Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food Chapter 22 - Lemon Flavored Film Emperor Gong (1): Streamer Gou shows you his adorable pear dimples~

Chapter 22 - Lemon Flavored Film Emperor Gong (1): Streamer Gou shows you his adorable pear dimples~

Translator: SilverRain

Editors: Amaris, GrumpTrigger warning for this chapter/arc
There will be references to suicide. Can’t enjoy dog food without some pain on the side. _(:3 」∠)_
A C-ranked world set in the 22nd century.
This was the age of information and entertainment for all! Ten years ago, WE Entertainment introduced a revolutionary VR movie experience that elevated the film industry to full dive!
Artists rose to the same prominence as government officials, doctors, teachers and lawyers. Together, they were known as the five principal creative careers.
The original host Mai Tao aspired to be a well-known young actor at this time.
*
【Ding! The host’s body scan has been completed.】
Gou Liang opened his eyes. Right after, he fell out of bed, completely unprepared. His nose met the floor—
“Ow!”
Tears came to Gou Liang’s eyes from the pain.
【System: Master, are you alright?!!】
【Gou Liang who didn’t have the strength to climb up: …What a good host body you’ve picked for me! (▼皿▼#)】
【System: Ying.】
【System: Ding, the host’s body is in an extremely weak state. The scan revealed many toxins present in the body! Suggesting to immediately use a detoxification prop and recovery serum! There is a discount if they are bought together, just 20 points! Asking Master if he wants to buy? ⊙ω⊙】
Gou Liang could feel the blood dripping endlessly out of his nose, but he couldn’t even touch it. He reluctantly ordered the purchase.
15 seconds later.
Gou Liang finally sat up from the floor. As his sense of smell returned, he almost vomited from the scent of blood and the negative soul force created by the black toxins in his body. He hurried to the sink while pinching his nose—
The System who was cursed to have a small chicken said: I’m going to be a happy system. I don’t care. ╮(╯▽╰)╭
When Gou Liang finished cleaning himself, he continued to check the basic info provided by the system ↓↓
The host was called Mai Tao. His nickname was ‘Common Case’.
He was 21 years old and a streamer who didn’t have a contract on the live streaming platform associated with WE Entertainment.
There were many young adults at this time who wanted to be superstars. Compared to the majority of people who didn’t do much, the original host took more initiative. He was more gutsy, ambitious and stubborn—but at the same time he also experienced more failures.
This was his third year as a streamer on WE Entertainment’s platform, but he only had a pitiful number of loyal fans and a hundred bots that he bought with his own money.
It was clear that he had no talent.
But the original host refused to believe it. And now, he had paid the price for his ignorance.
Mai Tao worked himself to death.
After using all kinds of methods to become popular to no avail, he decided to broadcast his suicide—Without any professionals to advise him, three tablets of sleeping medication ended his life. If Gou Liang didn’t take over his body, he might not have made it onto the entertainment news, but there would probably be an article about him in the societal section proving ‘the value of his life’.
Sorry about taking that away from you.
【Gou Liang raised a brow: So you’re saying that this host has very few interpersonal relationships?】
【System: Yes, Master. The host had undergone 7 cosmetic surgeries, 3 ID name changes and 2 nickname changes. He also didn’t have any close friends. His interpersonal relationships were close to nil, and it could be said that he wasn’t close to a soul in the world—Right, it’s like what you’re thinking. You can save the expense of the 9 point soul mirror! o(￣ヘ￣*o)】
The System that suddenly realized why its master was secretly happy: There is no love in the world.
But it quickly bounced back!
【System: Ding! Master!! According to your current situation, this one recommends an identity reset prop out of the goodness of my heart! With this, you can spend as much money as you want! With this, you can bring a world-class beauty home! With this, you won’t OOC no matter what! Ao, also, also, my lovely Master, with it, the original host’s negative soul force won’t be a problem! Resolved in seconds!】
【Gou Liang rubbed his chin: This isn’t a bad idea.】
【The system’s eyes lit up: Right, right, Master! What are you waiting for? Hurry up and buy it!】
【Gou Liang: Little Troublemaker, is the item’s serial number 111110101? How much for a trial?】
Gou Liang recalled that the original price was 999 points, so after discounts it would be 99 points. Wu, although it was expensive it was also useful. He made some calculations in his head, but the System’s stuttered words ruined them all ↓
【Ding, a reply from the Main System: This product is not available for trial. Thank you.】
&#k3010;Gou Liang: &#k2026;&#k2026;&#k3011;
Feeling the hesitation of its Master, the System burst into tears!
