Zaregoto Volume 4 Chapter 5

The way a person looks is not the way they are.
The way a person looks is just the way they are selected.1

It appeared it stopped raining while I was sleeping.
Six o'clock in the morning.
There were still a lot of clouds in the sky, and the sun coming up was iffy. However, at the very least there was enough light to be able to make out the horizon with my naked eye. I was standing on the roof of the inn, alone, and letting the wind have its way with me. It sounded cool to say that I was letting the wind have its way with me, but the reality was that I was just slowly letting my drowsiness escape.
There were a number of puddles on the tiled roof. I nonsensically tried stepping in one. Obviously, water splashed every which way. My shoes and pant sleeves became wet. I looked at that for a bit, but eventually I grew bored, and lifted my foot from the puddle.
"-- die."
I mumbled, and suddenly, with my left hand, I pulled out the knife from the hidden holster in my jacket. The thin, really so thin that you would think you could see through it, knife that a doctor might even use for tiny surgeries. Just swinging it lightly gave me the delusion of cutting air.
I continued to swing a second, third time. This was an imitation of Miiko-san, something like a multi-directional swing. There was nothing in particular for me to cut, but just swinging the blade gave me the refreshing feeling of clearing up something in my heart.
"-- wow, Aikawa-san," I stopped and mumbled. "This blade is really something."
Did even that human failure have a blade like this. It may be difficult to land a fatal wound given that it is a knife with a short blade, but this lightness, and this ease of use was a marvel of its own sort. It was like a contemporary version of ornamental knives. Come to think of it, it was the first time I had actually swung it since Aikawa-san had given it to me as a present, but I thought it might indeed come in handy if such a situation were to arise, and I nodded to myself, and tried to return the knife to the holster.
And, then, I came to the thought that there was no need to use the knife with my left hand. I am not left-handed nor right-handed. If I must compare, my left arm simply has a bit more strength. However, because the strength of the knife is its quickness, there was no need to use it with my left hand. In fact, perhaps the knife should be used in my right hand as a support? There are more right-handed people, after all. As such, the fact that the knife pocket in the holster was designed for left-handed use, and that it was intended to be placed on the right side of my body, would prove that this knife was designed for that role, would it not?
Knives -- well, not just knives, but any weapon, when held, draw peoples' attention. This is of course the case for the one being attacked, but it is the same for the attacker. If you flip that around, it means that people think if you handle the weapon then you are safe.
What I speak of is variation.
This knife is splendid, but it would be bad to rely on it. I thought that, and took off my jacket, flipped the holster, placed the knife back in, and then put the jacket back on.
"-- either way, this is still just to make myself feel better....."
Or perhaps for recreation.
I cannot deny that there is a bit of self-deprecation in that admission. The abnormality of this research facility was already enough to dampen my mood, but to add to that, there was Miyoshi Kokoromi-sensei, and then and then, Ishimaru Kouta.....
Hmm, Ishimaru Kouta.....
To be honest, when I accepted the knife from Aikawa-san, I thought there would not be an occasion to need it, and even if there were to be such an occasion, I thought it would still be useless in my hands, but, maybe it was still better to have it around to make myself feel better than to not have it at all.
"-- quite a dangerous hobby, Inoji. Instead of a Fallen Indulgence, are you going for a Bladed Indulgence?"
Suddenly, a voice spoke to me from behind, and I turned around in surprise. I figured who it was based on voice and way of talking, but in any case there was Suzunashi-san. She had apparently still not changed, and was still wearing a china dress. Perhaps she had just awakened, as she had black-framed glasses on instead of contact lenses.
"..... good morning, Suzunashi-san. You were awake?"
"I've been friends with the sun since I was born. I wake up pretty early, you know. Yes, good morning, Inoji," Suzunashi-san smiled somewhat sarcastically. "Knife-training in the morning? Are you trying to get into some foreign force? Inoji, I can introduce you to some people, if you want."
"I will pass," I moved toward the fence around the roof, as if escaping from Suzunashi-san. "I just wanted to move around a bit. Morning exercise is important. You know, I am almost twenty, right? I need to get a workout before the exhaustion built-up over my teen years catches up to me."
