Odyssey of the Blind God Chapter 386 Why?

Chapter 386 Why?

The warfare against the Heligav race ended in a dissatisfying manner and everyone returned back to their residence.
Nial wanted to see how his father was doing because he was a bit worried about his condition.
However, while flying home, Nial passed by Miranda and Mathias' home. Mathias was not at home, which was somewhat unexpected.
And it was only shortly after that Nial found out that Mathias had left the human shelter as well.
"So he gave up?" He wondered at this point, not sure if Mathias had been too weak-willed or if getting beaten up by his friend had hurt his pride.
What Nial realized only when he was back at the base, was that he had received a message through the Originals bracelet.
The message was from Mathias and Nial checked it after a moment.
[By the time you get this message, I would have left already.
First of all, I want to apologize for blaming you for Miranda's death…
You suffered more than enough even before our master had been assassinated, and I was selfish enough to search for a target to vent my frustration, sadness and guilt.
I know you might not forgive me for what I've done to you but I sincerely hope that we can remain friends, or stay on friendly terms when we see each other in the future, at the bare minimum.
Others might not understand why you beat me up but after I gave it some thought, I totally understood it. Thank you for beating some sense into me, and for being such a good friend.
Without you, I would have never been able to become the person, I am right now.
However, now it's time for me to become independent and to find out who I am and what I want to do and become in the future. I have to find out my future goals all by myself without anyone's influence or support!
I am leaving in search for answers to all of this, and I will only return when I find an answer.
That being said, let's see each other again in the future.
Have a great life and don't you dare to crumble!
You are stronger than you might think, and I don't mean your physical strength or even your Mana core's rank!
See ya!
Mathias]
"..." Nial was stupefied when he visualized and read through the message in his mind.
At first, he couldn't believe that Mathias had also left but after he read through the letter three times, his mind finally seemed to be able to accept what had happened.
"I also hope that you can become stronger, and find out more about yourself and your dreams…" Nial mumbled as if he was talking to Mathias directly.
He didn't send a message back to his friend immediately. Nial knew that the message wouldn't reach Mathias if he was not in one of the other shelters, and he was not even sure what to write, to begin with.
There were so many things he wanted to say and numerous thoughts flashed through his mind but he simply could not find the right words to express his feelings well enough.
Thus, Nial ended up choosing the simplest way to answer Mathias' long message.
[Let's talk when you return!]
Nial felt a bit weird after he received the message from Mathias, knowing that he was truly alone. With a heavy heart, he approached his father, who was seated in a wooden rocking chair on the terrace of the house Nial had ordered to be constructed for his father.
It looked like his father had lost more than 10 kilograms of weight and as if he was about to die of thirst if he didn't get something to drink right away.
Nial perceived all of this with a sad expression as he shook his head lightly.
"How is it possible for the man I looked up to…to end like this?" He mumbled in a voice low enough to not reach anybody's ears. His voice was filled with frustration and sadness. He felt…defeated.
It was only obvious that his father was devastated because the woman he loved for close to 25 years had died right in front of him. If Miles were to be unbothered about his wife's death, that would have been a real cause of concern.
However, Nial couldn't help but feel disappointed and frustrated by looking at his father's condition.
,m It was clear that he hadn't eaten anything for the last two weeks and that he must have only taken sips of water when his body would have forced him to do so.
"Dad, you have to drink something!" Nial said as he climbed up the two stairs of the terrace before he gently grasped his father's skinny hand.
His father's hand felt ice-cold, which Nial tried to ignore for a few seconds before he retrieved a large blanket from his spatial ring.
One could find almost everything in Nial's spatial ring, and the blanket was one of the many things that finally found a use.
He enveloped his father in the blanket, while he tried to continue conversing with him.
Unfortunately, he failed miserably because his father didn't say a single word.
"If you don't want to talk, at least eat something…." Nails continued to try in a pained voice. He could not see his father die like this, slowly perishing into nothingness.
He was all that was currently left with him to not make him take an extreme step and let depression and hopelessness ravage him from the inside out.
Even Nial began to salivate when the dishes finally arrived, yet, his father didn't move a single inch. Not even his nose twitched, let alone the corners of his mouth.
Nial couldn't see his father properly but what he visualized was more than enough for him to feel distressed.
"Do you want to worry your kids to death?!" Nial exploded after a few hours of futile effort had passed. It was as if his father was not even in this world anymore.
