The First Battle
Ye Cang raised his eyebrow and drew three cards into his hand. “My turn! Activate Classic of Mountain and Sea!”
The Mountain Sea Boy took out an old book from his backpack and opened, “Activate summoning card! Summoning Hundun! Prepare to die! Can't believe I've gotten Hundun from the Four Perils! Draw two more cards! And two extra cards for every round. I’ll definitely discover Qiongqi within two rounds!”
Seeing the image of Hundun being restored in his book, the boy read out with excitement, “In the west of Kunlun, there was a beast that looked like a dog, hairy and four-legged and like a bear, but without claws. It has eyes and ears but cannot see or hear. It thinks like how a human does and has a body but with no organs. Its intestines are straight and not curled. Food goes past it in a straight line and that makes digestion quicken in multiples. It rejects the good but welcomes the evil. Hundun is its name. (The creature was not from the Classic of Mountain and Sea. It likes villains and hates good people. It will jump and slash at people with good behaviors but will obey whatever orders from villains.)”
“Two cards in the ambush area and I’ll end my turn.” Ye Cang was bothered by his action of activating Hundun in the first round because one of its effects is in the presence of Hundun, one card will be discarded whenever it suffered damage.
“Not bad for the first round, boss. It’s my turn,” AV’s hero was the classic hero - Zhao Yun. “Equip the Legendary White Horse! Activate its effect! Two rounds later, I’ll forever be the first to start and our boss will be the last. Draw two extra cards. Activate status card. Guts! Zhao Yun will enter into the dragon’s guts and shall then not be affected by any effects for three rounds. And obtain the holy dragon guts status at the fourth round and obtain the ability to attack twice! Equip Silver Dragon Spear! Adding Silver Dragon Piercing into my hand! Guaranteed to obtain Seven Attacks of Silver Dragon.”
“Zhao Zilong, prepare for duty!” Zhao Yun ordered.
“Shameless bastard! Messing up the turns! Low-life!” Ye Cang scolded him right away. With this move, it’s equivalent to me losing one round. “Hey, guys! Quickly restrain him! The Seven Attacks of Silver Dragon! He can attack in the next round! Everyone will be in danger!”
Everyone was speechless. Aren’t you dangerous too?! Well, Ye Cang being the last can temporarily slow down his growing pace. But, we must do something to AV’s Zhao Yun. At least, ruin the dragon guts status. Once it’s activated, his skills will be leveled up and the Green Steel Sword will activate his condition of being the Godly Zhao Yun. One Seven Attacks of Silver Dragon skill can kill at least half of the people. Worst still, he can attack twice and that’s the end for us.
“Place one card and my turn ends,” AV finished his round.
Suddenly, grooving music was heard. Everyone stared at Fang Ci’s Banana Lord who was dancing and shaking his private part.
“Activate the special effect of the deck! The Sexy Demon’s Star-Spangled-Banner Boxers! Add three skill cards to my hand and the ability to confuse one person! Select Target! Zhao Zilong!”
Banana Lord rushed to Zhao Yun and started dancing while Zhao Yun quickly covered his ass and eyes. “Go away! Go away!”
“Successful! Zhao Zilong will be skipping one round. Activating summoning skill! Summoning Aniki (Billy Herrington)! Able to draw three extra cards every round. I’m going to discard one back to the deck and place two cards here. Turn ends.” Fang Ci’s move of summoning Aniki cautioned the other players. If Aniki was not dead, fighting Banana Lord would be more difficult. Yet, Aniki himself was a tough character as he had a defensive skill (F*ck-You block), offensive skill (F*ck-You shoulder smash) and exclusive equipment...
“So, it’s my turn, right?” Cao Cao drew a card. “I’ll summon Pikachu and draw Thunderbolt into my hand. Able to draw an extra card every round. Equip Gym Badge Collection System. Whenever I defeat an opponent, I can obtain one of his special effects or skills and draw three cards. I can also randomly add one summoning card into my hands. Summoning bulbasaur and obtaining Vine Whip. I’ll place one card here and end my turn.”