"I can help out if you want to train. I can be a sparring partner, too," Suzunashi-san said, appearing to not be joking. "So? Where's Ao-chan?"
"..... it is not like we are always a set. Although it seems everyone misunderstands. You know, Kunagisa is usually cooped up, right? And on top of that she lives in Shirosaki. We actually have a low encounter rate."
"Well, yeah, when it comes to encounter rates you probably run into Asano way more often. Being neighbors and all."
Suzunashi-san said that and then stretched. Based on that, it appeared she had not come to the roof because of me, but rather simply because she wanted to exercise and stretch herself.
After completing a set of flexibility exercises, Suzunashi-san began smoking. And then she said, "Hey, Inoji."
"I read an interesting book when I was being an elementary school student. I've read countless books in my life, but that was the only book I ever found interesting."
"Huh. What sort of book?"
"Yes. If you're asking what was interesting, it was a mystery novel, but despite having about five hundred pages, the latter half of it was blank. I was surprised, I didn't see that twist coming."
"It was a misprint."
"But it was interesting. It was really surprising," Suzunashi-san took out a lighter and then lit the cigarette. She made it look really cool, but her china dress ruined the cool-ness. "..... but that goes for movies, too, not just books. If you know its length is two hours, then you can always deduce where you are in the movie. If you're one hour into the movie, you're at around the one-hour mark, but if you're in the last five minutes you're probably watching the climax. There's a level of comfort there. A movie ending short wouldn't happen unless it's a broken film or something."
"So are you trying to get at... life is different, Suzunashi-san?"
"Close, but not exactly."
Suzunashi-san offered me a cigarette and asked, "Smoke?" but I shook my head and declined.
"In other words... for example, if you're watching a Hollywood movie, and the heroine actress doesn't show up an hour into the film, or there's no hijacking or building hijacking, or aliens or anything, do you think that'd ever happen?"
"Never."
"Reading a mystery novel, and you finish reading half the pages but no one's killed, and the detective hasn't even shown up yet, would you be able to call that a mystery novel?"
"Never."
"But in that sense, life is different," Suzunashi-san repeated my line. "Something should be happening soon, or, things should be wrapping up soon, or, that sort of premonition... or more like, measurement doesn't exist. So, now that we've gotten to that point, I'll get to the point I wanted to get to, which is, Inoji. What are you intending to do with Ao-chan?"
"..... intending to do? What do you mean? That is rather abrupt," I tilted my head to the side, acting like I did not understand what was meant. "I have no intentions or anything of the sort."
"You have university and yet you tagged along all the way over here, and picked a fight with Sir Utsurigi and Sir Kyouichirou... what are you doing?"
"That is a very fundamental question, but I do not know that either. I do not even want to think about what I am doing. Or, Suzunashi-san, are you able to put a reason to everything you do?"
"I may not be able to put a reason but I'm also not being paradoxical. Don't mistake reason and paradox, Inoji. Hahah, perhaps that was a difficult way to put it? ..... Inoji, I can't believe that a boy wouldn't want to hug the girl he likes if she's right there in front of him."
".........."
I could not even back-channel at Suzunashi-san's words.
"Of course, that's your own business, Inoji, but your life isn't continuing forever. I think you should let other people take care of things sometimes. Otherwise you'll miss out on a lot."
"..... you make it sound like I am distrustful of people."
"You are. Absolutely distrustful. You've never once believed someone, have you? But you know, for example, Inoji, I like you. Asano too, can't help but find you cute. That's why she came to me and begged me to chaperon you two. I don't think it needs to be stated that Ao-chan, too, loves Inoji. You understand that at least, don't you?"
"Shito-kun and Utsurigi also... like and hate and such, we are not children you know."
I know I should not even be retorting. I know that Suzunashi-san is correct. However I could not help but retort. No, this was not even a retort, it was just -- exactly, like a sulking a child.
"Just because they like the other person, where is the guarantee that they would never betray them? It is not that hard to become friends with someone you hate. Really, can you stop with that? Always talking about liking and hating just leads to unpleasantness."
