The Immortal Emperor Returns Chapter 304 - The Womenfolk of Your Family

Chapter 304 The Womenfolk of Your Family

The members of the Chamber stirred; some looked as if a cow pie dangled below their noses, while some began mustering their Internal Breaths, preparing for a melee.
Yan Wushuang rushed forward and clasped a hand over Chu Xun’s mouth and dragged him back. A fight could really break out if he did not hold the fool back.
“Well then, gentlemen, we’d best be on our way,” said Yan Wushuang.
And he never let go of his grip of Chu Xun until they finally went far.
“Gods in Heaven! Why did you pull me away! I’ve not yet asked him everything,” scowled Chu Xun, displeased.
“No need, Liu. Wait till we get back to Yanxue City, and I promise to bring you to the markets there where you’ll find all the lipsticks you need – all with their full range of colors and types. You can choose all you want there.”
“Oh, all right,” Chu Xun grumbled gruffly.
The company continued moving deeper.
They encountered more dead carcasses of powerful Beast Lords, and twice as many human dead bodies.
Chu Xun would go over to the carcasses each time they saw a Beast Lord dead on the ground, digging and rummaging through the brains, hoping to find any Spirit Cores.
“What are you digging for, Liu?” asked a dubious Yan Wushuang finally when Chu Xun knelt down again beside a carcass.
“You’re a stupid and I’m trying to find something that can improve that mind of yours,” mumbled Chu Xun as he dug, not even looking up.
That made Yan Wushuang gave him a dirty look. The carcass was that of a monster hyena and he felt that Chu Xun was comparing him to one and he trotted off, puffing irately.
The hyena was strong and powerful, but it had not been able to grow a Spirit Core.
The company pressed on, meandering so casually that one might really mistake them as sightseers.
Until one of Yan Wushuang’s Human Kings reported suddenly, saying, “Master Wushuang. The contingents of Zang Fengling’s and the Chamber have joined up.”
Chu Xun’s head swiveled to look back and saw Zang Fengling chatting jovially with the leader of the purple-clad assassins, following behind at a lazy pace.
“They have decided to join up,” observed Yan Wushuang, looking rather morose. The two contingents together would make them a formidable force to go against.
To his surprise, a lackadaisical Chu Xun muttered, “I won’t worry much about them if I were you. Partnerships built on mutual interests often break up in the end – ironically – for the same reason they stood together in the first place. It’s just like building castles on sand.”
Yan Wushuang found himself agreeing and he nodded.
“But you are right that them joining up together will make them very difficult opponents to deal with. No faction should be stronger than others here,” uttered Chu Xun.
“You’ve got an idea, Liu?”
Chu Xun revealed a cryptic but wicked grin. He spun around suddenly and waved a hand fervently at him, like friends who have long been separated from each other.
“That man seems to be waving at you, Zang,” noted the leader of the purple-clad assassins of the Chamber, his eyes flashing with dislike.
Zang Fengling saw it himself even before he was told of it. But he was trying to do his best to ignore Chu Xun and hence had been pretending to not see him.
But the leader of the purple-clad assassins was pointing at Chu Xun, leaving Zang Fengling with no choice but to call out loudly, “What is it, my friend?”
“Come here, Zang,” Chu Xun shouted at him, “I need to tell you something. It’s about the womenfolk of your family!”
What?! Zang Fengling turned startled. It involves the womenfolk of the Zang Family?! Whatever Chu Xun might be up to, it sounded ominous and he would never take any risk when it came to the interest of his clan.
“Excuse me for a moment, Pan.”
Pan Chengfeng, the leader of the purple-clad assassins nodded with a wary eye on him.
Zang Fengling hurriedly cantered forward and caught up with Chu Xun and his companions.
“What is it?”
“Did you notice the lipstick those members of the Chamber applied to their lips? Do you think they look good with it?” asked Chu Xun vaguely.
Zeng Fengling’s forehead creased deeply with disbelief. What lipstick?! He almost blurted. That’s the aftereffect of whatever diabolical magic they practice, you buffoon! No man would wear lipstick, idiot!
“I hope you did not call me here to discuss something as trivial as this?”
“Of course I did!” exclaimed Chu Xun, “Don’t you want to know from where they found such gorgeous lipsticks? I’m sure the womenfolk of your family would be so pleased if you could procure some for them!”
“And this is the matter that involves the womenfolk of the Zang Family? This is the matter you wish to tell me?!” Zang Fengling was losing grip on his temper.
