Run, Girl (If You Can) Chapter 175 - He Really Should Have

Even though he had talked to the light of his life on the phone, Aaron didn't feel any better. It was obvious she had been crying and he knew it was because of him.
So she hated weddings now, did she? Well, she had hated being married and he had no one to blame.
His father and Lacy's schemes had their role to play but ultimately she was miserable because of how he had treated her. Aaron hadn't cared about what she wanted—he hadn't even asked.
Keeley always seemed so surprised when he noticed or remembered things about her. Had he really been so insensitive back then? He supposed he had. It wasn't intentional; he wasn't accustomed to paying attention to the feelings of others.
She had been straightforward ever since they met; he assumed if there was something wrong she would tell him. He wasn't a mind reader. How was he supposed to know how she felt if she never said anything?
Later, after years to think back and agonize over every wrong interaction, Aaron realized that she never said anything because she wanted to prove that she was worthy of the position of Mrs. Hale. She didn't want to be seen as a whiner who couldn't handle it.
If he knew then what he knew now…he would have rather moved them halfway across the world and started over fresh than stayed and dealt with all of those horrible people in New York as soon as they got married. They could have had the time and space to work on their relationship before it was too late.
Back then leaving never even occurred to him. He had been raised to be the future CEO of Hale Investments and that was what he was going to do. That mindset cost him everything in the end. He was the CEO but that was it—he had nothing else.
He still had nothing. Keeley's resentment ran deep.
Aaron's heart clenched remembering her shaky voice. Exactly how many tears had she shed because of him over the years? The memory of her wails on prom night while she was drugged haunted him now that he knew that he was the one she was talking about.
She died thinking he didn't love her. It was made worse by the fact that she still didn't believe it. There had to be a way to convince her that his affection wasn't born from guilt. It had always been there under the surface.
He hadn't been romantic and was never good at expressing himself through words. His actions hadn't been enough either.
What did he ever do for her anyway? Aaron spent a lot of time with her up until work took over his life when they got married but that was about it. She seemed to enjoy herself on those occasions but he knew he was the one benefitting most from having her by his side.
Selfish. He had always been selfish. Every act of concern he showed back then was masked by his gruff words.
Had he even specifically used the phrase 'I love you' at all? He couldn't remember. No wonder she didn't believe him.
Something didn't make sense though. Why would Keeley marry him at all if she didn't believe he loved her? She must have felt love from him at some point even without flowery words.
He tried thinking back. What had convinced her that he loved her in those days? If he knew, he could try and replicate it.
One specific memory came to mind from the fall after they began dating. Keeley had dragged him to an apple orchard an hour away from Boston because she had never been before and thought it would be fun.
Her blonde hair was tied back in a French braid and she wore a red plaid flannel shirt with jeans and sneakers.
Her excitement matched a little kid's on Christmas morning. At the time he had wondered what was so special about picking your own apples but he changed his mind after she made apple crisp with them from scratch.
"Aaron! It looks like there are some good ones on this tree; help me!"
He looked around in confusion. How exactly was he supposed to help her? All of the other ladders were being used.
Noticing the crate on the ground near the tree, Aaron figured that at the very least he could go over and hold it for her. Wordlessly, he held up the crate as she began twisting the apples so their stems would break.
Keeley beamed at him when she noticed the crate and his heart fluttered. She always looked the most beautiful when she smiled with genuine happiness like that.
This continued for about ten minutes until her attention was diverted. "Ooh, there's a huge one up there! I'm going to go get it. Spot me!"
Spot her? What did that mean? He wasn't able to ask because she was too busy climbing into the higher branches of the tree.
"What are you doing?" he asked flatly though his heart was pounding. What if she fell? He might not be able to catch her in time!
"The most gorgeous apple I've ever seen is up here! It'll only take a minute."
Hadn't the sign at the front of the orchard said that tree climbing wasn't allowed? "Get down from there; you're going to get us kicked out."
"Relax, I almost got it," she said confidently.
Aaron didn't like the looks of this. His girlfriend was balancing on a knot on a branch with only one foot as she strained for her prize. He set the crate down and moved closer to the tree.
Keeley reached further and wrapped her hand around the apple right as her foot slipped off the knot. A branch sliced the knee of her jeans open on the way down. It was too sudden for her to even scream.
He lunged forward and caught her around the waist before they both fell to the ground. As she lay partially on top of him she craned her neck to meet his eyes and giggled sheepishly before holding up the apple.
"I got it."
"Only you would risk your life for an apple," he said grouchily. She had scared the living daylights out of him. There were plenty of perfectly good apples within reach.
Her eyes sparkled. "I wouldn't say it was risking my life."
"You still got hurt. It was a stupid thing to do."
Aaron pulled antibiotic cream and adhesive bandages out of his coat pocket. He had gotten used to carrying them around after spending enough time with the overly adventurous walking disaster he loved.
He handed them over to her and averted his gaze. He wasn't so great with blood.
"Aren't I okay though? You were there to catch me," Keeley said as she applied the medicine.
She was banking on that?! What if he had been a second too slow? She could have died!
"You're ridiculous," he grumbled.
She batted her eyelashes dramatically. "Come on, you know you loooove me."
His expression softened and he reached out to tug softly on the end of her braid but didn't say anything. He should have though. He really should have.