"It's not food, so I think it's fine to talk about liking and hating, I think."
"It is the same as food. Human relations. People who are sensible about it find it delicious."
"I can't believe you actually think that," Suzunashi-san did not fall for the taunt. With correctness, as if dealing with a combative child, she spoke to me slowly. "Just a thought, but have you ever spat out how you actually feel in your life? Umm. That, was it called nonsense or something?"
".........."
"I think -- you can, say what you want, a bit more, don't you think?"
"..... I will say nothing. I am a silent character, after all."
"If you want. Is that so is that so. I see, so that's your defensive wall. Or perhaps just your last shred of pride? Then what a cheap wall of pride. You might be thinking that you're tricking people with that, but actually you look pretty silly, just so you know."
"Can you please just let it go," I kept my eyes off Suzunashi-san as I spoke. "I am not in the mood to listen to Suzunashi-san's lectures. My stomach is quite full, thank you. So much so that if I were to lean one way I would probably start leaking it all over the place. There is a lot for me to think about."
"A lot, eh... like Ao-chan, like yourself, like Ao-chan, like yourself, I assume?"
"Is that wrong?"
"I won't say it's wrong. I just won't say it, but I do think it's wrong. And you know, you should take a look outside for once, you know? The way you are now, you're just like the researchers here."
"What do you mean?"
"Putting up a wall all around like this, and no one knows what they're doing inside. You know, Inoji. I'll be honest, we -- by which I mean us ordinary people that aren't any special species like you and Ao-chan, and Professor Kyouichirou and Sir Utsurigi, we're scared of things that we don't know. Because, we don't know."
Scared of things that are unknown.
The fear that Professor Kyouichirou holds with regards to Kunagisa -- does that fall under that?
"..... it is a survival instinct to fear the unknown. That is nothing to fret over."
"But you like things that you don't know, right? You absolutely love situations that aren't clear, that're vague and half-assed, don't you?"
Attracted to the unknown.
The worship that Utsurigi Gaisuke holds with regards to Kunagisa -- does that fall under that?
"I am not particularly... anything like that."
"You should try to get better at lying. You might be able to dupe other people, but that doesn't work on me."
"Monks-in-training say different things."
"I'm already a monk. I don't need to do training, because there's no need. Anyways, you like the vague unknown. That's probably why you're placing yourself in such a vague position... but you know, even if it's just a little, don't you think you could tag along with us?"
"I have been doing so," I said. "But you know, I have limits, too. It seems like everyone and anyone harbors some sort of expectations from me, and of course I would love to meet their expectations, too, but I cannot meet expectations if I lack the capability. So to have someone say you failed my expectations is nothing but bothersome."
"What really is that half-hearted desire to interact with people?" Suzunashi-san suddenly said. "Hating people yet still wanting to be by people, goes beyond the selfishness of people who can meld into society, I think anyways."
"-- what?"
"If you really think they're annoying, you can just become a mountain hermit like me. It'd be easy for you wouldn't it? You'd be able to live just fine alone. Pessimists should just be as pessimistic as a pessimist, and go away somewhere. Don't think of me as cold just because I say that, though. But, people who can live alone, might as well live alone. Strong people all do that, you know?"
"Is that why you do not see strong people very often. An amusing theory. Quite a leap, but not paradoxical, I see, amusing," I nodded with contempt. "However, I am a weak person. I am a coward that hates people."
"Inoji. For crying out loud, can you stop with that?"
Suzunashi-san slid past my words.
"-- what do you mean by, stop with that?"
"Making it sound like you're faulty and that no one else is. What's the merit in acting like you're incapable? Do you enjoy self-deprecation? I don't like that way of thought, either. Inoji, I'm tired of talking about this, so come here."
"What are you going to do?"
"Punch you."
There is no idiot that would hear that and walk over. I stood in place, and put up both my hands as an answer to Suzunashi-san. She saw that and then said, "Alright, alright."
"I won't punch you, so come over here."
I heard that, felt relieved, and walked over.
She punched me.
"..... that hurt."
"Punch things that're broken to fix them."
"My head hurts from all the things to think about already... please spare me."
