Lazy Dungeon Master Chapter 298

My… Secret Plan…
​ “Oi, Kehmaaa, what’re you doing, getting my daughter drunk like that?”
​ “Sorry. She said she was good with alcohol so I prepared some good alcohol for her, but I didn’t think she’d end up dead drunk.”
​ Before me was an empty barrel and a flame dragon laying on its back like a drunkard, as well as a certain salamander as her guardian. Ontentoo, the guardian, appeared when I called for him, thankfully.
​ Looks like the way to defeat dragons from Japanese myths (through alcohol) appears to work in this world too. Hahaha, Japanese myths are this world’s cheats! Just kidding…
​ “… Man, I tried stopping her, but stopping her in her flame dragon form was impossible.”
​ “Yeeeah… Maybe if she were in her human form, but… oh, Kehma, are you stronger than a minotaur?”
​ “No? But wait, why?”
​ “Ah, I was wondering if maybe it would’ve turned out different. Igni’s still stronger than a minotaur even in her human form, after all.”
​ The heck. She could’ve ripped me apart if things went bad, seriously.
​ “Still though, Kehma. What’re you planning now? She’s not gonna wait up till morning, and good luck waking her up, she gets rough.”
​ “… There’s a chance that she’ll be attacked by the hero if she gets rowdy… hmm.”
​ “Should I ask Redra to be a stand-in? Humans shouldn’t be able to tell the difference between them yeah?”
​ “… Red dragons and flame dragons look too different, even for us humans. It wouldn’t work.”
​ “Really? Ah well, guess so. But they act like each other, like their habits. They felt so in sync getting out of their magma bath yesterday, like a real mother daughter duo.”
​ “You’re proud of your wife and daughter, I get it.”
​ Telling me they wipe their bodies off the same way is troubling. In various meanings.
​ … So, what should I do? Should I wait until she wakes up?
​ Or should I call for everyone since they’d probably come in before then?
​ There’s also the fact that the alcohol smell will fade if I wait till she wakes up.
​ Hmmm. I really don’t want to wake up someone when they’re sleeping as peacefully as that, but I guess I have to…?
​ “Alright Ontentoo, you wake her up. I don’t want to get crushed.”
​ “Yeah… well, guess it’s all we can do. Oi, Igni, get up.”
​ Ontentoo shook Igni’s body with his foreleg.
​ Bang.
​ Her tail, thicker than a log, struck Ontentoo.
​ “Ouch, come on. Get up, Igni.”
​ [Ugyaoo… three more… hours…]
​ However, Ontentoo merely caught her tail with his body, not looking jostled at all.
​ Yep, shaking her would’ve been impossible if it were me, let alone taking her tail head on and continuing.
​ I looked at Meat, who was standing beside me… I wonder if she could’ve? No, still, no way. I wouldn’t even want to try it out since it might kill her.
​ “More like, Ontentoo, are you alright?”
​ “This… this is my pride. I gotta show her my dignity as her father.”
​ “Pretty different from your usual then? You’re always so flirty with Redra.”
​ “… Oof… don’t talk about that right now…”
​ Igni turned over, letting out a flame as she breathed out. Even so, Ontentoo continued eagerly trying to wake her up as Meat and I looked on from the corner of the room. We were sitting down with our arms around our knees in front of us just trying to not get in the way.
​ … Igni’s claw marks and breath were starting to cover the boss room’s floor. It was more like a record of Ontentoo’s hardships.
​ Yep. I would’ve been in trouble if Ontentoo weren’t here. Meat and I never would’ve been able to get her up. Would we even leave bones behind if we took one of those breaths?
​ “Hey, won’t this turn into dealing damage to the dungeon core if it goes bad? Are you really okay?”
​ “Shut up! A father won’t die from his adorable daughter tossing in her sleep! I mean yeah my body’s wounds are from her, but… alright just wake up!”
​ [Migyah!?]
​ Being a father’s tough…
​ Bang!
