New Times, New Hell Chapter 11 - Outdated Underworld Law

Chapter 11 - Outdated Underworld Law

Hong Gentou’s sudden rage caused chaos in the reincarnation hall. Even the ghosts who had been neatly in line became disorganized.
But in comparison with Hong Gentou, who had a greenish face full of fur and sharp teeth, Yu Zhengdu thought that all the other ghosts of different shapes and sizes running all over the place were scarier.
A certain excited old man, can you please not take your legs off and carry them in your arms as you run. They’re not prosthetics!!
Hong Gentou was very pleased with the terror his appearance caused. His entire body became even bigger; his mouth opened all the way to his ears. His foul-smelling saliva dripped onto his chin and his bloodred eyes stared directly at Yu Zhengdu. His voice was hoarse and bloodthirsty, “I haven’t killed in so long. I really missed this feeling so much——”
“You wish!” Yu Zhengdu popped his head out from behind Boss’s shoulders. “Boss, hurry, it’s lunchtime!”
Shang Que: “&#k2026;&#k2026;”
He didn’t move at all. After a bit, he finally reluctantly opened his mouth to say, “I’m not eating that, it’s too ugly.”
Yu Zhengdu had a headache. “Now’s not the time to be picky!”
Shang Que: “……Un?”
As they spoke, the vengeful air around Hong Gentou was so thick it seemed to almost solidify. He leapt over aggressively, laughing wildly, “Come with me to Purgatory——”
Yu Zhengdu’s heart had lifted to his throat. He hurriedly pushed his boss forward. “Charge, Boss——”
Shang Que softly laughed in exasperation. “I’m not moving.”
Yu Zhengdu bargained with him. “……Then can you cover for me, I need some time to make a run for it.”
At this time, Zheng Yi’s outraged cussing sounded from the side, “This punkass bitch, he dares disturb our reincarnation order!”
Yu Zhengdu turned to look, only to see Zheng Yi whip out a pistol from behind his back and smoothly undo the safety. He fired at Hong Gentou, who was still in midair.
The sound of the gunshot was very unique. It didn’t seem like a weapon from the mortal realm because there was no metallic noise. Instead, it seemed more like there was a thin cord connected to your nerves that caused one’s body to suddenly shiver when pulled upon.
There was no sign of a bullet either. Hong Gentou, who was midair and about 3 or 4 times his normal size, suddenly shook his head. He let out a pained cry as he fell, only to pause halfway as all the vengeance surrounding him dissipated. Soon after, his gigantic body provided an example of what was called “free-falling”.
Only to hear a “peng——” as Hong Gentou crashed to the ground in front of Shang Que in a pile.
Shang Que and Yu Zhengdu each took a step back in sync. Yu Zhengdu popped out from behind Shang Que’s shoulders to look at the swollen ghost bundle on the ground. Though he was still scared, his mood was very complex. “Do you guys dare to have a more scientific way of catching ghosts?!”
He was just about to ask that when the lump on the ground violently trembled. Hong Gentou lifted his enormous head, still struggling. “I want you to accompany me in death——”
Because he had fallen flat on his face, Hong Gentou’s originally twisted expression was even scarier now.
Yu Zhengdu: “Argh——”
He had just started screaming, only to see a group of uniformed ghosts carrying sticks rush in from far away. They trapped Hong Gentou in a circle and aggressively started beating him with their sticks, hitting him with their fists, and kicking him with their feet.
“Motherfucker! Ruining the order!”
“Today’s reincarnations are going to get pushed back again, shit. Making me have to work overtime!!!”
“Harder, beat this asshole to death!!!”
……
Yu Zhengdu didn’t manage to finish his scream; it got stuck halfway in his throat: “&#k2026;&#k2026;”
Hong Gentou, who had previously looked so intimidating and vicious, now looked a little formless after he was lifted off the ground. His body had deflated like a balloon and returned to its original size, but there were dips everywhere from where he was beaten. This form somehow seemed even scarier than when he had been a malicious ghost.
One security guard ghost still wasn’t pleased. Upon hearing him groan, he smacked him on the back of the head with his stick. “Quiet.”
Zhen Yi put his gun back in its holster and ordered the security guards to tow Hong Gentou to the side of the ancient well. He spat, “These unrepenting evil ghosts, only reincarnating as a beast is not enough of a punishment!”
Yu Zhengdu nodded his head in agreement.
Shang Que remained indifferent, only saying, “Contact Kang Jin. Update his information.”