“Come on, this is serious! All women crave to be beautiful and attractive. Buy them something like that and I’m sure you’d be showered with love and adoration.”
Zang Fengling’s face sank so dark that one might mistake him for the bottom of a pan. Cracking his knuckles, he grimaced at his own foolishness. I knew this bumbling fool is only causing a fanfare for nothing. But why on earth did I decide to trust him!?
“V-V-Very well...” he managed a growl so bitter that his own hands were shaking with burning rage. With a cold snort and a flail of his sleeve, he wheeled back around and left.
“Remember what I told you, Zang!” Chu Xun yelled from over his shoulders as he rejoined his men behind.
Zang Fengling felt a knot tying in his gut. How on earth could there actually be anyone so insufferable?!
Pan Chengfeng had been watching everything from a distance with interest. As Zang Fengling rejoined him, he asked, “What did he tell you, Zang?”
“It’s nothing,” Zang growled, reluctant to divulge the shameful fact of how he had been outplayed like a fool. Especially since he could never bring himself to tell Pan Chengfeng about his short talk with Chu Xun that centered around the “lipstick” that the members of the Chamber wear. The latter might turn angry at him instead.
But his short and brusque deflection left Pan Chengfeng suspicious instead. Then he caught Chu Xun turning back to flash a wicked grin at him. A dread loomed in his mind, frightening him: could Zang Fengling and Yan Wushuang have come to an agreement to betray me?!
As Chu Xun said before, putting faith in partnerships of mutual interests is tantamount to building a castle on sand. Pan began dreading if his newly-forged partnership might ultimately end up with him being backstabbed and murdered.
“I’m afraid I just remember I have some things to attend to, Zang. Do go on without me. I’ll catch up later,” he said.
Noticing Pan’s sudden strange behavior, Zang Fengling immediately realized what was going on: Pan Chengfeng was suspicious of him! This was all a ploy all thanks to that blasted bumpkin of a fool!
Knowing full well that his alliance with the Chamber of Purple Garment was already crumbling even before it began due to the seed of doubt, Zang Fengling understood full well nothing would be able to turn it around. If anything, trying hard to reverse things could only make things worse.
You bumbling fool of an oaf, Zang Fengling seethed at Chu Xun, I’ll remember this.𝗳𝔯𝒆e𝘸𝗲𝗯𝓷𝗼𝘃𝘦l. 𝒄o𝓂
“Very well then, Pan. I shall hope to meet you again at the ruins then.”
“And I wish you the same as well.”
And so ended the alliance between Zang Fengling and the Chamber, all thanks to Chu Xun’s simple sabotage.
The detachment of the contingent of the Chamber from Zang Fengling’s men did not go unnoticed by Yan Wushuang who cast a long stare at Chu Xun. He knew that he needed to reevaluate Chu Xun, who had turned out be as vexatious as he was cunning.
“Quit staring,” Chu Xun squinted at him with derision, “With that brain of yours, I bet you would still be thanking me even after I stabbed you in the back.”
“...” Yan Wushuang’s grip of his sword trembled as it hummed in its sheath. If only I could draw my sword at you, my friend.
As the proud son of the prestigious Yan Family, he doubted he had ever suffered more ignominy in his life than he had in just this day alone and it was all because of Chu Xun.
Nevertheless, upon deeper deliberation, he realized that by being able to behave and admit his thoughts so candidly, Chu Xun was showing that he harbored no ill will towards him. In fact, he was right; there has been one too many opportunities which he could have used to betray him if he so chose to.
As Zang Fengling’s pace brought him closer to them, Chu Xun yelled loudly to him, “Master Zang! So, have you asked those men from where did they buy their lipsticks?”
Zang Fengling felt as if his insides were rumbling with discomfort at him suppressing his urge to throw himself on Chu Xun.
“I wonder if you know what makes you so insufferable, friend,” Zang Fengling muttered grumpily.
“Of course I do,” Chu Xun beamed suddenly, “The answer is: people like you. I told you to ask the men from the Chamber from where did they procure their lipsticks, so that you could get some for your mother, your sisters, or even your wives and mistresses. Only, you didn’t. That means you don’t love them. This is bad. Very bad indeed. It shows that you are neither a filial son, nor a loving brother, and certainly not a doting husband. That is why people like you are the most insufferable of all.”
Zang Fengling felt the corners of his lips twitching uncontrollably. If not for the fear of Yan Wushuang, he would have long attacked this loudmouthed oaf.