Was there any system more unfortunate than it in the world? His Master got the title &#k2018;the first person to complete a task’ like a boss and was the only one with more than 5 figures worth of points in the bank. He was at the peak of those who completed tasks&#k2014;but it still had the cap of &#k2018;low sales dog’ stuck on its head! Thinking back to the 998 large gift pack it cried over in the last world&#k2014;all of Gou Liang’s expenditure to date wasn’t enough to get it!
The System was beyond angry.
【Blackened System: Master, do you know your current ranking in the shop? Hehe, what’s the point of storing up points if you don’t use them? You are the only—white diamond dog! Don’t forget that you still have a draw chance left!】
【Blackened System: Don’t tell me you want to let the prizes forever be from the cheap 1-100 range? Don’t you want to experience the delicacies that are more than 100 points? What about a 100-point deep sea snow fish?! 666 Magical beast, 999 spiritual wine, there’s nothing you can think of that the shop doesn’t have! Without tasting those, can you really call yourself a foodie dog?!】
【Gou Liang: Wu, your words seem to make sense.】
【The System instantly reverted back into a little cutie: Right, Master? Don’t wait any more, Master! ?u?】
Gou Liang deliberately slowed down until the System ripped some code to shreds to create a noose for its neck and said goodbye to the world. Then he smiled and generously indicated that he was convinced by its sales pitch.
The System instantly revived. Like it was afraid Gou Liang would reconsider, it sent the order at lightning speed!
【System: Ding, the identity reset prop has arrived! Outer appearance, family circumstance, societal position, financial situation and more! All that can be changed by you! A gentle reminder, this tool cannot be used twice in the same world. Once a new identity has been created, it cannot be changed. Begging Master to choose carefully!】
Gou Liang understood.
The original host wanted to prove his existence, he wanted to be a star. He didn’t mind realizing such a simple wish—Mai Tao’s negative soul force was richer than Qi Cheng’s.
Therefore, the higher the added condition was, the better.
As for appearance……
While adjusting that, Gou Liang paused. Qi Cheng’s delicate features and the pair of dimples that Shi Yu liked the most flashed through his mind. But he quickly used his strong willpower to suppress the strange feelings and used his original appearance as the basis.
Clean and crisp, proper as well. A tender look which had sky-high persuasive ability to make you agree to anything—this was the presence that was carved into the bones of a King-rank ability user who relied on brains rather than brawns. A pair of peach blossom eyes that had a hypnosis bug and appeared rather lazy when they weren’t smiling. When they were, the softness inside could drown a person. Because this body was several years younger than his, the eyes had less depth and distance. They seemed more outgoing than his were.
The person in the mirror smiled with Gou Liang. There were two attractive dimples beneath the happy crow’s feet.
*
Lu Liu, who was a member of the working class, used her meagre dinnertime to put on her VR goggles and logged in to the WE Entertainment livestream platform. There was a teddy lord boss who caused trouble 24/7, she needed to be soothed by a world-class beauty today as well!
She was planning on opening up her male god’s stream, but there was a recommendation from WE as soon as she logged in.
Lu Liu glanced at the hand of the streamer. Then, the high-heeled queen dove into this door without any further consideration—with a hand this beautiful, the streamer had to be a big big big beauty!
“Ding, welcoming the face-loving 【I’m this 6】to Mai Tao’s livestream!”
After the cute little milk-drinking voice faded, Mai Tao’s entire broadcasting room appeared before Lu Liu’s eyes ↓
What first caught the eye was the wall filled with cooking accessories in the lavish kitchen—the most noticeable was a knife set that gleamed silver. The stove was on, and a stock was bubbling on it. Then, she saw a pair of long long legs and a hand on the door of the refrigerator—the streamer was taking something from the fridge.
“En. Found it.”
A voice that carried some laughter went into Lu Liu’s eardrums—
Lu Liu: “Ah, ah, ah, ah, even his voice is so beautiful. He must be a big big big beauty x2!”
The streamer closed the door and ‘looked’ at her. He smiled: “I’m this 6? Welcome, this little girl’s name is filled with personality.”
Double eyelids + long eyelashes + peach blossom eyes + narrow nose bridge + dimples + natural smile + voice + hands + waist + legs = the man of my dreams!!!!
“Ah, ah, ah, ah!!”
This was an unexpected meeting by fate. By Lu Liu.
“Maimai, it’s a crime to call an aunt that’s ten years your senior a little girl, you know!”
“My ears are about to give birth again! Maimai I love your voice so much, ah!!!”
“Little 6 came, ah. Hurry up and follow Maimai, he’s meng to death~~”
……
As Lu Liu screamed quietly into her hand, her ears heard a few familiar sounds. This surprised her.
