Esper Harem in the Apocalypse Chapter 816 Accursed Existence

Chapter 816 Accursed Existence

"What happens when I become a full shadow?"
"A new—"
"What happens to 'me' when I become a full shadow," Rudy repeatedly tapped his thumb on his chest. "Once I cease to exist."
"You become one of us."
"Everyone I know will think I died?"
"They will forget about you. You will be forgotten as though you never existed. All your records, digital or physical… they will vanish. You will fade away from the pictures. You will… cease… to exist for them."
"…"
"And then you will join us," it shortly added.
"Join you in what?"
"A resting place… I guess. There are thousands of shadows there."
"Do you know the shadow you tried to kill Janet, or the shadow who had trapped Angelica in this tunnel for eight years, or the shadow… that brought me to Rebecca so she could raise me?"
"Oh, too many questions." The shadow placed its hands on its ear and said, "I don't know the answers to that. You don't expect that the shadows get along with each other, do you?"
"…"
"They are but used tools of the universe. Tossed away once they had no more purpose."
Rudy moved his gaze to the rubbles and debris around him. He was gathering the most important questions in his mind.
"What you said about 'cease to exist' earlier and gave me signs of the evidence… that happened… that has already happened once with Angelica. Why is that? She was a normal human. I know it because I raised her for a period of time."
"Perhaps she was also a Lord?" The shadow shrugged its shoulders while keeping its hand on its ears.
"She was not."
"You did say that a shadow had trapped her for eight years. How do you explain that then? Why would a shadow kill and trap a normal person for eight years when it had no merit of doing so?"
"I said nothing about 'killing' Angelica, though." Rudy raised a brow.
"A shadow can't interfere with living beings… never. It may try to scare them or threaten them, but they can't take a life. You said she was 'trapped' and that's not possible, unless it was a dead person or a soul… a spirit."
SIGH!
Rudy released a disappointing sigh and muttered, "So you don't have any necessary information for me."
He manifested the void ball in his hand and said, "You are useless."
"I might have a solution for your problem. I said that it's the fate of the Lord to become evil and turn into a shadow, but there was a Lord's incarnation who managed to avoid that and became the sole survivor of the curse of the Lord."
"Nyxia…"
"Correct!" The shadow snapped its finger.
"I already know how she did that."
"Of course. She was the Queen of the blue moon and the Lord. Her existence was a contradiction. Ultimately, she used the power of the blue moon to kill the Lord's fragment inside her. And that is how she survived the curse."
"I already knew that."
"You can ask her to kill the Lord's fragment inside you and save yourself."
"She is alive because of the power of the blue moon. If she kills the Lord in me, I will naturally die with it. It's not a solution, it's suicide!" Rudy yelled in frustration.
"Oh, I see. So you prefer living forever as a shadow than dying?"
"…!"
"Earlier, you yourself admitted that if one ceases to exist, they are dead. If nobody remembers you, if you can't interfere with the living… why would you even want to exist? Why would you want to live a cursed life?"
"…."
"Oh, believe me… dying would be a better option. Once you become a shadow… you can't die. You are a part of the universe."
The shadow created a miniature version of a tree on its finger and said, "Cease to exist for yourself, not for others. Die for real rather than living a cursed life."
Rudy shook his head.
"It's your life, your choice. I just thought I would warn a fellow victim of the curse. I was but a harbinger for you, Rudy. Live your life the way you want because you sure never will die the way you want."
Once the shadow said that, it melted and dropped on the floor like water. But instead of forming a puddle, it disappeared into Rudy's shadow.
Rudy stood still on his spot and reflected on the shadow's advice. As much as he wanted to think that it was a trap, he couldn't help but admit it as the only way to not meet the same end as the other Lords.
Rudy looked at the black tip of his fingers and formed a fist.
"I will be an accursed being… fit for this accursed world."
'"Still…" he muttered. "My first encounter with a shadow was… here, in this tunnel. Who would have thought that from the very beginning of my story… was marking my ending.
It was all related to me… or the Lord. That would mean that whatever I have done… was supposed to happen. No… that's not how it should be.
Now I know what the 'Ding!' meant. Whenever I broke the system, it informed me. That means I just have to break the system so many times that it ultimately breaks the pattern."
He smirked widely and shouted, "Bring it on! I am ready! I am not like the other Lords! I will annihilate everything that stands in my way! Even if it's the mother universe!"
'I will make my own ending! I will decide how my story will end!'
Rudy had one thing that made him unique compared to the other Lords. While they may be men or women, Rudy was a teenage boy who still couldn't grasp the understanding of what it meant to be the seer of the universe.
However, Rudy had a harem full of beautiful girls who loved him and voluntarily wanted to be with him. In Spite of knowing he was the Lord and how sacred his existence was, their love for him didn't waver.
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