It's Actually Not Easy Wanting to be a Supporting Male Lead Chapter 12 part12

Translated by Eve
Edited by Wuxian
Although Sui Yuan especially wanted to see Selman's expression of falling apart when he awoken and met with Dill again, it was truly a pity that the plot did not move towards that direction. And, when the story ended, he and Zhao Xihe had to leave.
Even though their departure was drawing nigh, Zhao Xihe very much wanted to spend the eve of their departure doing the deed to his heart's delight. However, for the sake of giving a lesson to Selman, who constantly thought about making a vain attempt to snatch away his person and who did not repent no matter what, he patiently bore with that lightbulb Dill and did not directly shoo him away without any hesitation.
That's right. Zhao Xihe went against the plot. He refused Dill's invitation to travel around the human world together. However, what was unexpected was Dill surprisingly changing his mind and abandoning his plan. Instead, he stayed by his childhood friend and Yaan's side.
Dill liked Yaan—although it was not a romantic type of like—and also cared about his close friend Anson. After having lost his lover, he urgently longed to be with the people he cared about. This was completely understandable. Therefore, his single dog eyes were rudely blinded.
In order to make sure Dill was strong enough to beat up Selman a thousand years later, Zhao Xihe gave it his all in teaching him. Of course, while he taught Dill, Zhao Xihe did not forget to PDA from time to time, making it clear to Dill that Sui Yuan belonged to him exclusively.
Zhao Xihe could sense the goodwill Dill had towards Yaan. If Dill hadn't fallen in love with Selman first and was a person with a one-track mind, he might have been half-hearted like Selman. At present, there was no Selman. In order to prevent Dill from developing any kind of delusion he shouldn't be having while interacting with Sui Yuan, he had no choice but to make him surrender with actions. Although, rather than saying 'had no choice', it would be better to say he was 'enduring it gladly'.
Zhao Xihe was very precise when judging the emotions of other people. Or rather, his love rival radar was uncomparably sharp. From the moment Dill had found out that his family's childhood friend and Yaan daren had gotten together, 'if even Anson is OK, then why won't I do?' and such thoughts flashed through his mind, though even he himself was not aware of them. However, shortly thereafter, these kinds of thoughts were quickly extinguished after Zhao Xihe gradually showed off his capabilities before him.
Zhao Xihe's strength after becoming a vampire made Dill feel far inferior. The other's position in human society also dumbfounded him. In the end, Dill was nothing but a poor youth from the slums. Even if he enjoyed a noble's treatment after encountering Selman, he had never truly assimilated into that life. Perhaps Dill could mature, become poised, and become noble from the inside out after a thousand years. However, right now, he was far, far away from this level….
Thus, when Dill saw how decisive Zhao Xihe was in managing things, how he received his clients with both grace and indifference, he could barely believe that he was the same poverty-stricken childhood friend that he knew!
Towards his completely unconcealed OOCing, Zhao Xihe remained unworried. He only said 'people can always change and mature' and other similar things without thinking it through, skipping over this matter. Dill was skeptical about this. However, no matter how hard he thought, he would never imagine that his childhood friend's soul had already been completely replaced. Thus, he could only accept his words and settle the matter by dropping it.
The change in 'Anson' made Dill gradually feel at ease with the relationship between him and Yaan. Although he was far inferior in appearance to Yaan, his personality very much suited the other in any case. Looking at their habits, Dill thought that the considerate 'Anson' who was detail-oriented and single-mindedly devoted was a much better match for Yaan than Selman. He would make Yaan happier.
Like this, Dill's determination to thwart Selman's intention to step between the two people became even more resolute.
When the plot ended, Sui Yuan and Zhao Xihe bid farewell to Dill using the excuse of wanting to spend their honeymoon travelling around the world. Soon after, they completely left the vampire world. When he recalled how he meticulous trained Dill, Zhao Xihe narrowed his eyes and smiled a smile full of malice. Sui Yuan saw everything and silently lit a candle for Selman.
——Although he was also very curious and even took a bit of joy in his misfortune….
Sui Yuan did not like Selman at all. Especially after seeing that the other had caused his mark to lower quite a bit. When he saw his final score, Sui Yuan's anger towards Selman deepened yet to another level. He was itching to transmigrate back and fiercely teach him a lesson.
