It's Actually Not Easy Wanting to be a Supporting Male Lead Chapter 8.11

Translated by Eve
Edited by Juurensha, Cat, C3ltic
Eve: Just to reiterate, updates are 3x a week. Wed/Fri/Sun GMT-6 midnight until further notice.
When the smoke from the Mecha explosion finally cleared, Sui Yuan found himself in a pure white space. 5237 had already gone who knows where, and their connection had already been cut.
Sui Yuan faintly remembered this place–he had been born here. Although he didn't really know what was going on, he could faintly sense that this place was the origin of all worlds. Even the highest ranking system didn't have the authority to step foot in here.
Aside from the colour white, there was nothing here at all. There weren't any objects, nor sounds–even time didn't seem to exist here. Sui Yuan looked at himself. It came to no surprise that he had also blended into the white. Nothing remained.
—-Had he returned to being one with the source? If so, then why did his consciousness still exist?
Sui Yuan felt a bit perplexed.
After the plot had completely come to a close, he was brought here. Had his creator gotten fed up with his actions and thus became impatient?
Sui Yuan felt disappointed that he hadn't had the chance to bid 5237 and Zhao Xihe goodbye. At the same time, however, he sighed a breath of relief because he completely didn't know how to deal with that kind of situation–even if he was given time, when faced with Zhao Xihe, he probably wouldn't be able to utter the words of an eternal farewell.
Since he had already accepted this kind of ending a long time ago, Sui Yuan did not feel sad at all. On the contrary, it seemed only logical–this kind of ending could be considered quite acceptable.
Of course, this was based on the premise that his consciousness would be lost, not that he would be locked away in this white space forever. Otherwise, that would truly be terrible….
【It seems that your situation isn't bad, P0001.】
Suddenly, a sound echoed in Sui Yuan's–rather, that ought to be P0001's–consciousness. Sui Yuan couldn't say how he felt about this voice. It seemed ice-cold and ruthless, seeming to carry a ridiculing tone. It felt illusory, but also felt very real. No matter how he described it, it didn't seem to be enough. It was always imperfect, no matter how he put it.
His deepest impression was that it was familiar. It was so familiar that no matter what, it would never be erased from his consciousness.
"It probably…can't be considered all that bad? As long as this doesn't go on for too long," Sui Yuan spoke in a light tone as he felt some anticipation, "Are you here to erase me?"
【No.】The voice replied,【After spending a great deal of energy, you're the most worthwhile solution that I've created.. Although you're defective and flawed, I will slowly improve you. I believe that one day soon, you will be a success.】
"I don't understand," Sui Yuan knitted his brows–if he could have knitted his brows–"If you don't plan to erase me, what do you plan to do with me?"
【I'll look for the flaws, fix them so that you're perfect, erase your memory, and then let you start a new life.】
"That doesn’t sound bad. However, if I were to forget everything, will I still be me?" Sui Yuan came up with a rare philosophical question.
【As far as I'm concerned, you will still be you. Only, you'll have become one step closer to perfection.】
"If I'm 'born again'–if you can call it that–after being reborn, can I still choose 5237 to be my guide?" Sui Yuan asked, filled with anticipation.
【It's been proven that 5237 is not fit to guide you. I will give you a better guide–or would you prefer that I reformat 5237? I can do that too. 】The voice sounded fair and reasonable. However, its sense of fairness and reason didn't seem right.
"…Forget it," Sui Yuan vetoed this suggestion, dispirited, "Hearing you talk like this, it seems that this hasn't been the first time that I've been…fixed?"
【Indeed. You've already been fixed several times now, though I don't remember clearly how many times it's been. You were made more and more perfect by my own hands. I really like this type of feeling. 】
The voice sounded very gleeful, making Sui Yuan involuntarily relax. Perhaps his relationship with the voice was more intimate than he had previously thought–it was more than that of one between a creator and its creation. Furthermore, there was also something else mixed in, making Sui Yuan completely unable to resist succumbing to the voice's will.
"Then this time, what needs to be fixed? My feelings?" Sui Yuan calmly proposed, "I feel like I'm too soft-hearted. I can't accept someone's goodwill without wanting to return it. Which is why everything has turned into a mess; speaking of, will anything happen to Zhao Xihe?"
As Sui Yuan recounted his own experiences, the voice continuously muttered to itself. It (?) did not echo what he had said, as if waiting for something. However, regarding the last question, it's (?) reply was blunt.
【No. It's very unfortunate, but he will not receive any sort of punishment. He–is a very special existence.】
"Special existence? Such as?" Sui Yuan felt a bit of anticipation building up inside of him. Maybe he had just stumbled upon a big secret?
【There is no 'such as.'.】The voice sounded a bit upset, 【You shouldn't know about it.】
"Alright," Sui Yuan did not continue to nag. After all, he would soon forget everything anyway. Whether he knew or not made no difference, "Then, next, we should start the fixing process?"