"Mmhmm. Your head hurts?"
She pulled my hair.
"Don't worry. It's just a scratch."
".........."
"Here."
Suzunashi-san said as she let go of me, and then punched my cheek again. It was not that strong of a punch. I staggered back two or three steps, and then stopped.
"At the very least, you don't seem that weak to me."
"..... what you think of me is your own business."
"That's why I'm saying what I please. You can live alone. You're strong enough. You're strong enough at least to not need to cling to others. ..... but, on the other hand, there's an actual problem, which is that I think you could get along with people better than you do now, you know? You said I have been doing so just now, but -- you know the truth, don't you? About that sort of stuff."
".........."
"It just looks to me like you're failing on purpose."
In April, surrounded by geniuses.
In May, tagging along with classmates.
In June, confronting a high school girl.
Every time, I failed.
But were those failures really unavoidable? Or perhaps had I actually known everything, and despite all that, chosen the wrong path?
Afraid of success, afraid of triumph.
And then, July.
In the Mad Demon Shadou Kyouichirou Research Facility--
Do I intend to fail?
"..... I am going to wake Kunagisa up."
I said, and then turned my back on Suzunashi-san, as if escaping. Suzunashi-san did not stop me. She probably thought it was enough. And that was, the way it was.
It was enough, of gouging through me.
"Jeez....."
That person really loves lecturing. However, they say I am a masochist who loves being lectured, so that may be more of an issue.
I arrived at Kunagisa's room, and knocked on the door. However, there was no response. She was probably still asleep. Last night she slept fairly early (for Kunagisa), but she was probably tired from the long trip. Kunagisa did not have much stamina.
I opened the door without making a sound and entered the room. As expected, Kunagisa was sleeping on top of the bed. She had terrible sleeping form, and half of the blanket had fallen off the bed. She was sleeping with a carefree face, with an expression of complete defenselessness. I thought, what a truly happy person.
A happy person.
A happy person.
However, is she happy?
I walked to the side of the bed, and crouched. I carefully extended by hand, and touched Kunagisa's blue hair. It was an action that did not particularly have meaning, but in any case, I did that. And then I played with the hair for a bit, and then, moved my fingers to Kunagisa's cheek.
"..... come to think of it, Utsurigi had said something similar about me."
However.
However, Suzunashi-san.
You do not know everything about me. What sort of secrets that cannot be told I carry, she does not know. How twisted a person I am, how abysmally sinful a person I am, she does not know. I do not want to be lectured by someone who does not know, and I do not want people to know anyways.
After all, what I do not trust is not other people, it is myself.
"Truly a melancholy... I am. Gosh, is this guy alright..."
I mumbled, as if I were someone else, and then I moved my fingers to Kunagisa's lips. I turned my fingers, as if caressing the lips. And then after thinking something, I moved my hands, this time, to her throat. I touched the maxillary artery, and felt the beat of Kunagisa Tomo's life, and then.
And then, I slapped Kunagisa's cheek.
"Uni...? Nini," Kunagisa seemed to have awakened. "..... huh. Ii-chan. Ukh? ..... mornink."
"Mornink."
I slapped Kunagisa's cheek once more, and said, "it's morning."
"Huh... already? I feel like I only slept five minutes," Kunagisa rubbed her eyes. "That's odd. I feel like I haven't slept at all lately."
"Your exhaustion is probably catching up. Because you keep forcing your crummy body to work. Want to go on a trip somewhere once, without needing to do anything? Like a vacation, right, like over to Mongolia. Not a violent place like this."
"That might be a good idea... but I'd never do it, because it sounds tiring."
Kunagisa slid off the bed and said "tie my hair." I nodded, and pulled off the black rubber band around my wrist, and began gathering Kunagisa's somewhat long hair together. Her hair had grown longer since we had reunited, though I do not know if Kunagisa ever cuts her hair.
"Tomo, do you not cut your hair?"
"Mmm. If I do, Ii-chan wouldn't be able to tie my hair anymore. That'd be lonely," Kunagisa puckered her lips and said. "But it'll get really hot soon."