“My turn. My turn…” Sun Quan’s lifelessness made him so reluctant to even shout the names of the skills. “Activating skill card. Kindness. *cough* *cough* Draw three cards. Able to draw an extra card every turn and free from damage in the next round. Equip broken sandals. Able to get an extra round every two rounds, starting from the next. Placing two cards here and I’ll end.”
“Hey, are you uneducated?! Those’re called Emperor Han’s Sandals, not broken sandals…” Liu Bei rolled his eyes.
“Hmm...let me see what I’ve got…” Lil’Wang drew three cards. Hey, that’s not bad.
“Equip SKS! Adding metal clips and frying pan into my hand. Activate status card! Silent Aim Cheating Status! Draw two cards and add Baboon’s Scream into my hand. Activate Baboon’s Scream! Draw three more cards! Summon Poisonous Snake Girl! In the presence of Poisonous Snake Girl, activate a skill in hand! Lawyer letter! Targeting Aniki!”
“Argh~~ F*ck you!” Aniki screamed in pain as he was bitten by the snake girl.
“Activate Aniki’s defensive skill! Block an attack!” Fang Ci reacted immediately but could not avoid his character from being poisoned. Aniki was in paralyzed mode, unable to make any move in the next round. “Activate hidden card! Van Darkholme’s Anger! When Aniki is attacked, Van will be automatically added into my hand and be prepared for ambush! The opponent who attacks Aniki this round is unable to make any moves and their turn ends immediately!”
“WTS! What kind of creepy skill is that?!” Lil’Wang was frustrated as he stared at the cards in his hands which was useful for performing a series of combos. I haven’t even placed any hidden cards! But luckily the snake girl is here. Her special effect will be enough. Calm down… the cards in my hand should be enough to handle their attacks. If everything goes well, I can kill someone in my next turn.
Banana Lord winked at Fang Ci while swinging his private part, “Nice, boy~ Van is coming~”
Fang Ci facepalmed. This hero’s cards are all disgusting...but they are strong… super strong...
SpyingBlade glanced at Fang Ci with a weird look etched on his face. “Alright, my turn. Equip Duel Disks! Draw four cards into Duel Disks! Summon Dark Magician Girl! The Dark Magician will be added into my hand in the next round and randomly obtain one trap card! Place five cards and end my turn.”
“Finally, it’s Lele’s turn. Draw card!” Lin Le drew three cards, “Activating evolving material - Slapping Rabbit! Draw another card! Activating evolving material - Iron-armored Rhino! Discard one evolving material into the deck and draw three cards! Activating evolving material - Dark Grasshopper! Entering stealth status next round! Place one card here and end.”
Lin Le was happy as his Water Arrow Rabbit had now evolved. From a tiny little rabbit into a standing muscular rabbit a few feet tall with iron armor, its ears were long enough to give someone a slap and had two grasshopper blades behind its back.
“Let me see how I should do it.” Huang Zhong drew three cards. Oh, it isn’t that hard after all. “Activate case card - Closed-room Murdering Case! Draw two cards! When the next round starts, it will trigger one investigation on the case. Players who guess the murderer wrongly will be unable to activate any skill cards and have to discard one card in their hand! Equip Stun-gun Wristwatch! Draw another card. Wow, this is good. Equip Voice-changing Bowtie and activate its effect. Randomly pinpoint a target and obtain one of its skills. This effect will be triggered every two rounds. Target selected. Hundun. Obtain Punishing the Good and Promoting the Evil. Whenever you receive damage, the opponent has to discard one card. I’ll place one card here and end my turn…”
“Not bad for the first time huh, Old Huang,” Zhang Zhengxiong smiled.
“Thank you. Thank you,” Huang Zhong brushed his beard.