Zhen Yi hurriedly pulled out his phone to call headquarters. Soon after, a pleased expression made its way onto his face. “Headquarters recalculated Hong Gentou’s merits and demerits. Adding together escaping from reincarnation, threatening a living human, showing no sign of repentance, and turning into a malicious ghost out of vengeance, Hong Gentou still needs to reincarnate into a beast for three more lives. And he’s going to get the most painful and tragic deaths!”
Shang Que nodded and lowered his eyes. His voice was cold, “After he has suffered enough from being a beast, three lives later, place him in the hungry ghost path, never to enter samsara again.”
As soon as Shang Que said this, everyone gasped. The old man who had taken off both his legs to hold in his arms dropped his legs as his jaw also dropped.
Yu Zhengdu only had a minimal grasp on the six paths, so he didn’t completely understand the meaning behind this decision. But just from hearing the name he already knew that path wasn’t a good one.
As expected, Hong Gentou, who had previously been so unafraid and thought that at most he would be a beast for a couple more lifetimes, now housed actual terror in his eyes. His entire body trembled and twitched as he begged, “Don’t be like this to me, I’m begging you, no—— I don’t want to go down the hungry ghost path——”
Shang Que was unbothered. He gently lifted a hand; the security guards all immediately nodded and forcefully pushed Hong Gentou into the ancient well. All that was left was a terrified and chilling screech.
After dealing with Hong Gentou, Zhen Yi took the chance to explain to all the other ghosts present, “As you saw, running away and threatening the mortal realm results in this punishment. Everyone please do your best to maintain order and responsibly reincarnate.”
After he spoke, the other security guards also started to restore order. The numbers on the digital screen continued to jump. The gentle female voice began again, “Can client number 1866 please head over to the second passageway to line up for reincarnation——”
“Can client number 1867 please head over to the third passageway to line up for reincarnation——”
……
Order was quickly restored, but it was clear that the awkward atmosphere wouldn’t be going away soon. Many ghosts looked at the ones still squatting in the corner with pity. Still don’t know what’s going to happen to them.
Zhen Yi was very pleased about this. The reason they chose to question these ghosts in the middle of the reincarnation hall was exactly to make an example out of them. He rubbed his hands and looked ingratiatingly at Shang Que, “Boss, shall we continue to question them?”
Shang Que nodded and elegantly returned to his seat.
Yu Zhengdu turned his head to look, only to see the group of ghosts who had previously been squatting in a line had, at some unknown point, clustered together. They were holding each other’s heads and crying, all regretful as could be:
“I won’t do it again, I’ll never do it again. Don’t send me to the hungry ghost path——”
“I really lost my mind. Being a pig is nothing, at most I would become a roast pig. Anything is better than going to the hungry ghost path!”
“Wuwuwu, it’s all because of Hong Gentou. He lied and told me that as long as we escaped we would become free spirits! I hate him!”
……
Zhen Yi pointed to the free spirit and said, “You, step out.”
The spirit shook and cried as it stood up. “I’ll never do it again, I really won’t do it again.”
Zhen Yi asked sternly, “Why did you escape with Hong Gentou?”
Free spirit wiped at his tears and explained, “I received a text that notified me in the next life I would be a chicken. I was scared……”
Zhen Yi hummed coldly. “If you were really that scared, you shouldn’t have committed so many crimes when you were alive.”
Free spirit started crying as if he were wronged. “I didn’t know the consequences to hiring prostitutes would be so severe!”
At first Yu Zhengdu thought he was also a cruel and evil murderer, but after hearing this, he started. He turned to look at Shang Que with an expression of surprise. “Wait, if you hire a prostitute you, become a chicken. What kind of chicken?”
Shang Que looked at him strangely. “Your normal, average chicken.”
Free spirit was still crying. “Hong Gentou told me, chickens get beheaded and they start plucking your feathers before you stop breathing. And maybe when you aren’t even completely dead they’ll just throw you into the pot to make broth. He has a lot of experience being a beast, so I believed him. I didn’t do it on purpose, I’m just really scared of pain. I was scared of getting my feathers plucked……”
Yu Zhengdu was shocked. “If you hire prostitutes when you’re alive, you have to turn into a chicken when you die?”
Shang Que propped his head on his hand and answered lazily, “If you hire prostitutes frequently, yes.”
Yu Zhengdu: “What’s considered frequent?”
Zhen Yi turned his head to respond. “This person started hiring prostitutes from age 16, all the way till he was infected by STDs from the prostitutes and died at age 66. He didn’t even stop when he got married in the middle of those years, and got his wife sick with the diseases he caught from outside.”
After he was exposed, free spirit dipped his head in shame. He covered his face. “I really didn’t know it was so serious, or I definitely wouldn’t have dared to hire prostitutes.”