"Your room always has air conditioning running..." I said, and then remembered. "Speaking of which, Professor Kyouichirou and the Utsurigi guy both mentioned it, but did you change your hairstyle?"
"Hmm? Ahh, yeah. I did."
"Hmm..."
Kunagisa met Professor Kyouichirou seven years ago. And she last saw Utsurigi two years ago. However, when I met her again, Kunagisa had seemed the same as she had always been. Then, what sort of journey had Kunagisa's hairstyle taken?
"Alright. Ponytail done."
"Thanku. Is boku-sama-chan cute?"
"Cute, cute."
"Fall in love again?"
"Fall in love again, fall in love again."
"Boku-sama-chan love?"
"Love love."
I answered twice each, and then said, "Alright, shall we have breakfast?"
"Let's eat first and then think of some ideas."
"Right," Kunagisa nodded, and she stood up. "Yup. And about which to persuade--"
"Which?" I asked back. "Do you mean, which of Utsurigi or Professor Kyouichirou?"
"Yup. Because problems need to be solved one at a time, in any case. Which do you think would be easier to persuade, Ii-chan?"
A difficult question. I felt like both were the same sort of problem, yet I also felt like they were completely different. I thought for a while, and then answered, "From a simplicity standpoint, Professor Kyouichirou, probably."
"That Utsurugi looks like he takes things lightly, but he is quite stubborn. Or perhaps less stubborn and more selfish. He might put up a good fight with you for who is more selfish. You both only do what you think, and only say what you think. You both act like nothing other than yourself matters. I do not know why he is so obstinate about this, but in that sense I feel like Professor Kyouichirou might have more room for discussion?"
"Well you're right about Sacchan, aside from the point about boku-sama-chan being selfish. Ii-chan's gotten better at evaluating people. But Ii-chan, that's still just an if push comes to shove standpoint, because I think Professor Kyouichirou isn't that simple, either. Remember what I said last night? The masterpiece that one esteemed scientist has built-up over an entire, proud, life -- maybe masterpiece would be overstating it, but leaving that aside I think trying to get someone to bend their..."
"I did not mean from just a relative, comparative point. There is a way. A way that would reach Professor Kyouichirou but would not reach Utsurigi. For example, right, you could ask Nao-san."
"Ahh... I see," Kunagisa nodded after a pause. "I see..... cut off the financial root? Then of course the Professor would have to release Sacchan... is that what you mean?"
"You do not need to be that overt. You just need to threaten. That would be effective enough, would it not?"
After all, allowing three outsiders into a facility where such secretive work is being performed would normally never be allowed. Even so, that the Professor allowed Kunagisa's invasion also expressed the Professor's fear of the Kunagisa house, I thought.
Of course, it would be impossible to cut off funding for this research laboratory just by asking Nao-san -- Kunagisa Nao. That was coming from a large stream that I would not be able to even imagine, and even the secretary of the CEO, Nao-san, would not be able to do anything about it, and Nao-san is not a kind-enough person to bring his own emotions into work anyways. I am not calling him heartless, but he was not one that felt much attachment to anything.
However, this sort of threat is one that is effective only because it will never be done.
"There are other means without borrowing Nao-san's power. Chii-kun -- well no, he is on bad terms with Utsurigi so that would not work. Let us assume that Hii-chan would be impossible, too. Even so, Cracking is not just Utsurigi's field of expertise, right? You could do it too if you wanted, like you used to, right? Then you could threaten something like you would destroy the results of this research facility if Utsurigi Gaisuke is not fired. That would work, too. Given the content of research, there is probably a network connection to this facility despite its location in the mountains, after all. A small -- no, no matter the size, the Professor probably knows full well that a wall is meaningless in front of Team."
"Hmm. I see..... but those all sound pretty underhanded."
"Not up for it?"
"Nope, that's not what I mean. I just thought Ii-chan wasn't the type to bring that stuff up."
"I am underhanded. Fundamentally," I lightly nodded. "You should have known that from long ago, right?"
"That's not what I mean. I meant it's rare for Ii-chan to show that underhanded side to boku-sama-chan."
"Huh... really."
