Chapter 153 - Never Belonged To This Place
Nianzu was taking heavy sighs as he was seated on a giant rock with a flute in his hand. He looked at the sky. Sun was setting down, spreading the redness in the evening sky. Today he had a bad day that he almost wanted to run away from the Palace because his mother got angry at him. He recalled everything which happened with him during the daytime.
After meeting the Empress, Nianzu came to his room and started reading a book to divert his mind. An hour later, Eunuch Chung informed Prince Nianzu that his mother visited him. Nianzu put the book in his hand on the table and stood up from his seat.
Concubine Deng Hui, the mother of Nianzu, came inside the chamber. Nianzu kowtowed before his mother. "You should have called me, mother," Nianzu said as he lifted his head when Deng Hui slapped him hard.
Nianzu touched his cheek and looked at his mother in bewilderment. He lowered his eyes and asked his mother why she did that. "Why did the Prince talk inappropriately with the Empress? You were threatening her with words?!" Deng Hui questioned Nianzu who lifted his eyes and looked into the eyes of his mother.
"Mother, I did not want to but the way she reminded me of my rights, made me lose my control," Nianzu pronounced.
"So? Are you ashamed that you are a son of a concubine?" Such a question from his mother baffled Nianzu.
"No, mother. Why would I be ashamed?" Nianzu questioned her mother.
"Then why did you say to her majesty that you feel like you are being discriminated against? Why did you tell her not to use such a title for you? Are you disgusted to know that your mother is a concubine?" Deng Hui questioned her son who had lowered his eyes. "Why did you say that you want to leave this Palace? Do you not know how much I suffered just to see you here?" Deng Hui asked his son.
Nianzu clenched his fists. "Mother, you also know that I am not a power-hungry person. I just want a peaceful life," Nianzu pronounced. "I am sick of this. All the other brothers can do anything, but why can't I? Am I not the son of his majesty? This is the first time I did something without the permission of the Empress and she summoned me and then complained to you. I tried hard to breathe the same air as them but I do not think that I am suitable for this. Let me go away from here," Nianzu asserted.
Deng Hui frowned. "You will not go anywhere from this Palace. If you want to go, then go over my dead body," Deng Hui stated. Her voice was almost choked up, but she did not let it show to Nianzu.
Nianzu knitted his brows, and tears formed in his eyes. "You know that just for you I am staying here, then why do you need to use such harsh words, mother?" Nianzu asked. Deng Hui had turned her face away from Nianzu, as she did not want to meet her son's gaze. Why? Because it would make her weak.
"His majesty loves you so much, Prince, that's why he made you his advisor. How can you talk about leaving this place? Your brothers are always good to you. They never looked down upon you. So, do not ever bring this thought of leaving this Palace," Deng Hui told her son.
Nianzu chuckled and said, "I was never considered equally and am still not. I know father sees his every son equal but…" he paused and after a while continued, "… but he never stopped the Empress from the wrong she had done till now and is still doing."
Deng Hui looked at her son. "Son, his majesty cannot intervene in the matters of the inner court. I plead with you not to raise your voice against her majesty. Just stay in the Palace because this is the place where you belong," Deng Hui stated.
Nianzu drew his brows together. "I never belonged to this place. It is suffocating for me," Nianzu pronounced and walked out from there in anger.
Nianzu came out of these thoughts and looked downhill as the sun had almost set down. The birds were returning to their homes and their chirps could be heard. "I want to be free," Nianzu murmured and brought the flute closer to his mouth. He started playing the music he had written on the flute.
The music was the only way through which he could bring out his emotions. Everyone in the Palace thought that he was the most patient and brainy person who had control over his emotions, but none ever tried to understand him except Lei Wanxi and Sheng Li.
Suddenly he felt a palm over his shoulder and he stopped playing the music. He put the flute down. "Wanxi, why are you here?" Nianzu asked.
Lei Wanxi pulled his hand back and replied, "I was searching for you in the Palace but did not find you there. Then I thought the brother would be here only." Lei Wanxi noticed that Nianzu was sad because he argued with his mother.
"Did you write another new song?" Lei Wanxi excitedly asked.
"Hmm… I wrote it a few days ago so I thought about practicing it on the flute," Nianzu replied.
"Brother, look at those birds in the sky. They left home early in the morning but then by evening they returned home. Do you know why?" Lei Wanxi asked. Nianzu refused and looked up at the sky.
"Because that's where they belong–their precious Home. I know brother feels that the Palace restricts you but at the end of the day it is your home where we all want to see you," Lei Wanxi proclaimed. "We all respect you, brother, so do not ever think that you are alone in the Palace," Lei Wanxi asserted.
Nianzu tilted his head and looked at Lei Wanxi. "Even I am the son of a Consort, whose rank is lower than the Empress. I have also faced many problems during my stay in the Palace, but then this place gives me warmth because my family is here.
You shall look at Brother Sheng who, despite undergoing so much suffering, did not leave the Palace. We brothers might have some differences with each other, but we have something which binds us together. So, do not ever talk about leaving the Palace," Lei Wanxi rested his words and looked back at the sky.
The anger inside Nianzu had gone away, and he was feeling good now. How could he forget that at the end of the day he felt good around them even if they had a few differences? But then it did not mean that he would find the peace and happiness that he always searched for.