Un-relate but this song really similar to how Kuzuha feel. Please litsen to it and read the lyrics to have better understanding how Kuzuha feel.
We started to walk calmly and determinedly
With the same scar in our hearts
With our backs to each other
Without looking back
We believed
We found out one unchanged thing
But we felt it was changing
And took a step back
Yet another step back afterwards
So as not to be hurt
* I wanted to say “Thank you”
I couldn’t say “Thank you”
Because it’s like “Good-bye for ever”
And too sad
** Maybe I shall be born again to myself some day
And start a journey to seek for you
One day
When I happened to be puzzled a little
By a new and unfamiliar view
Which I must have chosen
The gentle wind just like you
Blew by me
*** I wanted to say “I love you”
I couldn’t say “I love you”
But I feel it was both my biggest lie
And the truth
** (repeat)
*(repeat)
***(repeat)
Even if I’m born again to someone else
I’ll start a journey to seek for you
=======================================================
Chapter 41: Ceremonial bonfire
… My body is light.
A feeling that has never existed.
Something similar to floating feeling in the mind.Although it is sad that I just knew that I had lost my beloved mother, my feet kick the ground surprisingly is light.
I understand that the whole body is filled with force, it become stronger with each step.
Eventually, the power overflows from my body, forming a form.
My twin tails changed to triplet tails
Rapid transformation of the physical body is not the first thing.When my tail was increased one more, my power also increased in the same way.
When it becomes three, it is a little concerned.Clothes felt cramped, the new tail make a hole through my clother.
“Beast Division, Triplet body”
Give magical power to my tails and seperate two of them.
Received the incarnation, parts of me was divided instantly and they became the exact copies of me.
This skill is a beastman, especially fox family or a cat family’s unique skill. After detaching the tail, it transform and creates a copy of you with the same ability.
We become three beastkins, we run through the forest.I didn’t need long time to reach the aiming hunting ground.
It is the mansion of the lord that I aiming for. The one who does conspiracy thing to my beloved mother.
“Beat every human beings other than the lord, the other me.”
“Then, I’m going to repay their hospitality.”
“Then I will follow the main body.”
The copied bodies have exactly the same abilities as mine. They even have the same thought, because they are the same as me, mutual understanding ends quickly.
Both of the bodies spoke words in the same voice as I and they went to their respective positions.One stood at my side, the other destroyed the window and invaded into the mansion.
Following that, I and another alter ego go into the mansion.
“Okaa-sama’s smell …” (Okaa-sama is a repect way to call mother)
Mother’s smell and magical power which was felt even from outside the mansion became more concentrated when I enter the mansion follow after my alter ego.
My mother’s body that Arge-san brought back, was kept as beautiful as if she was just sleeping.
I understand the reason.Because he is think it’s worthy to keep my Mother’s dead body that way.
I do not know what value mother’s body has, I do not want to know.
No matter how great, no matter how wonderful mother’s body is, I will never forgive him.
… I smell Arge-san.
A comfortable smell and a remnant scent of strong magical power. She is the person I just met, but I can not forget her.This is comfortable smell of Arge-san.
I bet she was looking for my mother for me. AndI didn’t even thank her properly.
Following the smells of my mother and my benefactor, I run along with my alter ego.Even opening doors is troublesome, so I destroy with arm strength and keep proceeding.
Following the smell Arge-san left behind, aim for the smell of my mother who was left.
As I passed through several rooms and went down to the basement, there was a pleasant smell and an unpleasant smell.
Okaa-sama ‘s scent andArge-san’s scent is pleasant.
And, it is an unpleasant smell that can also be said to be mixed with the two.
It smells of violent.
“What a f**king, f**king, f**king …!! That’s what I did! That’s what I did !! To think I had a hard time to kill that fox! F**king Sh**!” (T.N: Never in my life, I intend to say these vulgar word, but he isn’t me, his word can’t be translate in lighter mean)
The lord looks hatred, keeps kicking the armor rolling around and repeatedly spoke dirty words.
While doing so, it seems that he is continuing to devote magical power in the center of a venomous purple magic square.
Perhaps that magic square is used for drain up my mother’s magical powers.
It consumes magical power drain from the target and keeps going, it is a special one.
Long ago, my mother told me that there is such a magic square.It is a terrible thing that a certain Devil thought of.
That magic square now has a very faint radiance.
Perhaps because my mother who is a power source is gone, I can still feel faintly my mother’s magic power in that magic square.It is no doubt that man’s magical power is locking it.
