Vol 2, Ch 66.3: The [Eavesdropper (advanced)]’s strange tales
TL: flarewk
[Eavesdropper (advanced)]’s strange tales:
During the Qing Ming holidays, I invited Xiao’ Hua and Ah’ Ying out to go out shopping.
Actually, the shopping was secondary. My primary aim is to comfort Xiao’ Hua, hoping that she’ll be able to give up on those nonsensical thoughts, and being able to properly relax herself.
However, the main character for today, Xiao’ Hua, had an appearance of being in melancholy.
In the past, Xiao’ Hua loved to go shopping a lot, and would always buy many trendy outfits. It’s due to her being very sensitive towards the current trend, hence, her attire would be very pretty as well.
But today, she spent a huge portion of the time being blanked out, and when I talked to her, she would then dumbly give out a response.
What had happened already?
She seemed to be like this starting from last Friday? As expected, was it because of her confession failing that caused her to be in such a listless state……….Mm, are there any ideas in order to cheer her up? If not, how about I just ask that An Jun Cheng to meet us here?
“Eehh, eehh, you guys walk slower a little………it’s slightly too fast for me to catch up already……….”
“Really, not even being able to handle this sort of small walking distance, your body is really too weak already!”
I’m still thinking on how to cheer Xiao’ Hua up, so don’t cause trouble for me along the sidelines already, okay!
“It’s you this tomboy who forcibly dragged me out here, alright……….plus, there’s not a single boy who thinks that accompanying girls out for shopping will be relaxing!”
“Humph, accompanying two beautiful girls shopping, are you still not content?”
“You guys merely wanted me here to do all the heavylifting!”
“Tch, look at that skinny weak frame of yours, always neeting around at home, now you’ve become all skins and bones already! It’s a perfect chance to help us carry stuff, as well as being able to work out your body too, isn’t that very wholesome?”
“I’d rather neet at home to play video games though……….”
“It’s because that you’re like this, which is why you didn’t have a girlfriend!”
“Must you care! Nosy girl!”
“What! Did! You! Say!”
Under my rage, I grasped Ah’ Liang’s collars as I forcefully shook him about.
He frantically pressed onto his spectacles, with his mouth gaped as he cried out madly.
“Waaaah! Let go of me! You crazy bitch! Violent woman! Dinosaur girl! Waaaaaaaaaah! Stop shaking me already! I’m, I’m about to vomit already………..urrrkkh……….”
“Vomit your head!”
Without even thinking, I nonchalantly grabbed a bunch of tissue papers from my purse bag and stuffed it into his mouth.
“Now let’s see how you’re going to vomit!”
With the result that Ah’ Liang used a look of almost wanting to cry as he pointed towards his mouth while making ‘UuuUUu’ noises.
It’s so comical, he’s just like a mute.
“UuuU! UuuUUuUuu!”
Mn? Why was he looking at me like that? What’s he pointing towards? Looking at the direction of where he was pointing at, I glanced towards my bag……….and noticed that the tissue papers were still unmovingly placed within my bag.
Huh? Then the thing that was being stuffed inside Ah’ Liang’s mouth was……….my sanitary pad?!
Kyaaaaaaa!
“Hurry up and spit it out! You pervert!”
I ferociously issued out a chop onto his neck, causing the sanitary pad which was stuck inside his throat to be ejected out.
“Cough cough! Cough cough cough cough cough! urrkkh………Uuuu………purgh………”
After Ah’ Liang gave a few vigorous coughs, he expelled the sanitary pad out from his mouth and exclaimed out while crying and touching his own neck.
That wasn’t a real instance of crying already, but just tears that were squeezed out due to dry vomiting.
“Waah! You’re so unreasonable! It’s you who also stuffed it in eyy, eehh……….that has not been used before, right……….”
“It’s! Not! Being! Used! Before!”
How could I carry around a used sanitary pad inside my bag! Don’t you this idiot even think about that for a moment! Speaking of which, you actually hoped that it was a used sanitary pad, huh! Pervert! Pervert! Sick pervert!
“Eeeeehhh……….I’m, going to, die already……….”
It’s really so infuriating! Damned skinny neet! It’s all your fault!
Only knowing how to stay at home the whole day playing games, still saying that he wanted to be like that god of conquest, conquering every female characters from bishoujo games and whatnot……….is he crazy! And it’s too crazy already!
Such a lively active girl like me is right by your sides, yet you still want to go conquer those virtual girls…?!