"Did something happen last night?"
Kunagisa asked me while looking at me not with an accusing look but more of a blank look. She was very astute in times of astuteness. And that was made worse by the lack of any logic to it. I shook my head and said, "Not really."
"However, I have university and part-time work, so I just want to get this over as smoothly and quickly as possible. That is all. That is all and everything."
"Hmm. Sounds like a lie," Kunagisa gave me a suspicious, peering look. "Ii-chan lies like breathing. Friends that you can't believe when you want to believe them are such a pain."
"Really. I am not lying."
"Whatever, anyways. I'll believe Ii-chan even if it's a lie."
"..... well, in any case those were ultimatums..... or more like last resorts. We would have to confront the Professor head on before relying on the Kunagisa household or former Team members, after all. Tactically, I would not be able to call it sound."
And the biggest problem would be whether it would be possible to out-bluff Professor Kyouichirou anyways. Kunagisa being Kunagisa is useless when it comes to negotiations and compromising, just an obstacle that is useless in every way. In that case, the task would fall on the User of Nonsense, but in this case the wild cards I hold are too few. It would be like trying to bluff without exchanging any cards against someone with a Full House. Even the most favorable of estimates would give me a thirty-five percent chance of winning. In other words, it would be like the best of major league batters. From that perspective it would sound like it was not that bad of an odd, but realistically, no one would ever charge into a conflict with those odds.
"Yup. Let's talk to Neon-chan about that stuff, too."
"Sounds good."
I placed a hand on Kunagisa, and then left her room. I went straight to Suzunashi-san's room, but when I opened the door after knocking, I was surprised by what I saw.
There were three people in the room.
One was of course Suzunashi-san. She had already changed out of her china dress and back into her dark suit. It seemed she had also swapped the glasses for contact lenses. She was leaning against the wall with a troubled expression.
One of the other two I recognize. However, it was still an unexpected face to see here -- it was Neo-san who was sitting on the bed. However right now, he did not have that mocking feel to him, as he also had a troubled expression.
".....?"
And the other, this was a face I had never seen before. Bald... or rather, a complete skin-head, with black sunglasses that seem more fitting in a Chinese mafia movie. He had a handsome face but his hairstyle (for lack of a better word) and complete lack of facial expression was enough to cause me to become wary. He was somewhat tall. His posture was like an actor in a historical drama. Given that he was wearing a lab coat, he must be a researcher, however...
"..... huh...?"
I had already met with every researcher last night. Then who is this bald man? Who in the world is he? Assuming there is no mistake in Chii-kun's information. Who is this man naturally sitting next to Neo-san.
"Good morning."
It was Neo-san who greeted me as I stood at the door.
"Were you able to sleep well last night?"
"..... yes.... although I would not say it was the most comforting," I hesitantly nodded. "-- well, enough so that I would not cause worry."
"That is good. And, at a good time--" fufu, Neo-san chuckled. However that was not said with that mocking tone, but rather an unshakably heavy tone. "I was about to call you just now. Right, Koutari-san?"
"I don't know."
The mysterious handsome that answered curtly.
Wait, just now, Neo-san--
"Koutari-san?"
I could not help but point. That mysterious handsome looked at that with displeasure, and said, "Yes."
"What. Something about me?"
"....."
I took a step back. And then I ran into Kunagisa, who was standing behind me. Kunagisa was not able to see inside the room, so she just made an odd animal-like yelp, "Uryu?"
Koutari Hinayoshi-san. He used to be covered in hair and mustache like some monster that appears in novels. Even I was unable to retrain my surprise at this situation.
"..... why? Huh? Wait what wait what wait what. Umm..... sorry, I am confused."
"You're the one who said to cut my hair."
Koutari-san said with his low voice. That complete lack of emotion definitely pointed to being him, despite not looking anything remotely like him. He cut all of that scruffy, long hair -- no, shaved, and even shaved his mustache. Was that because of what I said?
"What other reason would there be," Koutari-san answered curtly. "Take responsibility for your words."
"....."
Wah.....
I did not mean it that way...
