Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food Chapter 148 - Banana Flavored Boss Gong (8)

Chapter 148 - Banana Flavored Boss Gong (8)

Translated by Hua Li ^_~
A three-headed serpent with vertical pupils.
This was the first subterranean beast they had encountered, capable of hiding and moving underground, even evading satellite detection.
The group retreated to a defensive position, keeping a safe distance. As they finally took in the full form of the three-headed serpent beast, their expressions changed drastically.
Zhou Gao spat out dirt and cursed, “Damn, what an abomination!”
The serpent’s hide wasn’t smooth. Instead, it was covered in tough black scales. It had no eyes, and its wedge-shaped heads resembled crocodile snouts, filled with razor-sharp teeth. Only the middle head had a tongue, constantly flicking out while the other two made hissing, crocodile-like growls.
Though ferocious in appearance, the serpent didn’t immediately attack.
“It’s searching for something,” Gou Liang said as he quickly typed data into his computer. “It doesn’t have eyes, but its growls carry a peculiar frequency—it’s probably looking for something it can resonate with.”
“And it seems to have three beast cores, all located about a third of the way down each neck. Its energy transmission structure is entirely different from any beast we’ve seen before!”
Gou Liang, with his ability to see what others couldn’t, showed no fear of the monstrous creature before him. Instead, he spoke with excitement.
Shi Buyu pulled him behind, worried, and gave Jiang Ren, who was in charge of Gou Liang’s safety, a stern look. “Keep an eye on him.”
He was truly concerned that Gou Liang’s excitement would drive him to run up and have a chat about life with the beast.
Jiang Ren glanced at Gou Liang, whose small eyes behind his glasses were practically glowing, and nodded in agreement.
Gou Liang stared intently at the three-headed serpent, continuing to input data while muttering, “There’s another energy mass in its belly. I think this is a pregnant female beast. If so, this will be the first beast cub we’ve ever captured! Shi Xiaoyu, make sure you don’t kill it later!”
“Alright.”
Shi Buyu chuckled at Gou Liang’s eagerness.
Suddenly, Gou Liang noticed the serpent’s energy flow intensifying. “It’s about to attack! Be careful!”
Shi Buyu shot a look at Jiang Ren to ensure Gou Liang’s safety, then issued orders. “Yu Sen, stay alert. Zhou Gao, take the left. Yu Lin, the right. Qin Bei, take center. I’ll defend. Don’t push yourselves.”
“Yes, Major General!”
They responded just as the serpent lunged at them, jaws wide, moving with lightning speed.
Worse still, its scales were incredibly tough. Neither Zhou Gao’s fire, Yu Lin’s ice spikes, nor Qin Bei’s wind blades could pierce its body. They didn’t even scratch the scales.
Zhou Gao, still carrying his submachine gun, fired a few rounds, which merely bounced off, confirming their suspicions.
“Damn it! It’s invincible! Why burrow underground? Go fly or something!”
“Boss, it’s all up to you now!”
Realizing their abilities were no match for the serpent, the group ceased their futile attacks and handed the fight over to Shi Buyu.
Wielding his sword, Shi Buyu charged forward. His lightning ability naturally intimidated the beast, allowing him to land a few strikes, leaving wounds on the serpent’s body.
Sensing a threat to its life, the middle head let out an ear-piercing scream.
“It’s going berserk!”
Gou Liang had just sounded the warning when the middle head spewed molten lava.
Shi Buyu dodged, but suddenly, the serpent’s left and right heads detached from its body and shot toward Gou Liang, who was completely unprepared for this turn of events.
“Xiao Keng’er!”
Shi Buyu, acting purely on instinct, summoned lightning to incinerate one of the heads, but the other head lunged at Gou Liang at breakneck speed!
Jiang Ren quickly formed a metallic shield, but the snake’s jaws shattered it instantly. The third head closed in from behind.
