Run, Girl (If You Can) Chapter 230 - I Want To Be Normal

Because Keeley had laughed, Aaron wondered if she was okay now. It was a bit of a blow to his ego that she had been laughing because he insulted himself but it still made him feel relieved.
"Will continuing to insult myself make you feel better?" he asked, perfectly serious. He would do it if it helped her cheer up.
She smiled and shook her head. "Better save it for special occasions. It was the element of surprise that got me more than anything. It's not every day you hear a cocky person insult themselves."
"I prefer the term 'confident.'"
Aaron wasn't all that confident in himself anymore either. Once upon a time he had been but that was before he thoroughly screwed up his life and the life of the person who mattered most to him. The only thing he was confident about now was business since he had decades and decades of training and experience.
Keeley rolled her eyes but didn't have a comeback for that so she took another sip of her water. Her hiccups had stopped for the time being but her eyes were still terribly puffy.
"Do you feel better now?" he asked.
"Yeah. Thanks."
She went to go kiss his cheek but since he was turning his head to look for the tissues since she still sounded congested, she caught his lips instead.
His eyes widened and she coughed in embarrassment. "I didn't mean to do that."
"I know."
He would have to be completely oblivious not to know that she didn't want anything to do with him romantically by this point. He had learned how to take a hint.
Out of the blue, Keeley remarked off-handedly, "You know you're the only person I've ever kissed?"
He was so startled he didn't know what to say other than "really?" Someone as sociable and friendly as her…he would have expected her to at least try dating in college since she was clearly over him.
"Yep. I've never been in love with anyone else either. Middle school crushes don't count. Maybe that's why it seems like I'm stuck with you no matter what I do." She sighed and her brow furrowed in frustration. "I really don't get it."
"…get what?"
He was very confused where all of this was coming from and more importantly, where it was going.
She looked at him with a serious expression on her face. "Why both of us were reborn. I was thinking about this earlier. I kind of make sense because I died both young and traumatically…but why you? And why wasn't I reborn early enough to save my family? They died traumatically too!"
She had a point. Why had he been reborn?
Before he knew Keeley had been too, he assumed it was so he could right the things that went wrong between them in their previous life. He thought he was being given a second chance by some divine being to be happy again and make things up to her.
Clearly that wasn't the case because she remembered everything and rightfully resented him for it. So what had been the point?
Other than those few golden years with Keeley before Alistair and Lacy got in the way his life had sucked but he did die naturally. Tons of people led unsatisfying lives but they didn't get reincarnated into a younger version of themselves. He had never heard of anyone else getting a second chance like the two of them did.
"I assumed I was being given a second chance to do things right by you," Aaron said truthfully. "Obviously that didn't work out."
A weary expression crossed her face. "I thought I had the chance to do my life over right…without you. No offense."
"None taken."
He knew where she stood on the matter. It was strange to be having this kind of blunt discussion while she was still sitting in his lap though.
"But it isn't working out," Keeley continued. "It's like some divine intervention keeps shoving us back together. Is it really fair that whatever strange force reincarnated us both expected it to work when I still remember everything?
Another excellent point. Her memories of their past life were definitely more traumatic than his overall. If she had just forgotten everything like he originally thought she had, their relationship would have gotten back on track no problem.
"Maybe it wanted you to know the truth," Aaron said slowly.
She frowned. "I've wondered that too…but still. This whole thing is ridiculous. I'm tired, Aaron. I want to be normal."
It was strange that they were talking about this so candidly but in a way it wasn't strange at all. Keeley couldn't talk about her feelings regarding being reborn with anyone else on earth because they wouldn't believe her. He was the only one who understood it. For better or worse, they were in this together.
"I think you're normal. You went to college, made good friends, and are researching what you always wanted to. How is that not normal?"
She twisted her hands over and over in her lap, not meeting his eyes. It was the most uncomfortable she had looked this entire conversation, even more so than when she accidentally kissed him.
"…whatever I do and no matter how hard I try not to you're always in my head, like one of those annoying commercial jingles."
"Wow, thanks," Aaron said dryly. He couldn't get mad though; he made his bed and he needed to lie in it.
"That came out harsh…I just mean that I don't think that mystical force is going to LET me live my life in peace without you. I'm wondering if fighting against it is even worth it."
Keeley took a deep breath and looked down at her hands.
"Things are different this time. I could live my dream and have my friends and not have to deal with snobby socialites. But is it really fair to either of us? I could give into the madness with the hopes that I'll find peace of mind someday but I don't love you. Would you even be okay with being with me knowing that?"
Did he need to clean out his ears or something? Because it sounded a lot like she just said she was considering the idea of being in a relationship with him. That couldn't be right. Even worded bluntly, there was no way that actually came out of her mouth a second ago.