Fortunately, Selman and Dill, this protagonist CP, had gotten together—although there was the crisis of a two-timing scum gong appearing. However, after 'Yaan' and 'Anson' left, there was no more correspondence and Selman could not find them despite looking everywhere. In the end, he had no choice but to give up. Without Sui Yuan's fraudulent Heartthrob halo's influence, Selman was not moved by anyone else. He was content with his own lot and lived out his life with Dill. Overall, the score was passable.
Sui Yuan closed his score rather gloomily. He silently comforted himself that it was better than the previous worlds in which the protagonist CP was completely torn apart. However, he was still brooding inside.
——The feeling of having everything ruined because of a lack of a final effort….he really did not want to experience this again! It was simply stifling….
Seeing Sui Yuan's sulky mood, Zhao Xihe sighed. He rubbed Sui Yuan's head, trying to distract him, "What do you want to ask this time?"
Sui Yuan jolted out of his thoughts and quickly threw Selman to the back of his mind. He looked at Zhao Xihe with a burning gaze, "Why did my Creator make you?"
Zhao Xihe did not directly answer him. Instead, he raised a brow, "Why are you so certain that I was made by your creator?"
Sui Yuan blanked. He was rather puzzled, "…Could it be that you weren't?"
In Sui Yuan's eyes, his Creator was an existence that controlled everything. It was omnipotent, most worthy of admiration. It was like how parents were invincible in the eyes of their child. So, when Zhao Xihe said that he was not a real person, he immediately ignored all other possibilities and determined that he and Zhao Xihe were made by the same Creator. It was reasonable to say that it was a rather groundless belief.
Zhao Xihe smiled softly and did not tease Sui Yuan any further, "To some extent, I am indeed made by your Creator."
Sui Yuan looked at Zhao Xihe, rather conflicted. He did not quite understand what he meant by 'to some extent'. Currently, Sui Yuan could roughly perceive Zhao Xihe's implication. However, he did not receive a definite answer. Moreover, these ambiguous words meant that there was a certain discrepancy between what he said and the actual truth.
Sui Yuan gripped his hair. He felt that perhaps this was very important. Since he did not understand, he directly asked, "What does 'to some extent' mean?"
Zhao Xihe smiled a smile that was not a smile, "Which question do you want to ask me?"
Sui Yuan："……………………"
——God*mmit! He was suddenly on the fence, what to do?! He wanted to ask both of them, ah!
In the end, Sui Yuan decided to follow his original thought first, to avoid being led astray by Zhao Xihe. In any case, like how Zhao Xihe had said, they had plenty of time.
"The reason I was made ah…" Zhao Xihe squinted, looking like he was ruminating, "Was probably out of boredom, ba."
"…Boredom?" Sui Yuan was stunned. He completely did not expect this kind of answer.
"Yes, ah. Boredom. You know that the Original Space has nothing. Even the flow of time cannot be perceived. Day after day, it has to deal with the data sent back from the systems. Even if it's a God, it would still find it unbearable, ba?" Zhao Xihe smiled lightly as he lamented.
Sui Yuan："……………………"
——Why did he suddenly feel that his god, who was free of mortal desires, was suddenly pulled off of its godly altar? He must be overthinking things!
Sui Yuan: "…So…because it was bored…you were created?"
Zhao Xihe calmly nodded his head, "Yes. Through my eyes, my ears, my thoughts, my perception…excluding the data it received before, it could experience its own worlds through a whole new perspective. Isn't it very interesting?"
Although Zhao Xihe's tone was mild and soft, and even carried a hint of delight, the hair on Sui Yuan's body just about stood up, "Wait a second! What do you mean?"
Zhao Xihe shrugged, "It is exactly what you think it means."
Sui Yuan's body gradually stiffened as he was stared at by Zhao Xihe. He forced a laugh, "You said…that it sees everything? Through your eyes? Is this true? Don't…trick me…."
Zhao Xihe advanced forward a few steps, pressing close to Sui Yuan. He slightly bent down and completely enveloped Sui Yuan with his shadow, smile unreadable, "What do you think? Is it true?"
Sui Yuan was like a little animal that had been ensnared within a trap, not daring to even struggle under the hunter's tyrannical abuse. He could only return Zhao Xihe's gaze dumbly. He seemed to be able to see a flash of a robotic coldness through those dark eyes he had grown familiar with. It felt familiar to the one he had perceived within the Original Space.