He was more dead inside than on the outside, and that was what frustrated Nial.
"If you want your lovely daughter to fall into depression when she finds out that you starved yourself to death after she left, then continue like this!!" Nial shouted at his father while feeling that the anger within him was fully unleashed.
However, even after he had shouted at his father, Nial was unable to perceive a single motion in Miles' movements. He had no idea how to motivate his father to eat something, or what he was supposed to do to drag him out of the misery.
Sabrina had just left the new shelter to embark on a big journey. It was great that she wanted to avenge her mother but in her quest for revenge she not only left Nial but abandoned her father too. Suddenly, Nial was the only one left to take care of himself and his father.
At this moment, Nial loathed Sabrina for her selfishness. First her and then Mathias, both had simply left him alone. Was he supposed to take care of everyone around him, while the others were allowed to tend to the scars their loss had caused deep inside their heart? When was he supposed to heal?
"Mom would be disappointed in you!" Nial growled when he had had enough of his father. He put down the plate with food he had been holding to spoon-feed his father if necessary and walked away from him.
Black wings made of the purest dark energy sprouted from his back and he shot in the air, full of rage and anger.
Since the day his mother died, he had always been on the edge of erupting like a volcano. It was near-impossible for him to control his emotions, especially hatred, anger, wrath, and so on, and the behavior of the people around him was anything but helpful.
Almost everyone acted as if they were the only ones who had been hurt and as if they were the most important people all over the universe.
It was almost as if they believed the sun revolved around them. Nial felt uncontrollable anger erupting from within him, his Heart of Darkness began to beat rapidly, and before Nial knew an unfathomable amount of dark energy shot out from his body.
The dark energy was released explosively from his Heart of Darkness, and it expanded rapidly as he began to roar out in frustration, anger, and wrath.
'Is that my fate? Do I deserve all of this? Why me?'
Various questions flashed through Nial's mind but he didn't receive a single answer. He took a deep breath, while continuously releasing his dark energy that continued to expand around him.
A huge sphere of dark energy formed around Nial as he continued shooting higher into the air.
The darkness he released could be seen by everyone in a rage of more than a hundred kilometers. The pressure the sphere around him created was terrifying and it intensified the higher Nial shot in the air, which was something that caused many to frown deeply.
Everyone, who was looking at the darkness that kept spreading high in the air, felt weird. They could clearly feel Nial's emotions wreaking havoc deep inside their own heart that was already turbulent due to the chaotic emotions post battle. As a result, tears began to stream down their faces even though they hadn't been sad.
Nial continued releasing all his emotions until he felt empty for the first time in a while. His body felt much lighter than ever after he had released all his emotions and tears of blood trickled down his cheek.
He didn't want to live in this misery anymore, feeling angry and full of wrath. It was exhausting, and so was seeing his father, knowing that everyone else had left him and that he could only rely on himself.
Nial had never felt that exhausted, even when he had been severely injured in the process of killing Sylvian's Incarnation.
Nial closed his eyes, he retracted his range of perception and the [Mana Sense], while pressing the wings of darkness against his body despite being high in the air.
He began to fall fast to the ground without a single clue to how high his speed was, or how close the ground was located.
Nial could only feel the wind pressing against him and the warmth of the bloody tears that were picked up by the air pressure.
Despite knowing the obvious, Nial made no move to save himself from harm. He felt like he would keep traveling down and his descent would go on for eternity, right into the abyss of nothingness and that feeling eased his mind.
For a while, he wished to fall and never get up, to be able to ignore all the evil of the world, all the pain, and misery that had occurred to him.
However, ignoring, let alone forgetting the pain that was etched deep inside his heart and had left raw, aching wounds was hardly possible. Nial knew that he was not the only one hurting but it felt like he was the only one who wanted everyone to work together to ease each other's pain.
But that wouldn't happen because everyone had to process their pain differently and the raging emotions within one.
Somehow, Nial felt selfish thinking that everyone should console each other, that everyone around him should try to help one another to face fewer difficulties in the future, to feel less pain, or learn how to control the pain, if that was possible, to begin with.
The reality was different than what Nial wished to happen, and he knew that very well.
A lone tear trickled down his face as he opened the wings of darkness once again, slowing down his fall.
And it was just moments later that he landed on the ground, unscathed, feeling like a changed man.
The Novel will be updated first on ReadNovelFull.com