Full dive technology was so advanced now that not only could the audience watch the actors as if they were in the same place, there was also a recent push to allow fan-to-fan interaction in the same room as well. The most apparent improvement was in the scrolling comment section. Now you could choose between typing with your hands or saying it out loud.
Lu Liu had always used the second method—but the ones she followed all had hundreds of thousands of fans so her voice was lost in the crowd. That was why she set it up so that she could only hear the voice of those whom she was interested in.
Lu Liu was surprised to see them here because the people she followed were either tyrannical fans like her or verified big names. But this streamer seemed unfamiliar to her. If he was famous, there was no way that she would only encounter this natural male god today.
No one noticed her questions. The streamer took off the lid to let the steam escape. The camera gave the boiling stock a close up.
There was a round of realistic and unrestrained swallowing of saliva ↓
“Maimai, is it ready?”
“It looks so good~”
“What a capable beauty! Marry me, ba!”
“When can we dig in Maimai, ah? I’m so hungry and we’re all waiting on you.”
The male streamer laughed. When he laughed, the electrifying peach blossom eyes and the two cute dimples made people have a meng overload!
He said: “Waiting for delicious food is an experience in and of itself. Right, guys?”
He blinked and his cuteness value doubled.
Lu Liu held her little heart as she closely followed everyone else to place a large bouquet of roses on the streamer’s table. She quickly followed, then opened up the streamer’s profile page.
She originally wanted to find out why she hadn’t come into contact with such a succulent male god before—had anyone missed billions of opportunities like this?! But she was very surprised by what was there ↓↓
Name: Mai Tao, male, 21 years old, lives in Huaxia’s capital
Newbie (0 days)
Fans (1888)
Lu Liu’s eyes widened. She never would’ve thought that this was the male god’s first day of live streaming. And it just started an hour ago! Pulling up the list of his fans—
Lu Liu sucked in a cold breath.
You have started a PM with【No Umbrella If It’s Not Clear Out】: “Qingqing, where did this guy come from?”
She didn’t forget how she entered this room—What did it mean if he could get WE who was notorious for being cold to verified users with tens-of-millions of fans to highlight his stream? Plus, the fans he attracted all had millions of fans themselves and were prominent fans or creators on WE!
【No Umbrella If It’s Not Clear Out】 said to you: “Pointing to our company’s HOT post today.”
They were both managers at WE Entertainment. The artists they managed were all big characters on the Huaxia entertainment scene. Because the stars they managed had a good relationship and they shared a hobby of watching beautiful men, they had been good friends for a long time.
“I heard that a 24K-real-gold tyrant spent ten million to buy an S-rank special recommendation for three days! Pei, pei. But look at his kitchen, the outfit he’s wearing and his broadcasting equipment—Did you notice that it’s the WE.R204 total entertainment system that’s still in testing stage at the company? Even rich people have no way to buy it without connections. I never would’ve thought that I would be following some rich dude whose spit was worth four figures. My life is complete…”
Yep. Gou Liang decided on using a simple yet brutal method to gather as many fans as possible in the shortest amount of time. Throw money at it.
The WE streaming S-rank special recommendation which they were talking about was aimed towards users with more than ten thousand fans. It was the highest level of advertisement offered by WE on the platform.
One of these users was worth tens or even hundreds of regular ones. If you managed to gain their approval, even if they don’t promote you on their own official accounts and just mention you offhandedly in their group chats, it would pay off significantly.
Gou Liang made noodles today.
The long noodles were slowly placed into the water using chopsticks. Even if they couldn’t eat it, this kind of movement was easy on the eyes.
“Maimai, don’t tell me I’ve been waiting all my life for a bowl of noodles.”
“OMG this noodle looks so long!”
“Haha. Is the poster above pretending to be dumb? If there’s only a single noodle, it’s called longevity noodles. Aiya, I’ve only seen this in culinary magazines before. I never thought I would see it here!”
“I heard that the technique was dying out.”
“Someone above said that this kind of ancient noodle was going to be added to the treasures of Huaxia dining!”
“That doesn’t matter. The important thing should be, Maimai, is it your birthday today?”
“Wah, you’re right!”
“Happy birthday Maimai!!”
“Happy birthday!!”
Some tyrants couldn’t help but start sending cakes into the broadcast room. Gou Liang smiled as he shook his head, “No. I just wanted to eat it all of a sudden.”
“A quirk of being rich.”
“I feel like there’s a story behind this……”
Gou Liang didn’t satisfy their curiosity. The noodles were taken out and doused with chicken soup that had been simmering for an hour. He garnished it with homemade mushroom chicken and coriander topping… Gou Liang brought the bowl to his nose and sniffed it. His smile was relaxed: “It’s very fragrant.”
