God-level Bodyguard in The City Chapter 13 - The Assassin Strikes

Chapter 13 - The Assassin Strikes
TL Note(CPU): This chapter is not for anyone with good imagination. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, I puked three times TLing it.
On more serious note the schedule is as follows: 3 regular chaps a week on Tuesday Thursday and Saturday + one sponsored chap on Sunday
Will have something special for you guys by either Halloween, Christmas or next Chinese New Year.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“My mistress, must you really eat like this?” Chen Min used both his hands to hold the cone of ice cream in front of him. While Dream Jade was instead using her fingertips to brush off the hairs that fell beside her ear, she was leaning over to eat some ice cream. She also licked it and bit it, and the melted liquid of the ice cream followed the cone shape as it dripped onto Chen Min’s hand. The liquid was wet, and sticky….
“I’m just trying a bit, why are you so stingy?” When Dream Jade was speaking, she was even making a bubbling noise.
“Since you like it, I’ll just give it to you.” Chen Min shoved the entire ice cream cone into Dream Jade’s hand.
“Why are you so nervous? Could it be that you’ve never experienced love before?” Dream Jade finally sat up and wiped the ice cream on her mouth off, her mouth almost numb with cold.
“I was busy for the past ten years, and I had no time to fall in love. But there was a girl who constantly called herself my wife. I don’t know whether or not that counts as love?” Chen Min had already learnt how to fly a military airplane, yet he didn’t know how to control girls.
“Do you like her?” Dream Jade’s small face became nervous.
“I do like her, but I don’t love her. I treat her more like a friend, a partner, a battle companion.”
“Then why don’t you reject her?”
“Because I would get killed. I can’t beat her, and putting it nicely, I really don’t know how strong a person on this earth has to be to be able to beat her.
But we have already lost contact for half a year. She should’ve already died.” When Chen Min said this, he felt that he was relieved from a burden.
This was the first time that Dream Jade thought she was a quite awful, because she actually felt happy for the death of someone else’s ‘wife’.
“Enough rest! Let’s have a second round of roller coasters! Roller coasters!” Dream Jade enthusiastically pulled Chen Min and once again headed back to the area of the roller coasters...
At 8pm, Xiao Yi, who was wearing Bluetooth earphones, called Chen Min’s handphone.
“Friend, I was working myself to death to help you find this assassin, and you spent the whole day having fun in the theme park?” Xiao Yi looked at Chen Min’s activities via the ‘Soul Chaser’ app, and the feeling that she had gotten cheated spontaneously arrived.
“Have you found it?” Chen Min sat in the back row of a taxi and looked out of the window. Dream Jade had already played until she was tired, so she wore the mask and rested her head on Chen Min’s thigh, sleeping. Sitting in the front passenger seat,was that big grinning rabbit, which made the driver’s skin crawl.
“There are 5 suspicious characters. The top 4 all have the alibi of not being on site at the time. Only the last driver, called Zhao Qian, aged 28, weighing 90kg, matches the description you gave. I’m currently in the elevator on the way to his home.” Xiao Yi took out the gun on her waist and finally bore some resemblance to a detective.
“Be careful.” Chen Min reminded.
“Don’t worry, other than you, are there any other men that can deal with me?” Xiao Yi said as she exited the lift.
It was an old building, the 8 flats per floor design was definitely a nightmare for office workers. Zhao Qian’s unit was easy to find. The gap beneath the wooden door was filled with advertisements saying, “无偿贷款[1]”, “包小姐[2]” and “重金求子[3]”. The gap was so filled that even cockroaches would have a hard time entering.
[1] Scam about interest free loans
[2] Getting served by young women. Basically prostitution.
[3]My personal favourite out of the 3. Scam about earning big money by successfully impregnating someone
Note: I don’t know the English TLs and I’m not gonna ask or translate them… I’m getting enough heat as is on discord about being a smut TL.
All of which obviously signify that the owner has been away for a long time. Xiao Yi went forward and directly gave the door a reverse hook kick. Her 105cm long leg was like a sledgehammer as it kicked open the door with a bang.
After turning on the lights, Xiao Yi looked around the cramped apartment that made her hair stand. Leftover instant noodle boxes and garbage were piled up in a corner, and rats were currently having a feast. The bedding that smelt of mould which was thrown in a corner even had mushrooms growing out of it.
It was such an excellent otaku’s room, and yet the wall was filled with pictures and newspaper clippings of Dream Jade. From a corner, clippings of when she just debuted, to the entire page of her scandal, were posted. It was simply a madman’s hodgepodge of Dream Jade.
What’s even more terrifying was that on one wall, written in bright red, were the words, “DREAM JADE, I WANT TO DIE TOGETHER WITH YOU”.
“Hello? Are you still there?” Xiao Yi softly said.
“Yup, talk to me.”
“That guy’s very fucked up. I can’t say for certain, but those threatening letters are probably sent by him. Want to file a police report? I’ll have a friend write up a warrant.”
“No need. A bodyguard who calls the cops and a homo that looks for women are both equally laughable. You’ve already done enough. Just head back. I might reach there later than you.” As Chen Min was talking, he was also looking at the sideview mirrors in front of him. The driver’s anxious face was reflected on them.
Noticing that Chen Min had spotted him, the driver shrunk back his neck and quickly left the mirror’s line of sight.
“Really? But you look like you’re clearly faster than me.” Xiao Yi took out her phone and glanced at the GPS. Before she finished talking, Chen Min had already hung up. “So secretive...no wait… could it be that that asshole is trying to get a room with the loli?!”
The story was not as Xiao Yi guessed. A taxi that was speeding along the coastal highway made a buzzing sound shortly after Chen Min hanged up.
“Boss, does your engine have some problems?” Chen Min asked with a smile.