“How much time and sacrifice have I devoted to preparation! Even this magic square is stable, finally stabilized. But it can not be kept for a long time … … If this happens, I will use the daughter …!”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“…… !?”
He was surprised by the voice from behind. He turned around and looked at me.
It was only a moment that the facial expressions were obviously upset. He immediately distorts his face.Obviously, it was inferior, in the form of a smile.
“Hey, Kuzuha, I can save the trouble of going to the stable. Did you know everything and came here”
“Yes, because I realized everything, so I come here.”
“I do not know what that monster’s work is …. It does not matter what that one is, apparently you seem to have come alone, a foolish child, that you come to become an experimental animal!”
“You……!”
Has my mother been killed by such a man? She was deceived by such a guy and was used as a tool.
My whole hair standing and the murderous intonation blurs.My heart shouts to violent kill the man in front of me.
I press down that feeling, I take a step forward. My copied body was also do exactly the same movement.
I am not going to forgive him.Even so, we have to ask questions.
If you do not know, I can not get enlightenment.
Otherwise, I can not accept it.
“Why did you deceive Okaa-sama and me?”
“It will be decided because of experimental materials!”
“Is it because of power to end the war?”
“Oh, that’s right, I should finish this war.”
“… What does that mean?”
“I am a genius, I can not satisfy with just become lord of such a small land! Look! Please manipulate this magic square all the way left by your mother’s magical power,I even help to made it.“
What he raises is a staff that has the same color as our fur.
It is Mother’s power that I feel from that staff.
No doubt.That was made by taking away magical power from my mother.
“Conjure Division“
Magical powers released from the staff start to move the surrounding armor.
What he is doing right now is similar to my beast division, he is using my mother’s power to make Divisison.
We use magical power of the tail as the nucleus, and manipulate as an alter ego.
He omit the procedure when we using our power but he use magical power with armor as the nucleus so he manipulate the armors instead.
“I should be respect more! I should have higher rank! Because I have so many talents and power, If the kingdom don’t want to use me, I will come to Empire. They will treat me well”
“… … You are a foolish person, aren’t you?”
“what!?”
Desire for self-expression, inferiority complex, ambition.
It is a small and ugly emotion that exists in him.
I am looking at not only peace but fame accompanying by help make peace.And He’s merely immersing his dirty real intention with beautiful words.
I wonder why Mother was tricked by such a person.My mother was intelligent, so she should understand it soon.
Is it because my father is a kingdom’s citizen, did she believe the royalty of the kingdom?
Or she thought she can help to stop the war, the war that kill my father. Bring peace also allowed me to live happy?
I do not understand.I can not ask her anymore, so I have to imagine. Knowing it has become impossible, forever.
However, tears are overflowing and it will not stop.
My feelings are overflowing, I can not be stop.
There is murderous intention.Hatred and anger.
But beyond that, there is something much more important that I have to do now.
“I will not allow you to use my beloved mother’s power for such a thing”
“Do not worry, I’ll send you to the same place with your mother, you do not have to shed tears of sorrow like that!”
“Your talking is like a drunken man and it’s unpleasant.”
Sensation that the blood of the whole body boils.The tears that keeps flowing are scattered instantly by the wind spell that I’m using.
The armors started to move walks out to this place clearly with harm intention.
I reached out my hand to the sky.The alter ego next to me makes exactly the same movement.
“”Distorted breaking.Double misery“” (2 people speak at the same time make “”…”” )
Expanding the magic with exactly the same quality, “overlapping expression”. This skill was directly taught from my beloved mother, It was I and my mother’s momento.
It’s beyond powerful skill, because it was too strong, mother tell me this is”prohibited to use unless intending to kill” magic.Winds strong like natural disasters run through the room.
All the armors was twisted and carved until it gets disjointed.
The only safe area is around me, the surrounding area is destroyed.
Even the magic square in the wall and floor were destroyed to nothing.
This has destroyed the site for research.
“What’s happening! What is happening!? A child fox has such a strong power ……!”
“You do not understand anything, for you who can only see and care about yourself”
“what……!?”
“This degree isn’t extend to the feet of my esteemed mother’s magical power !”
“But… this staff have magical power drawing out from your mother?”
Alongside with the alter ego, I walk to him.I step by step slowly walking toward him.
The other party apparently feared, waving a staff.I feel magical power concentrates. But that is a force that does not extend to my mother or even to my feet.
“Fu, get her! Thunder!”
… I do not avoid.