At the last second, Gou Liang kicked Jiang Ren aside and, with lightning speed, dodged the double-headed attack. “They’re after Jiang Ren!” he shouted as he sprinted toward Yu Sen and Zhou Gao’s position, covering a thousand meters in the blink of an eye.
“Shi Xiaoyu, don’t kill the one inside its belly!”
Shi Buyu, who had just destroyed the second detached head, halted his attack in time, driving his sword through the final head’s weak point and extracting its beast core.
The massive body of the three-headed serpent collapsed to the ground.
In the next moment, Gou Liang was the first to appear beside Shi Buyu. A gust of wind, stirred by Gou Liang’s incredible speed, kicked up dust that plastered Shi Buyu’s face just as he heard Gou Liang’s urgent voice: “Quick, quick! Forget the beast core—let’s give it a C-section!”
Covered in dust, Shi Buyu: “…”
The stunned Jiang Ren and the others: “…”
This speed demon can’t be the same fat guy!
Gou Liang, oblivious to having exposed his deception of pretending to be slow so Shi Buyu would carry him, was too excited as he urged Shi Buyu to slice open the beast’s belly. As soon as Shi Buyu made the cut, Gou Liang dashed back to the vehicle, returning with an incubation box, into which he placed the baby serpent that Shi Buyu pulled out.
The tiny creature, only as long as a human arm, had a single head and no scales. As soon as it was placed into the incubation box, its silver-white skin began turning red, and it curled up in apparent pain.
Gou Liang peered into the serpent’s belly, ready to reach in, but Shi Buyu quickly stopped him.
“What are you looking for?”
“There’s definitely something metallic inside. Open it up.”
Shi Buyu fully opened the serpent’s stomach, revealing chunks of black metal matching the scales.
Gou Liang placed one of the metal pieces into the incubation box. The baby serpent immediately coiled around the rectangular chunk, its skin returning to normal, and it settled down peacefully.
“No wonder it wanted to eat Jiang Ren. The baby serpent’s got quite the picky diet.”
Gou Liang tapped the glass box, holding the little serpent close.
Shi Buyu quickly took the box from him and handed it to Yu Sen. “Be careful.” Even though it was a cub, they couldn’t underestimate its potential danger.
At that moment, Zhou Gao and Jiang Ren finally managed to dig out two beast cores from the severed snake heads. Despite their decapitation, the heads had continued thrashing for a while, kicking up a cloud of dust.
Shi Buyu was about to inspect their work when Gou Liang grabbed his hand. “I want to come too.”
Shi Buyu stared down at him for three long seconds before saying, “Walk by yourself.”
By now, Shi Buyu was no longer naive enough to believe Gou Liang’s act of moving slowly. This was the apocalypse; using old-world logic to judge people was foolish.
Gou Liang, covered in dust, adjusted his glasses and silently grabbed Shi Buyu’s sleeve, looking up at him with a pitiful expression.
Shi Buyu: “…”
With a sigh, Shi Buyu gently patted Gou Liang’s rear and hoisted him onto his back. “Try tricking me again, and I won’t let you touch me for three days.”
“No way!”
Gou Liang instantly wrapped his arms around Shi Buyu’s neck in protest.
“No way? Well, it’s happening.” Shi Buyu, with his sweet burden on his back, squeezed Gou Liang’s backside in a warning. “Now, tell me—will you do it again?”
“…No.”
“No?”
“I really won’t.”
Only then did Shi Buyu smile. “If you need something, just tell me directly. No need to play tricks, got it?”
“Got it!”
Gou Liang happily planted a kiss on Shi Buyu’s ear.
While they were being showered with this mouthful of dog food, the others, standing around covered in dust, felt both exasperated and speechless: Boss, where are your principles?!
As Qin Bei stored the beast cores in a vacuum container, he used his wind ability to clear some of the dust. “Teacher Tang, what kind of creature is this thing? How can its head and body separate like that?!”
The scene had been so unexpected.
If not for Shi Buyu’s overwhelming power and Gou Liang’s quick reaction, both Jiang Ren and Gou Liang could have been in serious danger.