The voice fell silent, unable to respond. Sui Yuan waited for who knows how long. When he had just decided to urge it (?), the voice spoke once again.
【I…still need to think this over. I need to put together everything you've said and done in the last 8 worlds before coming up with a plan of action. In the meantime, I'm going to let you sleep, so that you won't be too bored.】
"Ok," Sui Yuan responded, like he didn't care one way or another. Then, he felt himself…it felt as if he was "extinguished."
【…You guys have caused me so much trouch. Or rather, I seem to have hindered myself? I really hope that this is just a little mishap….】
—–This was the last thing Sui Yuan heard. Of course, it could have been his imagination too.
Although he felt a bit regretful, when he opened his eyes once more, he probably wouldn't be Sui Yuan anymore. He'd be P0001.
……
……
……
—-This was what Sui Yuan had thought when he sank into a deep sleep. However, as the facts would soon show, things developed contrary to what he had thought at a critical moment.
Sui Yuan opened his eyes to the familiar scene of 5237 using the same posture as always to throw itself into his chest.
Sui Yuan hugged the plump 5237 who was sobbing incessantly, a bit dumbfounded.
"Yingyingyingying…Sui Yuan Yuan, you're finally back QAQ Zhao Xihe was so scary. I was almost killed by him, you know…If you didn't come back, I would have definitely been killed by him QAQ" 5237 rubbed against Sui Yuan's body forcefully, in order to relieve its bitter yearning for Sui Yuan after meeting again after such a long separation (?) and also its remaining trepidation after gaining a new lease on life.
"…Did I miss something important?" Sui Yuan was particularly lost. He looked all around and discovered that he had already left the white origin space and had arrived in the space between worlds, "What exactly happened? Why am I here?"
"I also don't know QAQ" 5237 sobbed, trying its best to enunciate its words more clearly, "In the last world, after your Mecha exploded, the link between you and me was forcibly cut. Then, you were sent to the space between worlds. And after that, I received that idiot 0007's communication request–Only heaven knows how he knew how to get in contact with me!
"And then?" Sui Yuan interrupted 5237's complaint and asked a bit eagerly.
"Then, 0007 and Zhao Xihe came to me. I told him everything…Although I really wanted to bully him for you, Zhao Xihe's appearance was really way too scary. So…So I was too scared…" 5237's voice became more and more quiet, as if it was unable to break free of its previous dread, "I felt like he wanted to kill me–No, I felt like he would obliterate me! However, he is clearly just a high ranked actor, that's all. He can't hurt systems…so I wonder why I felt that way? It must be that he was too terrifying at that time, so I was scared out of my mind…."
Sui Yuan comforted 5237, feeling a bit of a headache. He once again stopped 5237 from prattling on incoherently, "And then?"
"And then? Oh! And then!" 5237 suddenly reacted, "And then, I told him everything. He told me to stay here and not do anything. Then, he disappeared! He definitely went somewhere where systems can't send you. Or…it was a place that I couldn't detect given my previous level of authority.…"
Sui Yuan fell silent for a period of time. He felt like 5237 was as helpful as if it hadn't even spoken at all. It had still not answered even one of his questions.
"Is there anything else?" He urged.
"Also…there's nothing else…I have been waiting for him obediently this entire time. Then, 0007 who had been with me suddenly disappeared. After that, you came out–from here," 5237 pointed to a place behind Sui Yuan.
The place where Sui Yuan had come out from was a mass of primal chaos. Previously, he had used this place to check his score after every world. Sui Yuan felt that perhaps the Origin was on the other side.
Sui Yuan stood up and approached the mass of primal chaos. He raised his hand, wanting to touch it. However, he discovered that his fingers were repelled–It refused to accept him.
Sui Yuan didn't know why he didn't recall being eliminated. All the same, he did not feel any different–he hadn't been "cleared of his flaws" nor had he been "fixed to perfection".
Of course, this was definitely not an oversight by 'The Voice'. Sui Yuan knew that it (?) eagerly pursued perfection. So, it (?) would absolutely not have made even one mistake.
In that case, the one who had forced 'The Voice' to give up on fixing him and eliminating him, must be Zhao Xihe?
Sui Yuan clearly remembered that the voice had used a helpless tone to explain that Zhao Xihe was a special being. So, the only possible reason could be Zhao Xihe.
If this reasoning was correct, then what happened to Zhao Xihe? The Origin and him, and that voice–what was the relationship between them?
Sui Yuan had always thought that Zhao Xihe was just an ordinary veteran actor; the only thing special about him was that he had experienced numerous worlds, earned many points, and had a high level of authority.
But in truth, Zhao Xihe was even more special than he had thought.
At present, Zhao Xihe was not by his side, so there was no one to answer his questions. Sui Yuan gazed at the empty space all around him, feeling a bit at loss, as if he had no will to continue on.
