Singer Chapter 4 - Comedy Farce

Chapter 4 - Comedy Farce

Translator: Lynn
It hadn’t been long since the school year started when Jian Jie’s school announced their upcoming cultural and art festival. The festival aimed to welcome the freshmen and provide a sense of warmth and happiness, allowing students who had endured the grueling training of their final year of high school to experience the joys of university life. The class cadres, particularly the members of the literature and art committee, were highly enthusiastic. They even devised a four-dimensional script, incorporating songs, dances, sketches, and occasional soundtracks. Additionally, the entire class was expected to participate in the performance.
The plot was simple: a princess from a certain kingdom was kidnapped by an evil dragon. To rescue her, the protagonists had to collect seven dragon balls and summon a real dragon to defeat the evil one. A high school prince, a narcissistic warrior, and a naturally poor boy coincidentally embarked on this quest together. In the end, it was the lucky poor boy who collected all the dragon balls, defeated the dragon, and won the heart of the princess.
Although the story was clichéd, it was a parody filled with popular songs and amusing dances. Based on the campus rehearsals, the performance appeared to be of high quality. The literature and art committee invested significant effort, and all 30 students in the class were expected to participate. Even those without artistic talents could perform as trees or animals. Everyone had a role.
Due to his impressive personal image, Jian Jie was honored with the role of the second prince, as recommended unanimously by all the girls. When he wasn’t attending classes, he dedicated his time to rehearsing with his classmates in the large classroom. The class monitor showcased exceptional organizational skills and even secured sponsorships from local businesses. Jian Jie didn’t need to spend money on drinks, clothing, or sound equipment; advertisements would suffice during the performance.
Jian Jie had limited experience in solo performances, and his acting was somewhat stiff. However, he excelled in delivering his lines accurately, taking his role seriously. Thankfully, the literature and art committee didn’t have high expectations for him. Witnessing Jian Jie’s nervousness, one committee member reassured him, saying, “Don’t worry, as long as you remember your lines, it’s great. Besides, Jian Jie, you truly look like a prince in that costume. You’re perfect for the role. The girls will adore you. I have high hopes for you!”
Jian Jie sighed helplessly, muttering, “So I’m just a pretty face.”
The committee member responded seriously, “That’s what will attract the audience! Being a pretty face isn’t a bad thing. Just look at Shui Xiaoren. He couldn’t be a pretty face even if he wanted to.”
“F*ck, Ou Peng, can’t you pronounce my name correctly? I can tell!” Shui Xiaoren, who was called out, became angry. “I’ve been assigned the role of a monster and made to move chairs and fetch water. Do you have any respect?”
Ou Peng, a member of the literature and art committee, didn’t take Shui Xiaoren’s anger seriously and continued to complain, “It’s a waste that a big guy like you isn’t playing an elite monster. Do you really think you look like a prince? Fine, fine, I won’t waste any more time with you. Rehearsal ends here for today. The performance is on Friday. Everyone, give it your all. Tomorrow morning, we’ll continue with the second act.” Ou Peng called out to the crowd once again. With the afternoon rehearsal concluded, the students who had gathered dispersed, and Jian Jie went to retrieve his backpack. Shui Xiaoren approached him and handed him a bottle of mango juice, “I’ve kept it for you.”
“Thank you.” Jian Jie accepted the juice with a wide smile, his eyes forming crescent shapes.
Now, let’s formally introduce Xiashui Xiaoren, who is an important figure in this story and also happens to be Jian Jie’s childhood friend. They live near each other, and their parents used to have a close relationship. Since their age difference is minimal, they have been playing together since kindergarten. Shui Xiaoren had gifted Jian Jie the tickets for the symphony concert he attended some time ago.
The two friends walked out of the classroom together. Shui Xiaoren took a big sip of mineral water as they walked and said, “Why are you being so formal with me? Are you hungry now? I don’t have anyone at home today, so let’s go out to eat together.” Jian Jie was surprised and asked, “Why aren’t you with your girlfriend today?”
Shui Xiaoren replied, “We broke up.”
“What? Weren’t things going well yesterday?”
Shui Xiaoren looked dismissive and said, “Things change and develop quickly! It was good during the day yesterday, but we broke up in the evening.”
“Why did you break up suddenly? You changed girlfriends so quickly. I remember you had only been with her for a short time.”
