Chapter 118: Are you happy?
“I think it is better for us to divorce.”
Huian had a vacant look in her eyes. Everything became deadly quiet. The one thing she dreaded the most punched right at her face; and this is when he doesn’t even know the truth. Once he knows…
She was trembling. She slowly went up to him and tried to hold his hand.
Jinhai narrowed his eyes and shook his hand away. She nevertheless smiled…a little creepily and said, “Jinhai…you must be misunderstanding something. How can you call it a loveless marriage? We ARE in love with each other. I am already apologizing to you. Alright, I will never bring the topic of a child again. We’ll just happily live together like this, okay? Just you and me.”, she said as if it was not a big problem.
After a long silence, he said, “I simply don’t love you Huian. Is it necessary that I should love you back because you love me?”
She laughed, “No, you love me. I-, okay I know what is wrong.”, she nodded her head, “You are just angry at me because all the elders got against you and you had to endure all their accusations. Clearly, you have not calmed down. That’s why you are saying such hurtful things to me because I hurt you.”, she sighed. “Fair enough.”
She pouted. “But I know that everything will be fine between us once again. That time I want you to say that you sorry for being so mean, okay?”
Jinhai silently stared at her. He turned back and left without saying anything.
At first, Huian walked slowly like a turtle, but then dashed towards her room. She shut the door behind her with a bang.
She collapsed on the floor on her knees. She was mumbling continuously, “No…no, no, no. Jinhai is mine. He loves me. He loves me a lot. He is just mad at me. When he’ll calm down, he will automatically forget about the whole divorce thing.”
She laughed, “You are so stupid Huian. We are meant for each other. We are perfect for each other. Who can possibly love him more than me? Once he regrets what he said to me, I bet he will fill our whole room with gifts as his apology. But, I won’t forgive him that easily. Hmph!”
She looked down at her ring finger.
When they got married two years back, she was waiting for him to give her their wedding ring. Even though he had clarified their boundaries on their wedding night, she had the hope that he will definitely give her the ring.
But that day never came. Other socialites and her friends started gossiping about it.
Her ring finger was always empty.
She felt embarrassed about going out without wearing a proper ring. So, one day she bought their wedding rings herself. When she asked Jinhai to put it on her finger, he refused.
“The nerves in the ring finger connects to our heart. I have not given my heart to you. That ring is a symbol of vows filled with love and promises for a lifelong marriage. Our marriage may always be there, but the love and those promises won’t. Not from my side. I don’t want to disrespect this beautiful tradition when I don’t hold any meaning and feelings towards it.”
Huian was heartbroken, but she believed that one day they will definitely be a happy couple like any other.
So, she started wearing her ring. But Jinhai never did that. He was hesitant to put his ring on, but he had to whenever they attended any banquet together. When he got back home, he would remove his ring and put it aside. Every time he did that, Huian felt a stabbing pain in her chest.
She caressed her ring. “I really love you Jinhai. I will never let you go. I will do anything to make you mine.”
—
Somewhere a woman was on the phone. “You have got my identification ready, right? For tomorrow’s banquet?”
“Yes, miss. Everything is ready.”, a man’s voice was on the other end.
“Good.”
—
In the blink of an eye, it was the night before the big day.
Nana was outside taking a walk, the night’s cool breeze brushing past her face.
“Nee-chan.”
She saw Yukito coming towards her.
He smiled, “So. Tomorrow is the big day. You must be really nervous, right?”
She smiled. “A little. It is still unbelievable. Just a month and a half back, Jianyu and I met here for the first time. And now it’s already the time for our engagement. How times flies so fast. It feels like so much has happened over such a short period of time.”
He said nothing. After a while, he asked, “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Are you happy?”
She slightly stiffened. It was barely noticeable, but Yukito detected it because he was keenly observing her.
“Why would you ask that? Of course, I am.”
“So, do you love brother Chen Jianyu?”
She couldn’t say anything for a while. “I admit I may not have fallen in love with him, but it’s just a matter of time. He is the dream guy of every girl in Beijing-“
“But, is he your dream guy?”
Silence.
She sighed, “Yukito, I know what you are worried about. But trust me, everything will be fine. Sometimes it takes a while for feelings to grow. He had his ex-girlfriend Miss Tang and I also-“, she suddenly stopped.
“You also what, sis?”, he asked tilting his head.
She didn’t even realize when she was caught in the flow and was going to say Jinhai’s name.
“I-I also…I meant that I have never been in love before so I d-don’t know much about these things.”, she laughed nervously.
He said nothing. Nana felt his unflinching gaze could easily see through her lie.
“Okay, that is enough talk for tonight. Tomorrow I have to wake up early. There are so many things to do. Let’s go back.”
He smiled faintly. “Okay.”
They walked back and one last time, Nana looked towards the starry sky.
—
At the terrace, Jinhai was too, looking at the same sky holding a cigarette between his fingers.
He didn’t smoke but simply stared at the cigarette just burning out.
‘You won’t go back on your word once I leave, right?’
He smiled and stubbed out the cigarette crushing it on the railing.