Living With a Temperamental Adonis: 99 Proclamations of Love Chapter 1046 Paper Note 3

That period at the hospital had been dry and boring, but it had also been the most peaceful period of his life. Until now, he had not thought about how sincere he had been then. He had really been that close to falling in love with her.
He admitted that he cared about Tang Nuan, but more honestly, his love was more toward the memory of the girl who shared the book club with him during his youth rather than Tang Nuan herself.
He admitted that he had once thought that he was in love with Song Song, but looking back, he might have misconstrued a love between family as romantic love. He would give up everything for her, but he never thought about asking for anything back from her.
But the kind of feeling Cheng Qingchong gave him at the time?
Around her, he felt like this was a person he could spend the rest of his life with.
His whole life, that was a term that stretched across a wide expanse of time. When he was pursuing Tang Nuan, he didn't think he had told her that he would love her forever. When Song Song agreed to marry him, it also didn't cross his mind to keep her by his side for life. But he was interested in spending his whole life with Cheng Qingchong.
At the time, he really thought he had found a girl whom he could spend the rest of his life with.
At the time, he accepted that Song Song had found herself a life of happiness. He could finally move on and carry on with his life.
Even though, at the time, he wasn't sure how his feeling was actually towards her, he really did look forward to their future together.
That beautiful future that he'd seen was all a mirage.
Their marriage was a sham from the very beginning. The tears that he had shed for his unborn child were nothing but a waste…
The woman that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with only came to be with him for the sake of another man.
Who wouldn't be angry? At the time, Qin Yinan had been filled with hatred; he hadn't hated someone so deeply in his life before.
Naturally, he couldn't let her off so easily. He needed to make sure she tasted the same bitter medicine that she gave him, to raise her up to heavens just so he could kick her down to hell. Therefore, he was so kind to her, so extra-ordinarily kind, while he looked on with a detached eye as she fell step by step into his trap. All he was feeling then was wicked anticipation and mocking derision.
Now, he finally got his wish—the wicked woman with a black heart and a mouthful of lies had finally disappeared from his life with bruises that he inflicted all over her body.
He had won. He should have been happy…
But he didn't feel glad. It was one thing when he didn't see, but he would lose control whenever he met her.
He was such a nice guy… so why would he be so influenced by her?
Right then, he realized when he was leading her step-by-step into the trap, he too had fallen into the trap himself.
Perhaps his heart had known the truth since the very beginning, but he had refused to face it because he was afraid, afraid that he might feel regret for the many things that he had done. Thus, he powered on without thought. Now, when the woman had left the city, he finally collapsed.
All along, it wasn't Cheng Qingchong who was acting stubborn—it was him.
What he wanted was not what he expected. He couldn't accept this contrast; he couldn't cross that last line in his heart.
Song Qingchun loved Su Zhinian. He was envious, but he didn't mind as he even sincerely wished that they could spend the rest of their lives happily together.
But Cheng Qingchong loved Su Zhinian—that he minded a lot… He cared about that more than anybody else. He couldn't accept the fact that she had made use of him for the sake of another man. He thought it was because of his pride, but now, he realized, at the time, he was being jealous.