“Yan,” he said suddenly, “You should choose your friends wisely. There are fools who can bring you enough trouble to cost you your life if you but only draw too close.”
“Indeed, Yan,” quipped Chu Xun, “You need to be wise in choosing your friends. Take Master Zang for example. People like him, you should keep him close to your chest, or else, how would you know who was it who had taken the Soul-nourishing Lotus of your family?”
You ignorant bastard... Zang Fengling almost blurted out loud.
He needed to get out of this place. Away from this accursed man and his mouth! With a snort, he brusquely walked away without a word, leading his men ahead.
“How rude!” Chu Xun grumbled.
Yan Wushuang tried holding back a smirk at Chu Xun’s incessant badgering of Zang Fengling and remembered how it happened in a similar manner last night. He could almost remember how Zang Fengling was fuming with rage then.
“The ruins should be appearing any moment now, Liu,” said Yan Wushuang, casting a long gaze up the sky.
“Let us get on then.”
The company picked up their pace.
Their hike turned uneventful and smooth with any impediments plowed away by other groups of explorers whom they let pass earlier.
The depth of the glen exceeded Chu Xun’s expectation that from South to North they trekked, passing almost the entire length of the Kunlun Mountain.
The hike took almost an hour, during which, they encountered several scores of explorers and almost every one of them looked haggard and battered with grievous casualties and wounded amongst them.
Unlike the narrower parts of the inlet that led them here into the center of the glen, they found themselves in a wide clearing where more strangely-misshapen monolithic rock columns scattered everywhere, amidst them intertwined many huge ice pillars and tall ancient trees. It was as if standing in a wide frozen lake, for underneath their feet, they could hear and feel the bubbling rush of water.
As they walked past the beaten, the wounded, and the dead; many surviving explorers looked up with expressions of frustration and discontent. They had come after Yan Wushuang, only to be lured into a trap and ended up as fodder instead.
“Look there,” pointed out one of Yan Wushuang’s retainers suddenly.
Chu Xun and his companions looked in the direction he pointed to and frowns formed on their faces. Far away, behind a humungously-huge boulder was a blurry mass of animals – Beast Lords and their hordes.
“Something is really wrong with the ruins here,” Chu Xun observed quietly. It was rare for beasts to compete with humans for prizes, magical nature or not, and yet here and now, the competition had turned fiercer with the inclusion of the Beast Lords into the fray.
“Where are the ruins?” asked Chu Xun.
Yan Wushuang’s finger came up, aiming straight at a large piece of rock shaped like an opened paper fan hulking tens of meters tall like a barrier or a screen created by Nature itself.
“Whenever the ancient ruins appear, the huge storm system will encompass the entire peripherals of the ruins for almost a thousand meters, starting from there.”
“I’m going to have a look.”
“No, Liu,” Yan Wushuang tried to stop him, “I’ve examined that stone. It’s nothing but an ordinary rock. There’s nothing special about it.”
“With that brain of yours, you’d forgive me for thinking that you might have missed something,” scowled Chu Xun at him through narrowed eyes, “Bring them to somewhere safe. I’ll rejoin you in a minute.”
“...” Yan Wushuang’s lips twisted with annoyance as he wrestled with the idea of drawing his sword again.
Chu Xun paced towards the opened fan-shaped piece of rock and walked around it, knocking and tapping around it curiously while finding that it looked even larger from behind – like a small little hill.
The other explorers around him smirked and sneered at him. They had examined the rock themselves before and found nothing too.
Crack!
The noise shot into the air.
Chu Xun jerked his head around and saw a tiger – a handsome beast with fur as bright as fire and its girth as large as a huge sand dune – baring its razor-sharp teeth at him. The cracking noise came from the rock it had just crushed under its paw.
With eyes as red as fury and as large as a clocktower bell, it held Chu Xun in a fixing stare.
“Whatcha staring at? Wait till I carve off your phallus and sell it to Zang Fengling! Heaven knows he’d need it, with his shenkui problem and all that,” taunted Chu Xun fearlessly.
Standing in the desolate clearing amid stone and ice, his words echoed easily far and wide.
His brazen challenge of the Beast Lord left everyone around gawking with their jaws dropped. The aura emanating from the tiger was no weaker than even a Seventh-grade Human King and any other man would have already been flinching and shivering with fear – any other man except for this oaf who dared to taunt it!
As if the situation could not be any more dire, he even mentioned Zang Fengling! Is this oaf looking for suicide by angering a Seventh-grade Beast Lord and a Seventh-grade Human King?!