“Oh, yes. There's always something wrong with it, wait for me to do a quick fix, then it'll be fine.” While the driver was speaking, he pulled the taxi into a downhill slope in a small road, “I’ll have to trouble you to wait, sorry.”
The fat driver skillfully opened the hood, and yet didn’t take action to repair the engine. His eyes were fixed on the crooked chisel next to the engine.
“Since you’re prepared to kill someone, then you should’ve prepared some decent toys. Penetration types of blunt weapons[4] like crooked chisels can’t hit vital areas and the wounds are easy to deal with. I know that it’s not easy to get guns in China, but tomahawk and serrated knives should be easier to get right?” Chen Min was just like a ghost or a goblin as he leaned on the car. “Did I get that right? Zhao Qian.”
[4]: This absolutely makes no sense. Blame the raws.
“You...How did you know it was me?” Zhao Qian quickly hugged the crooked chisel to his chest out of instinct.
“The engine is new, but the scratches on the front bumper are the same as this morning. The Dream Jade figurine has been taken down so this can be considered you being diligent, but could I trouble you to change your clothes? They’re what exposed you…” Chen Min sighed as he stretched his neck and walked towards Zhao Qian who was holding a weapon in his hands.
“What do you want to do? Don’t come any closer!” Zhao Qian was so anxious that sweat soaked his back. He held the crooked chisel and faced Chen Min. Even though he was 180cm tall and weighed 90kg, he was obviously an obese person, apart from driving and masturbating, he had never fought before, not to mention killing someone.
”Don't you think your request is too excessive? This morning, it was obviously you who was following us, and tonight, you even purposely ferried us and yet you don’t let us come closer?” Chen Min said as he took off his suit jacket and unbuttoned his shirt cuffs. He just didn’t want blood stains on his clothes. “You’re very lucky, nowadays, I can’t kill people. But to ensure that you won’t be a threat to my employer, I can just leave some permanent damage on your body. Would you rather have your biceps or your hamstring removed? I won’t touch your kidney, I’ll leave that so you can trade it in for an iphone 6[5]!”
[5]Reference to a guy who traded his kidney for an iphone 6 on the black market
“Bastard! Why is it that someone like you attained Dream Jade’s love?! You obviously don’t understand her at all! You completely don't understand her songs! She's such a clean and direct girl, you can't protect her at all! You will only hurt her like that scumbag named Jun! YOU. HAVE. TO. DIE!” Chen Min was stupefied. He had obviously made a mistake. The Zhao Qian in front of him was obviously full of animosity towards him.
“Die!” The clamouring Zhao Qian summoned his courage, clenched the crooked chisel and stabbed towards Chen Min’s head, only to have it snatched from his hands by two of Chen Min’s fingers. At the same time, Chen Min threw a kick at Zhao Qian’s chest. That fatso rolled along the slope just like a ball, all the way to the beach 10m away. There was even blood coming out of his nose.
“Since you're seriously attacking me, then I should give you the respect all opponents deserve.” Chen Min waved his hand and the crooked chisel was inserted upright into the asphalt road with a “shua”.
But right when Chen Min was about to “work", Dream Jade pulled back his arm.
“You're up? The following parts will be a bit bloody. You shouldn't watch.” Chen Min flicked away Dream Jade's hand but just when he was about to move forward, he was pulled back once again. “What do you mean by this?"
“Dont hit him, he's a friend of mine.” Dream Jade said firmly.
“You know him?" Chen Min said with surprise.
Dream Jade took off her mask and quickly ran in front of Zhao Qian. Half squatting, she gave a handkerchief to him who was currently having a nosebleed.
“Sorry about that, my bodyguard is very slow and frightened you. Just now I was too tired so I didn't recognize you. You should be the one that went up on stage and gave me flowers during my debut concert right" Dream Jade said with a smile.
“You… actually remember me?!” Zhao Qian was moved to tears and completely forgot the pain in his chest.
“Please, I haven’t had many concerts. That time, you need to have the VIP pass to be able to come onto the stage and give me flowers. Looking at your clothing, I can also tell that you aren’t a rich man, you should’ve spent quite a bit of money to attend the concert?” Dream Jade apologetically stuck out her tongue.
“Dream Jade, I love you! I really love you a lot! I've listened to all your songs one by one! Those gossips and those people that hurt you are all animals! They should all go to hell…” The more Zhao Qian spoke, the more excited he got. But before he finished speaking, Dream Jade ruthlessly hit him on the head.
“Don’t randomly curse other people, it’s very rude. I thank you for liking my songs, and loving me is fine, but there are two things that you cannot do.” Dream Jade solemnly raised two fingers, “1. You are not allowed to masturbate to my photos; 2. Don’t decide who I should love and who I should hate for me.
See that cold bodyguard behind me? I like him, not because he has money or because he's romantic, but rather because he makes me feel safe. I've already gone so many years without the feeling of being protected, so, if you dare to hurt him, I definitely won't let you off. Do you understand?!”
Dream Jade’s roar startled Zhao Qian so badly that he immediately nodded his head. He clearly did not have the understanding of Dream Jade that he flaunted.
“That’s good, live your life well, continue listening to my songs. If you have some spare change, please come to the finals, I will definitely become the champion.” Dream Jade patted Zhao Qian’s shoulder, stood up and ran back to Chen Min’s side.
“What do you mean by this?” Chen Min powerlessly felt that his job had been stolen.
“If you can use your mouth to deal with problems, don’t use your fists. Didn’t you also use your mouth to deal with me yesterday?” Dream Jade proudly said.
“You win, anyway, let’s go home. Today was really frustrating.” Chen Min was also tired from the bottom of his heart.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TLed by: Sean, CPU
Edited by: Arch, SecondRate