Speaking of which, that certain god of conquest whom you’re devoted to, he also conquered girls in real life as well right, can’t you learn about this aspect from him?
Can’t you place more of your thoughts onto me! You dense moron!
You’re rather sensitive towards the matters about others, even matching up quite a few couples as well, but why can’t you just first consider about yourself!
Still even saying that you’re a what, FFF inquisition member, and would definitely not betray your companions……….are you an idiot!
What’s exactly being stored inside your brain!! Do you think that a 30 year old who still preserved his virginity would truly be able to learn magic?! Let me tell you! It’s simply impossible!
If you really want to learn magic, can’t you just simply go look for that idiotic empty-headed Meng Fa! Although after learning, you’ll also turn out to be an idiot as well……….
I couldn’t say out these words to him.
Hence, I could only silently scream them out within my heart.
“Um, Xiao’ Ying, I think that Xiao’ Liang is not going to make it anymore……….”
“Uuu?”
After regaining back to my senses, I then noticed that Ah’ Liang was like a dead corpse, twitching while his head tilted sideways with white foams being ejaculated out from his mouth.
I hastily gave him two slaps to the face, before finally hoisting him back from death’s retrieval.
After a short interval, Ah’ Liang who had restored back to his self rubbed onto his neck, while fearfully giving me a glare as he spoke.
“There’ll be a day when I’ll be played to my death by the hands of this tyrant woman……….”
“Humph! That is your blessing!”
Eyy……….why when I speak to him everytime, I will always unresistingly use this kind of overly fierce tone……….
Me and Xiao’ Hua are equally the same, in that aspect with regards to love……….
“Ahaha………the relationship between you two is sure good.”
Xiao’ Hua upon seeing us who were bickering about, suddenly gave off a chuckle.
And it was even the first time that she had laughed out today too.
“Nonono, I only have a good relationship with Xiao’ Hua~, but as for a certain dinosaur girl, don’t even mention about it being positive, it’s simply just malicious to the ends already! You saw it just now too, right, I’ve nearly died under her hands!”
“Heh heh, but I’m quite envious of you two, hm? Even during arguments……….others aren’t able to intervene in between you two.”
Xiao’ Hua gave off a smile a little forlornly, while Ah’ Liang pushed up his spectacles as he maintained silence. Feeling that the atmosphere had turned to become a little awkward, I hastily changed the conversation, saying towards Ah’ Liang.
“Having two female childhood friends that are as pretty as flowers, it’s your blessing accumulated from your previous lifetime!”
“Yeahyeahyeah……….”
Humph, so nonchalant, he really deserves a beating.
But, Xiao’ Hua’s feelings seemed to have turned way much better, so I’ll then seize upon this chance, to tell her some of those stories that I have ‘heard onto’!
Just like that, I dragged Xiao’ Hua and Ah’ Liang into a cafeteria and ordered a pot of fruit tea, having the appearance of a storyteller as I readied myself to narrate stories to them.
Such a storytelling session like this, it’s been conducted numerous times ever since the three of us were small, with I being the storyteller, and they being the listeners. The stories that I narrated were never ever repeated, and if they were being compiled, perhaps they could result in quite a few volumes already, but on the contrary, my storytelling techniques had become even and even more adept.
Even if I was being asked to conduct a solitary comedy skit in front of a live audience, I probably would be able to narrate out extremely vividly, hee~
Taking off my headphones and hanging it onto my neck, I recited out the introduction which was just with the same as all along.
“I’ll first deliver out a disclaimer; all of these are stories that I’ve heard from others. These are strange tales, originating from rumors and gossips, and although it may possess a certain level of credibility in them, don’t trust it wholly as well, hmm?”
“Yeaahh, always acting out to be so mysterious every single time……….enough baiting us already, hurry up and say it.”
“Don’t interrupt! I’m about to start too!”
After giving a smack to Ah’ Liang’s head, I cleared my throat and begun today’s tale.
“The theme today is………urban legends!”
Xiao’ Hua seemingly had a little bit of interest onto it, as she cooperatively queried.
“Urban legends?”
“Mm, urban legends!”
I used a crisp clear voice while saying it out a little pleasedly.
“Did you know? That in this city, there are all sorts and kinds of urban legends?”
“Like what? The black jacket motorcycle riding headless knight who wore a helmet with cat ears on it while cruising the night?”
“I said already to not interrupt me! And don’t bring stuff in anime into reality!”
“Tch………aren’t they equally just as untrue too……….”
“Humph, the urban legend that I’m about to say this time, it all had factual evidence in it~!”