I do not feel like even avoiding it.It is a weak force to solve if I concentrate magical powers into the body and receiving it.So, I did.
“Hit … !?”
“This extend, did you put my esteemed mother’s power in that tool?”
“Did you take away my mother life to make this degree?”
“”You think our mother’s power was that weak””
I have to break every everything.
No more a man like this, no more people will be harm like us.
I and my mother must finish.
“Wind Sickle” (Kamai-tachi)
The spirit magic fulfills my wishes properly.
The blade of the wind cut off from his right shoulder, the staff and his arm rolled on the scarred ground.
“Oh no! It hurt!”
“For you who can only see yourself, only this level is still isn’t suit-able”
“Hiii~ ii!?”
“Heavy use, achievements, praise can not be imposed on you, because it is given by others”
“You keep on drunk in your own world, you should wake up from your dreams with pain.”
“Help me, …!!”
“I will not save you, I will destroy your ambition, but I do not want that dirty life, I do not want to be like a murderer like you. “
“Well then, I’m waiting outside.” (Kuzuha’s copy said)
It carries something that drips noises, and my alter ego leaves the basement.
The magical power given to the body is abundant.Even though I leave it alone, She is a partner who keeps moving on my own judgment overnight.
If the alter ego that I sent earlier are not enough, I will help you. If the lord is still noisy, she will punish him more.Because we share the same mind and can think about the same thing.
“It is a really item make from my mother’s power. But its power even weaker than me.”
I walk to a rolling staff and pick it up.The arm on the side is unpleasant so I throw it off.
“Okaa-sama”
I embrace a wand with a nostalgic smell.
This is what Mother left in her last moment.Even if she did not want it, she was badly done, but I don’t feel a grudge from it just regret.
For me, it’s the only thing I can feel my mother.
“… Okaa-sama, I will go”
That is why this wand has to be broken.
Because such things are not my beloved mother ‘s true power, nor can it fulfill her wish.
At the very least I will bury it while feeling my mother.
Please send me a fire so that my heart will reach my beloved mother.
“Flower of the heavens, take my mother soul … to the heaven”
“Blooming!! Higan flowers!!” (T.N: see translator corner)
The magic that my mother was the most proud.While I was crying, I managed to sing it and use it.
I can not really reproduce it like mother did, but I can do as much as I do for mockery.
Flower blossoms blooming around.They burn slowly and wrap around the room.
Neither the beauty nor the fire power is far from mother’s flame . If my mother’s flame is a flock of flowers filling the shores, my flame should also be called a small flower garden.
Still, I used this magic.
Flower of Higan is worthy to say goodbye, mostly because it is the magic that my mother love the most.
“…… Sayonara, kaa-sama” (Good bye, mother)
Say good-bye to my mother’s power.The thrown away staff is swallowed by the flame flowers immediately and disappears.
Even the tears that drifted dry, I turned away.After that, even if nothing is done, the flame will burn the underground and the mansion to ash.
I buried my mother’s power.
Next time, I have to mourn my mother.
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Higan Flowers is Red spider lilies that bloom in the underworld. Watch a “Higan Retour” song may give you a better understanding. It’s a really good song.
Lyrics:
The first sky of the disappearing seasons Blooming in red and dissipating in white, It’s a colorful ending…
It’s the end. Vanishing senses, a circling flame Ah, observing the seasons in a crooked cage.
White flowers bloom in the real world, Absorbing many words that are blazed into the sky. Just faces without features, White hands sneaking past murmuring backs.
Red spider lilies have bloomed in the present world, Finally burning and quietly singing a wish. Crossing into his sky, silence colors the journey, The scenery is observed from far away.
It’s the end. In the frozen darkness, even the moonlight dies. Ah, the sky I’ve gazed up at is an unknown color.
I believed his days had died forever, A cry my heart goes out to in the wind of this vanished world. I haven’t forgotten fragments of those words, White hands outstretched to murmuring backs.
Red spider lilies have bloomed in the underworld, Burning on an ordinary night and singing tremorously without direction. Continuing toward the end, the tone colors the journey, Memories watched from a great distance.
Swaying, the boat goes forth Swaying, shaking, going somewhere, Too far away, carrying countless memories on board.
In our field of vision we reflect the world Many glances and stories intersect While holding in your heart memories which bloomed profusely in the end, Finally reaching the river bank.
Ah, even tonight is red; red spider lilies Are burning in the underworld, remoroously singing without end, Coloring the terminal end, flowers standing still as if frigid, Your demise is seen.
"Goodbye."