Having been set down, Gou Liang answered, “I suspect this beast isn’t a single three-headed serpent but rather three conjoined snake-like creatures. We’ll need to investigate further.”
After resting for a while, the group began stripping the serpent’s scales—metallic and capable of resisting abilities, they would make excellent defensive material.
Under Gou Liang’s direction, Shi Buyu’s team removed all the black metal from the mother serpent’s belly and processed the beast’s meat.
Comparing the scales and metal chunks, Gou Liang was amazed. “The metal and scales are identical in composition.”
“If I’m right, this isn’t a single three-headed serpent, but rather a pair of male and female snake creatures.”
“Look here, where the three are joined. This should be the female’s reproductive cavity. These metal blocks are likely the scales from the lower bodies of the male snakes. Earlier, when the mother serpent sprayed molten acid at Shi Xiaoyu, that was some kind of secretion used to melt the scales and solidify them into blocks, which the cubs would then need to survive.”
“Wow, this mother snake has it easy! Not only does she get to enjoy the attention of two males, but once the cubs are born, those two males won’t survive!” Zhou Gao exclaimed, clicking his tongue. “It’s true what they say—nothing’s more ruthless than a woman’s heart.”
“Stop making stuff up.”
Qin Bei scolded Zhou Gao for exaggerating. “In the animal kingdom, it’s common for females to eat males to reproduce. This is nothing new. Besides, the mother snake sacrifices plenty. Look at those hard scales and… um, just imagine the size of the, uh, appendage. How’s that supposed to fit? It’s insane.”
Yu Sen, disturbed by the graphic image, shuddered. “Thank goodness humans aren’t like that.”
Shi Buyu chuckled, “You three don’t even have anyone to give you kids, and here you are worrying about stuff like this.”
Yu Lin snickered, “Exactly. You guys are too much. Our captain’s not even worried, so why are you?”
Zhou Gao said, “Well, it’s different for the captain. He doesn’t have to think about that.”
“How would you know? Who knows, with how things are now, men might be able to have kids too.”
Before Yu Lin could finish his sentence, Shi Buyu kicked him. “If someone’s going to have a kid, it’s not going to be my Teacher Tang. No way I’d let him suffer through that.”
Gou Liang adjusted his glasses, holding back a laugh. “I believe we weren’t discussing whether men can have children.”
The group paused before bursting into laughter.
*
After sharing the data on the serpent-like creature with Jiuzhu Base, Gou Liang decided to keep the cub nearby for observation before sending it to the base later.
The researchers, having no clue about the growth of beast cubs, were more than happy with this arrangement.
Gou Liang’s team then resumed their journey southward. Though they encountered a few more unfamiliar beasts not listed in Jiuzhu’s database, none of them posed as significant a threat as the serpent. It was a relatively smooth journey.
However, after Gou Liang revealed his exceptional physical capabilities—sprinting like the wind and showing extraordinary strength—Shi Buyu added him to the daily training regimen.
Though he didn’t mention it, Shi Buyu took the earlier attack by the serpent-like creature very seriously.
He realized that no matter how powerful his abilities were, there were still countless unpredictable, uncontrollable variables in life-or-death situations. Their knowledge of beasts was barely scratching the surface. Who could guarantee that next time, Gou Liang would get away so easily?
While Gou Liang’s awakened ability wasn’t offensive, it was crucial to train him in survival skills and combat awareness.
So Shi Buyu didn’t hold back, making Gou Liang’s training even more rigorous than Yu Sen and the others who were self-disciplined.
At that moment, Gou Liang was desperately dodging the talons of a Black Hawk beast.
Having completed their training, Zhou Gao and the others sat on the roof of the car, casually watching Gou Liang’s plump body narrowly escape the razor-sharp claws, using the dramatic scene as entertainment.
After seeing so many life-and-death moments, it wasn’t as shocking as before.
“Boss is too hard on Teacher Tang.”