“Oh?”
Heh heh, these were gossips that I’ve secretly heard from those people in class. The urban legends that I’ve summarized out from them were true on a 8 to 9 out of 10 scale!
“Mm, the urban legend that I’m about to speak this time, because the contents of it is vast, with many complexed varieties of it, and will very possibly be a long stretch of tale, I thus prepared it into different genres, to tell it out one-by-one.”
The amount of information contained from within the conversations of those people in class weren’t to be taken lightly at all, as arranging out and summarizing the concatenation of events regarding those incidents from their talks took me quite an amount of effort onto me.
And it’s because of that stroke of luck, that my storypouch which was originally almost about to be emptied were being fully filled up already.
Well, today I’ll begin narrating starting from ‘location’ then~
“What I’m about to say for today, is those mysterious locations that are concealed within the city, which no one knows about!”
“Mysterious location?”
“Mm……….have you guys, heard of ‘Black Street’?”
“‘Black Street’ is being referred to those unlawful streets, right? SAVAGE STREET, it seems to be interpreted as such, pointing to those streets where the arms of the law is not able to reach, and is completely full of tyranny and mafia pressure.”
Ah’ Liang flicked his nose, saying it out with an aura of complete confidence.
Oh? Stupid neet now came to show off that useless tiny knowledge of his already? Heh heh, a pity, he guessed wrong!
“A pity, it’s not at all~”
“Eh?”
“The full english term for that street is BLACK TECH STREET~, and it’s true meaning is pointing towards ‘A street with black technology’, or simply known as ‘Black Street’.”
“Ha?! What the hell is that!”
Ah’ Liang gave off a strange cry as he tumbled his spectacles about in surprise, while Xiao’ Hua very clear-headedly continued to ask.
“Then for this street, does it have any difference when compared to a normal one?”
It’s here, it’s here, now Xiao’ Hua’s attention have been piqued by me~
“The most amazing thing about this street……….is its ability to interlink every corner of the entire city~!”
“Isn’t that just do*aemon’s anywhere door……….”
“It’s slightly different, you can use the anywhere door anytime you want, but as for Black Street……….it only depends on fate. Because, you simply won’t know where its exact location is!”
After finished listening to my explanation, Ah’ Liang immediately flipped a white eye as he gave off an exasperated rebuttal.
“What the heck! So after half a day of talk, it’s just a street that’s basically not even existent at all!”
“No, Black Street is a street that’s very possible for it to be truly present! And there’s even quite a few people who have went inside of it already!”
“Uuu, but then that doesn’t make sense at all, Xiao’ Ying. If there are people who had truly once went inside of Black Street, then why do those people not know where its exact position was?”
“About that………I’ll still need to talk about those group of people as well.”
Purposefully shrouding it amidst secrecy, I leisurely finished drinking the fruit tea inside of my cup before continuing to speak.
“Legends say, that there’s a certain group of people in this city, that as long as you pay them, they will take upon the role of anything. Plus, their acting skills will be so absolutely flawless, to the point where normal people simply won’t be able to tell it out!”
“What kind of urban legend is that supposed to be……….isn’t that just crowd actors……….”
“Nono, those actors aren’t there for film recordings, they’re just merely acting.”
“Is there any difference to that……….”
“The differences lies in……….’acting towards whoever’ to see.”
“Eh………?”
“And next up will be the most important part already~, rumors say, that all of the passerbys in Black Street are these very same crowd actors~”
“What!”
“Hehee, shocking right? That is why those people who had mistakenly went inside Black Street didn’t feel anything strange about it at all, because they themselves didn’t even know that they had entered inside ‘Black Street’, but merely thought that they had entered a normal street! And when they had walked out of Black Street afterwards, arriving at the other end of the city, they will then realize, ahh, so I’ve been through Black Street just earlier!”
“Woah, this………”
“That’s why, no one knows on where exactly Black Street is……….how is it? Very interesting, right~”
“Mm……….extremely boring.”
“What! You dared to say that my stories are boring!”
“No, what I meant is that the person who created this sort of street is extremely lame! There’s no meaning to it at all! Even hiring a huge bunch of people to be crowd actors, is there really a need?”
“About this……….muu, being existent will mean that it’s legitimate, and in any case, there will definitely be a reason for it to be in existence~”
About on what Black Street was being exactly used for, even if you had asked me, I also had no clue to as well, as I didn’t hear onto the usage with regards to it.
As anyway, my story thus concludes here already.