Zhen Yi contacted headquarters and said, “The Life and Death Account’s information has been updated. We considered you to be influenced by Hong Gentou, and you didn’t do anything harmful to society when you escaped. Your actions weren’t too severe, so you’ll still spend the next life as a chicken. You’ll just be a disease-infected chicken.”
Free spirit was overjoyed at this news. “A disease-infected chicken! That means nobody will want to eat me, right. I won’t get my feathers plucked!”
Yu Zhengdu couldn’t help but explain, “Disease-infected chickens are all killed at the same time. It’s just a different way of dying.”
Free spirit: smile slowly disappears.
After free spirit was questioned, he was also chaperoned by the security guards to the ancient well and pushed in. All the other ghosts in the group had also committed crimes in life and were about to reincarnate into beasts, so were moved when Hong Gentou intimidated them with his stories. But after seeing what happened to Hong Gentou, they didn’t dare to have any other ideas, obediently getting questioned and sent to reincarnation.
And on the other side of the reincarnation hall, those who had originally wanted to escape but failed to felt immense relief. This time, the warning was clear and very successful. In the future, it was unlikely that anyone would be persuaded to escape too.
After resolving the issue with the escaped ghosts, Yu Zhengdu and Shang Que took a taxi back together.
On the way, Shang Que answered a few calls from the company, confirming the reincarnation outcomes of the escaped ghosts. After seeing the curiosity on Yu Zhengdu’s face, he let him look at the picture that Kang Jin sent him.
Yu Zhengdu looked at the picture of the egg in confusion.
Shang Que laughed. “This is the guy who hired prostitutes.”
Yu Zhengdu: “……The reincarnation speed is quite fast.”
He looked at the picture closely again, and still thought it was unbelievable. “I didn’t think the Underworld was so strict. Hiring prostitutes and you have to reincarnate as a chicken.”
Shang Que took back his phone, thought about it, and said, “That’s not exactly it. It’s just that the Life and Death Account’s computational algorithm is a little outdated.”
He gave Yu Zhengdu some materials. It was only then that Yu Zhengdu found out, the algorithm that Luofeng used for the Life and Death Accounts was based off the original standards from before the heavens split and the earth sank. Those original standards that Hell used were created 2,000 years ago and remained in use even to this day. Though they had been changed here and there, the most basic rules were still largely the same. For example, the most severe crimes, the “10 Sins”, were identical to those from thousands of years ago.
Very “feudal.”
After hearing this Yu Zhengdu couldn’t help but criticize, “That’s so outdated. It’s already the year 8102.”
Shang Que nodded. “Times are changing, so the Life and Death Account’s computations should change accordingly. But updating the standards is a difficult task, and nobody in the company is capable of performing it.”
Yu Zhengdu thought about it and agreed. It was similar to changing laws; one change could lead to many. It truly wasn’t an easy task.
He thought about the egg and how comical it was. Ultimately, however, these weren’t things he could control. He pondered for a little longer before stopping and using his brain for other things.
He asked, “What’s the hungry ghost path like?”
After a while of receiving no response, Yu Zhengdu turned his head to look, only to see Shang Que had already lowered his head at some unknown time to focus on his phone. The screen displayed the page of a popular mobile game.
Yu Zhengdu: “……”
Boss really took every opportunity he got.
After a while, an unhappy expression showed up on Shang Que’s face. “I got killed again.”
Yu Zhengdu: “……”
Even though Boss worked so hard, his skills were really not that great!
Yu Zhengdu comforted him. “Who hasn’t died a few times in a game, you’ll get used to it.”
Shang Que protested, “It’s because my equipment isn’t good enough! This guy is someone who spends a lot of money in-game.”
Yu Zhengdu sincerely suggested, “Boss, how about we try to come up with more ways to earn money. This way we can spare some for your gaming needs.”
Otherwise if the famous Ghost King’s tales of being beaten up in a game became public, it would be bad for the company’s reputation.
Yu Zhengdu only said it on a whim, but Shang Que’s eyes immediately lit up. “You’re right!”
After this interruption, the topic of the hungry ghost path disappeared.
Shang Que put his phone away and leaned back against the seat. He sighed, “Things in the mortal realm really cost too much money.”
As soon as he finished, his phone rang with a ding. The text notifying him of Wei Xiao’s money transfer had arrived. Shang Que was very pleased with his attitude. “We can continue to work with clients like these for a long time.”
Yu Zhengdu thought about it and took out the marionette. He posed it in a kneeling position and took a photo, then sent it to Wei Xiao, adding the caption, “After-sales service.”
Wei Xiao replied very quickly.
Wei Xiao:【There’s no need to be so polite, really!!!!】