason eventually turned into an angry tirade.
…… Today, too, the demon realm is at peace.
1 Kojiki and Nihon Shoki (also Nihongi) are known as the oldest historical texts of Japan. The former is more like a compilation of mythology, the latter much more historically accurate. See here for a much more detailed introduction.
2 Maou = Demon King. I will use both interchangeably. Though she is female, I will still use ‘demon king’ because that’s the trope.
3 The comedy genre of manzai (that involves a boke and tsukkomi) is generally said to have originated from the Kansai region of Japan, thus the common misconception that all Kansai people are good at manzai. The most common tsukkomi reaction is to say “Nandeyanen?” (which means “What?” or “Why” in an astonished manner) with a backhand slap. This site has a great introduction.
4 ‘Cypress stick’ (hinoki no bou) is a reference to the recurring weakest equipment in Dragon Quest game sequels. As in, the treasure chest makes the player think there is some great treasure, but it turns out to be crap equips.