Sui Yuan thought about the previous world and the feeling he had when Zhao Xihe told him he had killed off the plot's characters, which he had dismissed as his own misconception. He suddenly realized that actually, he had become aware of this fact somewhat but did not think too deeply about it—he did not dare think too deeply, only casting everything as an illusion in order to protect himself.
Only towards his Creator would he feel that deeply-rooted obedience and reverence. Zhao Xihe was not just Zhao Xihe. Everything about him was also linked to the existence that Sui Yuan fundamentally did not dare disrespect.
"You…just what are you?" Sui Yuan could dimly hear himself ask, "You are…my Creator?"
"I am it. Or rather, I am a part of it," Zhao Xihe grabbed hold of Sui Yuan's shoulders and he bit Sui Yuan's ear, laughing in an ambiguous low voice, "He is reason, whereas I am emotion. It hopes to be able to enjoy the four types of human emotions through me and life in all its forms. After all, after seeing so much, it will naturally be curious. Where there is curiosity, there is a longing to taste it. Thus, I was born."
Sui Yuan felt a feeling of limpness and numbness rise within his body. His body, that had long since familiarized itself with Zhao Xihe, reacted extremely quickly. However, this did nothing to change his hesitant and helpless feelings.
Sui Yuan began to think. He thought of all the details he had missed from the moment he laid eyes on Zhao Xihe until now.
He did not understand emotions, but seemed to have not struggled in the least. He had logically accepted Zhao Xihe's love and even responded in turn. Did he truly like Zhao Xihe, or was this the innate yearning for his Creator?
Zhao Xihe had disrupted his mission time and time again. Sui Yuan was furious and angered, but he had only ever escaped. He had never resisted. Was this a testament to love's 'poison' or was it his instinct to comply with his Creator?
Because of Zhao Xihe's obstruction, he was nearly destroyed. However, he did not hate him, nor was he angry at him. He was most willing to give up on himself. He even felt guilty towards Zhao Xihe and was reluctant to part with him, the main offender, when he was about to die. Did he truly love Zhao Xihe, or was it that he fundamentally was incapable of developing negative feelings towards his Creator?
Even after he got together with Zhao Xihe, aside from when he tread on his bottom line, he was always obedient and indulgent towards Zhao Xihe. He very rarely had the thought to go against his wishes. He even dejectedly gave up on the thought of counter-attacking, a thought that had been endlessly running through his mind when faced with the other's expression….
——So, did he really like Zhao Xihe or not? Or was this but the mischief of his instincts?
Sui Yuan was perplexed, like a lost child. Zhao Xihe sighed and pulled Sui Yuan, who had fallen into a state of self-doubt, against his chest, stroking his lover in a comforting manner as one would do to a startled little animal. A bitter smile was forced onto his lips.
He had known that things would become like this, so he had never wanted to tell Sui Yuan the truth. However, Zhao Xihe knew that if he wanted to be with Sui Yuan forever, he could not perpetually conceal this from him. He wished to be honest with Sui Yuan and hoped that the other would accept all of him.
Thus, he chose to tell him his secret with each world, little by little, wishing that this would give Sui Yuan enough time to digest it, accept it. He hoped that by slowly guessing more and more about his identity, Sui Yuan would more easily understand and accept it. However, Zhao Xihe didn't expect that Sui Yuan would be even sharper than he had predicted. Each question pinpointed a crucial part of his secret, quickly uncovering his mask.
"When…did you find out?" Sui Yuan, who was rather rigid within Zhao Xihe's arms spoke, voice muffled as quiet as a mosquito. However, Zhao Xihe's sharp ears caught it, "After getting you back."
Sui Yuan raised his hand, eyes glistening. He did not dare stare directly into Zhao Xihe's eyes, as it felt like he would be looking straight into his Creator's eyes.
"When I discovered that you were gone, I was worried to death. I nearly destroyed everything, so as to bury it all beside you. Compared to a Destroyer, as part of the Worlds' origin, my power and authority is much greater than them. If I were to lose control, then naturally, I would be much more dangerous," Zhao Xihe's tone was irreverent, as if he was narrating a very ordinary story, "Of course, it sensed my abnormality. It could not allow me to do what I planned so it brought me to itself. When the barrier between worlds was severed, the connection between it and me was abruptly strengthened so I broke through the false memories and came to understand everything. Only then did I have the qualifications to negotiate with it."