Shui Xiaoren shrugged and said, “We’ve been together since last semester, okay? I had to do an internship during summer vacation, so I couldn’t go out with her. Now that I’m back from school, she got angry with me and we ended things. Last night, while I was playing games and focused, I didn’t answer her call, and that was the end of it.”
Jian Jie was speechless. There was no sign of a breakup in Shui Xiaoren’s demeanor. It was hard for someone as serious-minded as Jian Jie to accept.
Shui Xiaoren acted as if nothing happened and laughed, saying, “Why the surprised expression? Did I scare you, innocent little boy?”
“Just an innocent little guy who hasn’t experienced a proper relationship—daring to lecture me?” Shui Xiaoren sneered. “I think you could become a monk if you shaved your head. You don’t understand the ways of the world.”
Jian Jie’s face turned red, and he angrily said, “Don’t talk nonsense. When I meet someone I genuinely like, I will treat them well, unlike you!”
Shui Xiaoren burst into laughter and said, “Let’s see when you can meet your goddess! Make sure to let me know first when it happens. I want to witness the moment when my brother loses his mind.” Shui Xiaoren once again received Jian Jie’s disdain.
The two continued their conversation and went to a small restaurant outside the school gate to eat. Since they had classes in the evening, they weren’t ready to go home. During the meal, Jian Jie mentioned that he had been working at a bar since summer vacation. Shui Xiaoren was shocked and said, “Your brother made you work at a bar? I’ve heard that the world is quite chaotic now, and men need to be careful. You’re not being taken advantage of there, are you?”
Jian Jie couldn’t help but roll his eyes at Shui Xiaoren and said, “It’s a peaceful bar. Nothing like that happens.”
Shui Xiaoren insisted, “I’m not afraid! You don’t understand how chaotic the world is now. So many innocent boys lose their innocence in bars! It’s bad enough if they lose it to girls, but it’s even worse if they lose it to creepy men. What should we do?”
Shui Xiaoren acted as if he was afraid the world wasn’t chaotic enough. “No, since your brother is away on a business trip, I have to go and take care of you on his behalf.”
Jian Jie felt like he was going to lose his mind and said, “Everything you’re saying is nonsense, and I’m not a girl.”
“It’s different when the lights are off,” Shui Xiaoren patted Jian Jie’s shoulder with a serious expression. “Brother Shui is here to protect you.”
“…I wish you would disappear,” Jian Jie decided to ignore Shui Xiaoren.
On Friday’s art performance, the program from Jian Jie’s class received the most laughter, making it a success. Jian Jie wore a borrowed tuxedo, resembling a prince from a British historical drama. Many girls surrounded him to take pictures, leaving Shui Xiaoren, dressed as a monster, feeling a bit unbalanced.
In the evening, Shui Xiaoren actually followed Jian Jie to the Freezing Point Bar. Despite his lively personality, Shui Xiaoren was actually a well-behaved boy and had never been to such an entertainment place before. The owner, Vincent, heard that Shui Xiaoren was Jian Jie’s childhood friend, so he generously offered free drinks for the night, ensuring Shui Xiaoren had a good time. Shui Xiaoren wasn’t clueless either. He sat at the bar, enjoying a low-alcohol drink, listening to Jian Jie sing and occasionally making funny faces at him.
“Why are you singing all these soft songs?” After listening to a few love songs, Shui Xiaoren expressed his dislike for the soft tunes and suggested while Jian Jie took a break, “Come on, sing something more upbeat.”
Jian Jie thought for a moment and said, “You often listen to that song, but I can’t sing it too loudly.” He adjusted the tone and began singing again, “…Victorious again, never stop walking; working together, yes, the destination of all the vows…Celebrate this day, this day…” It was the theme song of the 2006 World Cup with a catchy rhythm that was popular among fans. It was frequently played on sports stations. However, Jian Jie deliberately slowed down the tempo, adding a different flavor to it.
Shui Xiaoren was delighted and said with a smile after it ended, “Jiejie, I think you sing better than the original singer.”
Jian Jie also laughed and said, “I think it’s only fair to charge you for the song—100 yuan, thank you.”
“Wow, you’ve changed,” Shui Xiaoren pretended to be shocked. “No matter what, I have to give you the family discount.”
At that moment, a young man suddenly appeared behind them and said with a smile, “Young man, if you’re willing to perform with me, I’m willing to pay a million.”Author notesCelebrate The Day, Original: Celebrate The Day – Herbert Gronemeyer
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