Qin Bei took a bite of crispy roasted beast meat, watching Gou Liang’s desperate struggle while eating. “Think about it—Teacher Tang has to develop all these programs, compile data, cook for us, and now train? It’s harsh.”
“Yeah, the boss doesn’t know how to take care of his wife.”
Zhou Gao said, “Even if they’re not married yet, you can’t treat someone like that. He works hard all day, and when the boss gets in the mood at night, Teacher Tang still has to serve him. It’s messed up.”
Even Jiang Ren, who rarely spoke, gave a small nod of agreement.
Yu Sen chimed in seriously, “Don’t be so hard on the captain. He’s got it tough too.”
“Ha ha ha!” Yu Lin burst out laughing. “Oh, my dear brother! Can’t you smell the jealousy radiating from all these single dogs? These guys only dare to talk big when the boss is too distracted with Teacher Tang to notice them.”
Zhou Gao grunted in disagreement. “Like you’d have the guts to say any of this to the boss’s face.”
“I don’t have the guts, but at least I’m not jealous.”
Yu Lin shrugged. “I used to think I had it good—retired from the army with a lieutenant colonel medal, pulling in a million a year working for the captain’s family. Thought I was pretty elite, but somehow I still couldn’t get married. Now I see that’s for the best. If I’d had a family before the apocalypse, who knows if I’d have survived?”
Before the apocalypse, they’d been assigned high-risk missions, operating in gray zones beyond the reach of normal life. Even after leaving the army, they’d undergone years of psychological counseling, unable to fully adapt to a peaceful, civilian lifestyle.
That’s why, despite being in their forties, both Zhou Gao and Yu Sen were still single.
But the truth was, they adapted better to the apocalypse than they ever had to civilian life.
Bringing up this topic cast a slight gloom over the group.
But before long, Shi Buyu returned, having dealt with the Black Hawk beast, carrying a soaked-through Gou Liang on his back.
Jiang Ren silently went to clean up the beast’s carcass. Gou Liang placed back in his spot, hugged his water bottle, and gulped it down, his eyes fixed on the table full of beast meat.
Shi Buyu chuckled, immediately slicing off the tenderest pieces of meat to feed Gou Liang after he finished hydrating.
Yu Lin remarked, “Boss, I think Teacher Tang’s lost a lot of weight. Losing too much weight too fast isn’t healthy. We should be careful.”
“Yeah,” Zhou Gao, ever tactless, blurted out, “Even if he’s a bit stiff in bed right now, boss, you can’t rush things—uh, no, I didn’t mean you don’t like him that way, Teacher Tang. I didn’t mean—please believe me!”
Five pairs of eyes turned to Zhou Gao, who instantly realized what he’d said and scrambled to explain himself.
Unfortunately for him, Gou Liang wasn’t buying it.
He bit his water bottle and slowly turned his gaze toward Shi Buyu.
Shi Buyu, eager to prove his sincerity, immediately started feeding Gou Liang more tender meat. “Come on, Teacher Tang, have another bite. You’re perfect the way you are. I love every bit of you—don’t you dare lose any weight. It’d break my heart.”
Gou Liang took a bite, then another, slowly working through three mouthfuls before casually asking, “What did he mean by ‘stiff in bed’?”
“Uh…”
Shi Buyu was stumped. Faced with Gou Liang’s earnest expression, he had no way of explaining.
Gou Liang pushed up his glasses and said, “According to my calculations, given your arm strength, waist strength, leg length, and size, even if I were twice as big, you’d still be able to move freely in bed. So does it really matter if I’m stiff?”
Shi Buyu: Huh??
Everyone else: !!!
Jiang Ren, who had just returned carrying the Black Hawk beast: … I leave for one moment, What kind of crap did these singles with their heads full of pornographic waste instill into the pure and upright Teacher Tang?!
Despite all of Shi Buyu’s efforts in feeding the soft, chubby Gou Liang, the intense training regimen still caused Gou Liang to shed weight rapidly—from being unrecognizable due to his plump face to gradually showing some of his features.