The hand clasped onto Zhao Xihe's collar tightened and he pursed his lips. He subconsciously nestled deeper into his embrace. If his feelings towards Zhao Xihe was intertwined with his instincts, then what about the feelings Zhao Xihe had towards him? Did he truly love him?
Seeming to perceive Sui Yuan's thoughts, Zhao Xihe's finger twirled the hair at the back of Sui Yuan's head, his voice flat, "It actually likes you a lot. Even though you have never met its requirements—even if you are a failed product."
Sui Yuan's body stiffened. These words had quickly, accurately and ruthlessly tread all over his sore spot.
"However, you are its blood and soul. It expended a great deal of energy into you. Even I did not receive this much of his attention. After it made me, it gave me fake memories and then threw me into the worlds as an Actor, leaving me to fend for myself. The only preferential treatment I received was that I was made into a 'protagonist'. Meanwhile, you are not the same. It is always paying close attention to you, recording each and every one of your movements. It incessantly and painstakingly modifies you, optimizes you. It does its best to make you into its image of perfection…" Zhao Xihe laughed softly, "Perhaps I was influenced by it, which was why I paid so much attention to you and could not stop thinking about you, chasing after you so relentlessly. In the end, although it and I have long since become separate entities, we have always mutually affected each other."
Sui Yuan did not feel disappointed when he heard Zhao Xihe's words. When he heard that his Creator liked him, he even felt an unstoppable feeling of happiness. This feeling made him a bit conflicted, as if the love between two people suddenly became a strange and baffling threesome.
"Because of it, I became infatuated with you on our first meeting, fell in love with you on our second, and on our third, I decided to pledge my whole life to you. Meanwhile, as my feelings for you deepened, it gradually developed an inexplicable reluctance to part with you," Zhao Xihe snorted a bit discontentedly, "So, it was easily persuaded by me and compromised with me. Thus, it gave up on its original idea of recycling you. Otherwise, I think that it would have destroyed us both. I am but a part of it. A single part will never be able to defeat the whole. It could very easily create a new puppet to replace me."
After a long pause, Zhao Xihe patted the back of Sui Yuan's head, "This is it. I've told you everything. Is there anything you want to say?"
"…I don't know," Sui Yuan was bewildered.
There was too much information. He needed enough time and space to think things over. He needed to think about the relationship between Zhao Xihe and his Creator, think about his feelings towards Zhao Xihe, and think about the relationship between himself and his Creator. Although, the last one didn't seem to require any thinking over. He just felt overwhelmed with favour in any case.
Zhao Xihe lowered his head to glance at Sui Yuan and raised the corner of his lips in displeasure. After having rivalled Lord Plot for Sui Yuan's affection for so long, he discovered that he also had to suffer being jealous over his main body. Sui Yuan was constantly thinking about his Creator. Even if it was just like a little chick imprinting on its mother, it was still unbearable, ah!
"You can think it over properly. You have enough time," Zhao Xihe coldly smiled where Sui Yuan could not see.
The plot? He had destroyed so many of them, he didn't mind destroying a few more.
His main body? It sounded so impressive but it was permanently trapped within the Original Space and was a pitiful bug that could not even take a single step out of there.
Sui Yuan was his and could only be his. Regardless of whether Sui Yuan's feelings towards himself was influenced by his instinctive feelings regarding his Creator, he could only stay by his side and never escape!
As long as he had Sui Yuan, he would not give him to anyone else, regardless if it was the Destroyer who once had a 'short term love affair' with him, or if it was this main body that was eyeing Sui Yuan covetously from behind himself. No one could take Sui Yuan away from him!
The author has something to say:
The Creator and what not, in reality, isn't it just some unconventional father figure? Actually, before this, I wanted to write them as father and son. [covers face]
Eve: Finally, the whole truth is out! Who guessed correctly? Finally the reasoning for ZXH's inexplicable love and obsession with SY is revealed. Also, some things ZXH say are just so cheesy and sweet I can't. In real life I'd probably cringe but something about him makes my heart race >/////<
Wuxian: Not gonna lie, I forgot about the whole Creator business until it was brought up again.