​ Just as I thought that, there was an explosion on Igni’s head that would’ve caused a human’s neck to erupt with something similar to ketchup.
​ [Ueh… that hurt, papa… uuu…]
​ “Alright, you’re up? You got drunk again, are you alright?”
​ [Nn… my head’s pounding… uhh, what was it called…?]
​ “A hangover—oh well. Just hold it back, you gotta run.”
​ [Ummm…. oh, oh yeah, I had to escape, huh?]
​ “Oooi, Kehmaaa! Looks like it’s alright!”
​ Seriously? But there was so much suspense.
​ “Let’s see… alright, Meat. Please get the rope out of your [Storage].”
​ “Yes, Goshujin-sama.”
​ With that, Meat took a collapsible platform cart and rope out of her [Storage].
​ It’d be great if we could bind Igni up in the rope directly, but…
​ Thinking about it, Igni shouldn’t be able to move, so we have to put her on the platform cart first… and Meat and I couldn’t lift her giant body.
​ … I’m also worried about the thing’s weight limit. Rather, can I even pull her outside on it? Maybe Wataru could manage it somehow?
​ “Igni, please get on the platform cart. Your body’s way too heavy for us to carry.”
​ [Aaah, oooh? I’ll just… go to my human form…]
​ “Oh, no, just ride it normally—”
​ Igni went to her human form as she spoke. It was the little dragon-human form I saw when I met her.
​ “Fuaaah… ‘kay, niiiight…”
​ Saying that, she curled herself up on the cart and fell asleep. Without changing back into a dragon.
​ “… Umm. Ontentoo, is this okay…?”
​ “Heck if I know… probably not?”
​ Ontentoo tried tapping her on the head, but Igni didn’t even stir.
​ “… Looks like it’d take a while to get her up this time.”
​ “Yeah…”
​ “Should I ask Redra to substitute in after all?”
​ “No way, that definitely wouldn’t work.”
​ What should I do?
​ Just then, Meat opened her mouth.
​ “… Goshujin-sama. How about calling in Ichika and the others as is?”
​ “As is, you mean… like how she is now? With her looking like a girl sleeping on a cart?”
​ “Yes… I think… I think her strength is obvious just by looking at her. She is a true dragon. And, well, Wataru is naïve, so…”
​ I see, I get what Meat’s wanting to say.
​ Wataru is naïve. That is, he couldn’t even find it in himself to take down Rin—the black wolf that occupied our dungeon for a time—because it could talk.
​ And this is a young girl that looks like a human. There’s no way he’d just suddenly kill her.
​ He’ll probably say something about wanting to negotiate when she wakes up. Heck, I’ll say it if Wataru somehow doesn’t.
​ Then we can just have Igni surrender and run off…
​ “… Can you really see how strong she is just by sight? She just looks dead drunk to me though?”
​ “Wataru definitely will. Gozoh, Roppu, and Ichika will too, probably.”
​ I can’t see how, but they’ll probably see it if Meat says they will.
​ “Hmm, well, in that case, Igni probably won’t die.”
​ “So it’s good? In that case, I’m going to head back. Kehma, I’ll leave the rest to you yeah?”
​ Saying that, Ontentoo got up and moved to leave as he struck my shoulder?, but I called out for him to stop.
​ “Hold up, Ontentoo… there’s still something I’m worried about. There’s a possibility that Igni might say something when she wakes up…”
​ “… Yeah… Kehma, you should be able to come up with something, yeah?”
​ “Depending on the situation, sure, but I’d like to prepare a little… help, Ontentoo.”
​ “If it’s for my daughter, nothing’s too expensive, what do you need?”
​ “Please prepare a trap that’ll hit her with something to keep her from speaking, a switch activated kind. And just in case there’s an emergency, I—”
​ I held a preparatory meeting with Ontentoo (for the second time that day) before I called Wataru and the others in.
​ … Seriously, this isn’t going to plan at all. Sheesh.