—-Zhao Xihe…Where was he? 'The Voice' said that he was special and that he wouldn't receive any sort of punishment. So, he…should still exist, right?
—-Since he was still alive, where on earth had he gone? Why wasn't he by his side, waiting for him to wake up?
—-Yes…had he finally given up on him? Was he disappointed in him and therefore decided to stop pursuing him?
Sui Yuan raised his hand to cover his chest. He felt desolate. He was reluctant to go to the next world, and he didn't want to continue to act out some role. Like this, he continued to sit there for a very long time, with this absurd, impossible to get rid of idea whirling through his mind.
—-However, why did he have to wait here? Was it to…wait for Zhao Xihe?
—-If Zhao Xihe was still an actor, then he would have to return here, right?
—-But…if Zhao Xihe really gave up on him, then even if Sui Yuan waited here, what would it be all for?
Sui Yuan felt that his mind was a mess.
—-So, this was what it felt like to be thrown away…to feel hopeless to the point of despair….
Was it over between him and Zhao Xihe? Zhao Xihe had caused him to be recalled and nearly fixed. However, he had saved him. He owed Zhao Xihe. He had once abandoned Zhao Xihe, so now, it was his turn to reap what he had sown.
Then, would they finally be even? Rather, doesn't he owe Zhao Xihe even more? At the very least, he owed him an apology.
5237 quietly stayed by Sui Yuan's side. It looked at Sui Yuan whose appearance was so dull, it was as if he had lost all colour. It wanted to speak, but it didn't know what to say. It could only pace back and forth, irritably, until the space not far from it distorted, indicating that something was coming through. This instantly roused Sui Yuan, who had just been about to sink into depression.
He abruptly raised his head towards the distorting space. Sui Yuan was disappointed however to find it was a completely unfamiliar man who evoked no feelings from him.
Sui Yuan's expectant gaze made the other's mind turn blank and subconsciously nod. Sui Yuan gave him a smile in return–his innate courteous nature did not permit him to forget his manners towards the other party–even if he found it difficult to conceal his disappointment at this moment.
"It's very rare to meet another actor here," The man approached Sui Yuan, taking the initiative to speak. However, his voice wasn't very warm.
"…Perhaps," Sui Yuan replied hesitatingly.
Sui Yuan's abnormal behaviour did not evoke any curiosity in the man, as if he had just commented casually. No matter what Sui Yuan's answer was, he wouldn't care.
After the man's and Sui Yuan's brief encounter, the man headed towards the mass of primal chaos without a second glance. Unexpectedly, the man's system lagged far behind, as if it wanted to say something to Sui Yuan but was hesitating. In the end, it said nothing.
Sui Yuan's eyes followed the man as he went to receive his score. The man then quickly entered the next world. Finally, Sui Yuan cast his gaze onto 5237 who had been waiting for him for a long time, "Do I still have to take on assignments?"
"Well, it's reasonable to say that…it's like this. I haven't received any instructions, so I'm also confused," 5237 hesitated. However, it quickly switched to a joyous but obviously forced tone, "What's incredible is that you unexpectedly passed the world-switching assessment! What I mean is that you can now enter BL worlds!"
Sui Yuan currently wasn't interested at all in leaving for a new world. He only slanted his head ambiguously.
"Do…you want to go?" 5237 asked, sounding him out.
"…Let's go," Sui Yuan nodded.
He felt at such a loss. His mind was in complete disorder. To stay there in a daze–regardless of whether the rules permitted it or not, it accomplished nothing but letting his imagination run wild, thereby making him feel even worse. Consequently, Sui Yuan decided to first continue doing work that was familiar to him. By finding something to distract him with, will help him calm down.
"Good, good!" After getting Sui Yuan's agreement, 5237 finally let out a fierce sigh of relief. It impatiently chose the next world and pulled Sui Yuan through.
Although Sui Yuan did not appear all too happy, 5237 thought that having separated from Zhao Xihe, who had shifted from annoying to frightening, was absolutely a miracle that made one shed tears!
—-It really did not want to ever see Zhao Xihe ever again! QAQ
The author has something to say:
Although I can't promise double updates, but I think that updating every day isn't bad wwwww
This novel is mainly from Sui Yuan's POV. Zhao Xihe's is secondary. Therefore, this important turning point in the plot must also be in Sui Yuan's POV before it can be changed to Zhao Xihe's. Although it feel abusive, his POV is spoilery so that would be boring~ So, that's why I did it in this way~ As for the abuse of Zhao Xihe…You guys just imagine it yourselves….
Eve: Trust in author dada~ Angst was very short lived. But what happened to ZXH? Leave your guesses below if you have any~ Now we're heading to arc 9. Showbiz~
juurensha:Oh nooooo. Well, Zhao Xihe kind of deserved it, but hopefully he finds Sui Yuan again soon!
Cat: Hmm, that new guy feels suspicious…anyway i hope Zhao Xihe and Sui Yuan can reunite again.