While caught off-guard, I said, "That suits you better. You look awesome." Of course, even if it were not so, I have not thrown away enough of my humanity to be able to say, "Nevermind, you looked better the way you were before. It is a shame you cut it all." Koutari-san did not react at all to my praise, and simply looked away in silence.
I glanced at Suzunashi-san, who was looking at me with a "see what you've done" expression. Indeed, I have no words to return.
"Hahah. Well well, quite a surprise," Neo-san slapped his hands together, and said. "That Koutari-san had such a handsome face. They say that women transform when they cut their hair, but for that to apply to us men as well. Truly a surprise, this morning. Rightly astonishing. Perhaps if I were to become bald I might turn out to be handsome, too."
"Of course not."
The conversation between the two was the same as always. Except that Neo-san continued this time in a dark tone, "... really, if it were not for the situation at hand, I would be laughing."
"..... the situation at hand?" I repeated Neo-san's words. "What do you mean by the situation at hand. Did something happen?"
"Good intuition, overseas student from the ER Program," Neo-san said. "I was just talking to this beautiful lady about that."
I looked at Suzunashi-san again. She nodded, "that's how it was."
"Inoji. It seems... well I don't know how to put it, but some troublesome stuff happened."
"Troublesome stuff."
What does that mean. Troublesome stuff that would cause Neo-san and Koutari-san to walk all the way to the inn this early in the morning meant that this had to do with either Professor Kyouichirou or Utsurigi... no, maybe it was about last night? Maybe someone had seen it. I thought, and placed a hand to my cheek.
".........."
No, I am not talking about when I was licked by Kasugai-san.
"Yup," Suzunashi-san nodded. "Remember that incident that caused you and Asano to become friends right after you moved in during February? Like that. .... no, even worse."
"..... even worse?"
I could not even begin to fathom a situation like that.
I looked back at Neo-san.
Neo-san exhaled deeply, and then stood up from the bed.
"Well, they do say seeing is better than hearing... let's head to the seventh ward," Neo-san walked past me, scratching his head. "Today was the first time I went in there, but... this sort of first. I wonder if this is karma or something."
"Seventh ward... did something happen to--"
I began to say, but Neo-san seemed to have regained some of his earlier flamboyancy, for he said with an exaggerated expression, "In short."
"We have very distressing news to relay to you."2

That spectacle was just like the worshiping of some divinity.
I had seen this countless times.
I had seen this sort of spectacle countless times. I had seen this sort of spectacle, that causes your nerves to numb and your thoughts to freeze, countless times. Last month and last last month and the month before that, I had seen this. However, even so this rattled me. The spectacle, which caused neither a drop of admiration nor a drop of of excitement, lay sprawled out in the room.
-- or should I say was scattered.
This was clearly a work of art designed to be shown to someone.
A work of art designed to be shown.
"-- Utsurigi, Gaisuke....."
Utsurigi's body was crucified to the white wall.
Like a pariah, was a comparison that I could not make. No matter what, this could not be seen in the same light as that sort of lukewarm thing. There was no meaning to describing this with words. It was just a massacred corpse. It was nothing but a massacred corpse. How, how is one supposed to compare such an absolute thing?
"....."
Both eyes, those, laughing, and sharp, almost fanged set of eyes, were already gone. In the sockets which ordinarily house them were instead stainless steel scissors. The blades of the scissors, which were half-open, were spread horizontally, in both sockets. They were in almost to the handle, so forget the retinal muscles, the blades were almost certain through to the brain.
Even that was enough to prove a lack of life, but that was not the end.
First, the mouth.
In the haphazardly opened, in the mouth that was haphazardly opened such that it was clear it was not opened to breath life, was a knife that could only be described as brusque. A brusque knife that made the knife sitting near by the chest look like a toy that was stabbed through . It was deeply thrust like the scissors in the eye sockets, and it pierced through the back of the throat and even into the wall behind. That was the lynchpin of Utsurigi's crucifixion.
And the chest.
As if on receiving heart surgery, the muscles and ribs were cut open. Human insides were visible from there. A scene glimpsed through that made people instinctively want to turn away. Made people re-acknowledge that people are clumps of meat and blood. Just flesh bags crammed with raw stuff.