“I want to eat it so badly!”
“It looks so so good!”
“Ao, I want to be that bowl of noodles and be held in Maimai’s hands~~”
“Yingying. What kind of garbage am I eating? I have no appetite at all!”
“That can’t be. I’m so hungry after looking at Maimai’s face!”
“When do you stream Maimai? How about we make a reservation for a meal?”
“Meal time +1!”
“Wow my lack of appetite has been completely cured!”
……
Gou Liang slowly ate the noodles as they chattered. He didn’t bite down on it.
“Aoao, Maimai looks so meng while eating!’
“His lips are so beautiful when they swallow the noodle!”
“Hello everyone, I’m that noodle.”
“The poster above has won. I heard that longevity noodles need to remain unbroken, but I didn’t think it was true, ah.”
……
Gou Liang quietly finished his noodles. He seemed to think that there was nothing wrong with letting his fans watch him eat. The good thing was that the first batch he attracted over were all face-loving, so watching him eat was enjoyable for them. They chatted amongst themselves and didn’t think that it was too quiet. After Gou Liang finished, he happened to hear a female voice: “Ai, I don’t know how much overtime I have to take on tonight. I’ve only had two bites to eat since I was too occupied with watching beauties. Now I have to go back to work and live off coffee again.”
The System reminded him that this was the user who gave him so many roses—and shared him on her social media—whose ID was 【I’m this 6】. He wiped his mouth and smiled: “It’s not good for girls to stay up all night drinking coffee. You’re also in the capital right? Send me your address?”
Lu Liu was just preparing to leave when she heard that: “Aoaoao, are you talking to me Maimai? You’re so kind, what if I fall in love with you~”
“It means you have excellent taste.”
Gou Liang’s words sparked another round of celebration in the room.
Before Lu Liu logged off, she decided to send Gou Liang her address.
Her first impression of him was very positive. Although she wasn’t greedy enough to expect him to send her something, she wanted to see if he was genuine or was just pretending, so that she wouldn’t be disappointed later on.
She never expected Gou Liang to give her such a big surprise.
We’ll skip what happened.
All that needed to be said was that after finishing his noodles, Gou Liang ignored the pleading of the face-lovers and ended his broadcast. He cleaned up and went to take a bath.
Just as he was browsing through the works of celebrity streamers and artists from this world for inspiration, the System timidly interjected ↓
【Ding, dear Master, it has been more than 23 hours since you were tasked to report your experience to the Main System. If it isn’t completed within 24 hours, the rewards will be cut in half.
Gou Liang’s expression stiffened.
The System’s eyes, which were made of code, were filled with worry. Ever since he came to this world, no matter how cheerful Gou Liang seemed on the surface, his mind was covered by a never-ending cloud of gloom. It was quiet enough to make it feel lonely and sad.
It thought that Gou Liang would say something, but he just leaned back in the tub and placed the towel over his face. He went into his mind to organize the experience report before uploading it and leaving.
The System chased after him with its stubby legs.
In the sea of consciousness.
System: “Master, are you alright?”
“Of course.” Gou Liang seemed shocked it would ask such a thing. He smiled: “So this is what it feels like to spend money like water. To be honest, it’s really refreshing!”
The System glanced around the gray sea of consciousness. It twirled its little fingers and said: “Master, the target… did you fall in love with him?”
Gou Liang was taken aback. He immediately denied it: “Of course not. How could you come to such a… farfetched conclusion.”
He remained silent for a long time before unwillingly admitting his mistake: “I just… miss him a bit.”
“……” System: “But… you’re crying.”
Gou Liang touched his hand to his face before he remembered that the souls couldn’t cry. It was the body that he hid under the towel outside that was crying… Human tear ducts were such troublesome things, ah.
He pursed his lips and sat down. It was a while before he quietly said: “I kind of regret it.”
“I was too careless. If I had kept an eye on Ye Hui and He Lin, if I had started preparing earlier, I wouldn’t have dragged Shi Yu into all of this.”
“That’s not true!” The System quickly said: “Master, even if Ye Hui and He Lin weren’t there, he would’ve died when the Lord God’s consciousness woke up. The souls in that space-time would all return to where they should be, whether it’s the world of the living or reincarnation. But no matter what, the fate of the target is the same… the target relies on the space-time of the task world to live, so disrupting that means that the target… did you forget all of this?”
Of course Gou Liang didn’t forget.
But people who had not experienced what it felt like to dominate a person and be dominated in return wouldn’t understand.
Even if their love wasn’t deep, it had already festered into a malignant cancer in their bones.
So very excited to be working on this novel with KunLin, Amaris and Grump! Lemons are sour, just like my heart after this chapter…