Qin Bei remarked, “They say every fat person has hidden potential. Looks like the boss hit the jackpot.”
Zhou Gao, not learning his lesson, blurted out, “Don’t celebrate too early! Given how the Tang family looks, maybe Teacher Tang is better off staying chubby.”
Everyone stared at him silently: Zhou, could you be any more tactless?
Zhou Gao might have had a quick mouth, but he wasn’t wrong.
No matter how many beautiful wives the Tang men married, the dominant Tang genes always won out. The men in the family were rather plain-looking.
When Gou Liang created a model of the original host’s slimmed-down face, he immediately discarded the idea of using it. Instead, he inputted his own appearance into the upgraded “super-attractive” tool.
He warned the system: If it dared to shortchange him again as it did with his height, he would quit right then and there, mission be damned!
The system whimpered in response.
The “super-attractive” plan had already been set in motion. Based on Gou Liang’s current level of physical activity, it was expected that within a year, he would return to his stunningly handsome true self.
But surprises often come unexpectedly.
That day, as Gou Liang was playfully squeezing heart-shaped spicy sauce onto a beast core to feed Shi Buyu, Yu Sen, without any warning, suddenly slumped off his chair.
Yu Lin, quick on his feet, caught him. “Teacher Tang, my brother—”
Before he could finish his sentence, he also collapsed.
Gou Liang grabbed Shi Buyu’s arm and said calmly, “Don’t worry. They’re leveling up. It’ll probably take around twenty-four hours.”
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, moved the two brothers to bed, and began devouring beast cores themselves, soon entering their upgrade states.
Gou Liang, on the other hand, refrained from consuming any more beast cores, opting to monitor their progress.
Leveling up to Tier 2 took half the time as the first upgrade—just twelve hours. However, the process was exponentially more painful, as their bodies underwent significant refinement, with their bones and accumulated physical damage being purified by soul energy.
Zhou Gao and Yu Lin, who had both retired from the military due to injuries, experienced much more pain than the others.
When they awoke, though there weren’t any drastic changes to their appearances, their physiques had undergone a complete transformation compared to before.
With that, Gou Liang, having haphazardly eaten three beast cores himself, lay down to rest.
[Xiao Si, it’s time to get to work!]
If he wasn’t going to get cosmetic surgery now, when else could he?
When Gou Liang awoke sixteen hours later—
His fair and delicate face, with a sharp chin and straight nose, greeted the world. His lips were sensually curved, and his peach blossom eyes, still dazed from sleep, exuded a fatal allure.
As his gaze landed on Shi Buyu, he smiled softly, revealing dimples so cute they could melt hearts.
[Ding! Target’s affection level has increased. Current affection: +98!!]
Gou Liang’s long lashes fluttered slightly as he shyly smiled. The expression he often wore as a chubby version of himself was now magnified a hundredfold. It was a mix of familiar goofiness with a newfound, stunning beauty. His dimples held a touch of innocence, and with his soft voice, he murmured, “Shi Xiaoyu, I think I’ve shrunk.”
His oversized clothes hung loosely on him, and what had been a snug round collar on the chubby Gou Liang now slipped into a deep V-neck as he sat up. Shi Buyu gulped involuntarily and hurriedly sent everyone else away.
Yu Sen and the others were so stunned they practically floated. When they walked out, the straightforward old Gou Liang—commented, “Look, my butt’s smaller now too.”
Shi Buyu, in a hoarse voice, replied, “…No, it’s not.”
“That’s good.”
Gou Liang flashed him another smile, and those mischievous dimples once again made an appearance, utterly captivating Shi Buyu.
*
[Ding! Target’s affection level has increased. Current affection: +99!!]
Finally slimmed down!!! Although I don’t discriminate against fat people, it was still hard on my brain to imagine them being lovey-dovey especially when one is too handsome and the other is too fat. Well, ultimately it’s love and as a member of the single dog community, I don’t understand it well (￣▽￣)”