Stomach.
The cut from the heart went to around the belly button. As such, internal organs that were liberated from the cramped flesh bag, the intestines, spilled out from there. Muddled and slimy. The light-black vessels of blood poked out as if they craved attention. The pungent odor reached all the way across the room. At the very least, even children who hate vegetables would not be able to eat meat for a while after seeing this. Would not be able to eat livers. Disgust preceded fear.
Both legs.
They were snapped and cracked to the point where no one can discern the original shape. Bones were sticking out here and there and it was unbearable. That was not all the damage, as the same, thick knives as found in the mouth bore through the thighs. Around the center of the thighs. In other words, that was not just slicing muscle, but also crushing through bone. The lynchpin in the mouth, and two more through both legs. As such, Utsurigi's body looked to be floating.
Crucified.
Bloodied Utsurigi Gaisuke.
White hair, and the orange-colored sunglasses at his feet, and then lab coat drenched red each and everything signified that, because it was hard to say Utsurigi Gaisuke's body kept any resemblance.
And what made that even more bizarre.
That body lacked both arms. As if torn off by something, they were missing from the shoulder. That made Utsurigi look even more unbalanced, even more unnatural, and the lab coat sleeves simply hanging limp awakened even more eeriness.
It was preposterous. Truly preposterous.
Before thinking this to be vicious or inhumane, one was left not understanding what the point of this action, what the meaning of this spectacle was. A dismembered body was far more comforting. To destroy, destroy, and then destroy a person's body to this extent, what meaning could there be?
Crucified.
The entire floor of the room was stained red. It did not need explanation that it was Utsurigi's blood. Some parts were already drying, and becoming black from oxidation. It was a terrible spectacle, as if every ounce of blood that had been inside Utsurigi's body had leaked out.
However, more than that floor, everyone's eyes gravitated toward Utsurigi's half-destroyed body and -- the wall behind him. On that white backdrop wall. That wall that was already white.
Had words written in blood.
Enormous letters, as if the final set of ornamentation to Utsurigi Gaisuke's body, as if the final work to decorating this spectacle, spelled out a sentence in blood.
Of course that was not a message from the dead. Clearly, the suspect who had created this spectacle -- yes, it was a message from the suspect.
It was difficult to read here and there, but the meaning could be understood. It was written in English.
You just watch, 『DEAD BLUE』!!
".........."
『Shut up and watch, Kunagisa Tomo.』
I.
I looked at Kunagisa. I looked at Kunagisa, standing beside me.
However, however I, froze.
Kunagisa Tomo.
Looked at the sight in front of her eyes.
With her former comrade, the friend she had come here to save, the human being she had just reunited with yesterday, crucified in front of her. With her eyes reflecting Utsurigi Gaisuke, Green Green Green, crucified to the wall with both eyes pierced and mouth gouged and chest opened and stomach gashed and legs stabbed and arms ripped off. Reading the message left for her by the suspect.
And laughed.
Kunagisa Tomo was laughing.
Happily. As if she had encountered what she had desired. As if she had just gotten what she wanted. Without any trace of innocence, without any piece of joy, an indescribable smile.
As if spellbound by that spectacle.
As if comforted by that spectacle.
As if enraptured by that spectacle.
It was definitely a Kunagisa Tomo I did not know.
A Dead Blue I did not know.
I did not know this thing.
When it was speaking to Professor Kyouichirou.
When it was reuniting with Utsurigi.
This was nothing like that.
I had finally, at this point, gradually begun to comprehend the true meaning behind Utsurigi's words, that he had left to me yesterday before a blade had been shoved through his mouth, what that man who knew of a different era of Kunagisa Tomo.
It would probably be some time later that I truly understood everything. However at this point, a switch had definitely been flicked. A switch, for myself, and for this Kunagisa Tomo, that declared a far too belated beginning, had been flicked on after six years. In the end the end of the beginning was not the beginning of the end, but rather just the end of the beginning. Whether the end begins afterwards, cannot be recognized until the end. That was why.
The Verge and the Bacteria, stood there, as if looking into each others' eyes.