Ryuu Kusari no Ori -Kokoro no Uchi no “Kokoro”- Chapter 8.5

Chapter 8.5

"Brat, today's training is canceled."
"Haa?"
After school, when Nozomu just arrived at the basement of the martial arts garden, he was suddenly told by Zonne that the training had been canceled.
He was stunned by the sudden news, but Zonne continued his words while looking at him.
"You've been working too hard lately. You'd better take today off from training, so you can rest."
In other words, Nozomu suddenly had time to use for dance practice.
Zonne was right, Nozomu had been quite focused on his training recently.
Because of this, he had missed the school's notice and almost caused Irisdina to worry even more.
In that case, Zonne's words were quite reasonable for Nozomu.
"If you want, why don't you go on a date? Even though it pisses me off, but I'm sure you have someone waiting for you, don't you?"
"S-, sort of..."
"Then get the hell out of here. Good grief, why wasn't I the one who got the invitation..."
While grumbling and complaining, Zonne urged Nozomu to leave as if to chase him away.
Nozomu was irritated by Zonne's behavior, which was often tinged with personal grudges, but he sighed when he remembered that this was Zonne's usual behavior.
"Wait... I'm grateful you've given me some free time, but... there's one thing I'd like to ask you first."
Nozomu himself had no objection to taking a break. But for now, there was one thing he wanted to confirm with Zonne.
"What? I'm busy. Get on with it."
"I've been having vivid visions of Tiamat's past lately, even without releasing the [Soul-Sealing Chains], and this time I saw the origin of Alharant..."
Nozomu told Zonne about the scene of the origin of Alharant that he dreamed about this morning.
Memories of the beginning when Tiamat helped humans and was drawn to them. Humans who were in a more difficult situation than she was. Small words of gratitude from them.
She had never experienced anyone expressing gratitude to her since she was born.
In her village, she was shunned because of her birth and lack of power, and her childhood friends were more inclined to protect her.
Finally, she found something she could protect for the first time. It was a human being with only a small power.
"……Is that so?"
"Yeah……"
"Is that all?"
"No, that's..."
"Indeed, Alharant began after Tiamat helped the humans in the buffer zone. And what did you think of that?"
"That's……"
The scene of Alharant's birth quickly magnified the sense of closeness Nozomu was beginning to feel with Tiamat.
Nozomu, who went to Solminati Academy to fulfill his girlfriend's dream, and Tiamat, who wielded his power to save those who were dying.
Both of them threw themselves into hardship "for the sake of someone other than themselves".
Although there were some differences in their thoughts and directions, their fundamental feelings were very similar.
That was why Nozomu cannot hide his confusion.
Tiamat's hatred was so fierce that it threatened to destroy everything, but Nozomu himself had opportunities to feel her inner sadness as he had faced Tiamat many times in the spiritual world.
It was especially noticeable when he saw Mikael.
However, when he comprehended the beginning of Tiamat wielding her power and it turned out to be of the same value as himself, Nozomu couldn't help but feel a choking sensation in his chest.
"You don't have to force yourself to put it into words. Even if you have a glimpse of her past, in the end, it's still someone else's memory. Whatever you think of her, keep it to yourself."
Perhaps sensing Nozomu's agitation, Zonne took the initiative and drove a wedge into Nozomu's agitation.
"I'm sure this will happen again and again from now on. But in the end, it's something that happened a long time ago. It's not directly related to your purpose. If you do not break the [Soul-Sealing Chains], your consciousness will not be taken over, but do not forget the purpose for which you came to train under me."
Nozomu gulped under Zonne's glaring gaze. The agitation swirling deep in his chest was raging and making his heart creak.
"Now, you must go home today. There is someone waiting for you, isn't there? Tomorrow we will continue your training. Have a good rest."
"……Yes."
Their conversation ended there. Nozomu couldn't say anything to Zonne and had no choice but to walk away.
===================================
Since the training with Zonne had been canceled, Nozomu immediately met up with Irisdina in front of the main gate and headed for her residence.
They left the main gate together and headed for the administrative district where her residence was located.
However, Nozomu's mind kept swirling due to Zonne's earlier words.
"Nozomu, are you thinking about something?"
"N-, no, it's..."
"I heard your training with Zonne-dono was canceled, so I assumed nothing happened, but from your behavior, it looks like he said something to you."
"... Well, yeah."
Nozomu slowly moved forward and spoke about the conversation he and Zonne just had.
About Tiamat's past. How he felt a strange sense of familiarity when he saw the beginnings of Alharant.
How Zonne told him not to worry about the scenes he saw for his own purposes.
Hearing those words, an indescribable bitterness remained in his heart.
"I guess the Old Master was right, though, that this is just a superfluous feeling."
As he spoke so, Nozomu looked up at the sky while leaking words of self-mockery.
The sun was still high in the west, but such winter sun was still weak.
Nozomu could see the scene in his dream overlapping with what he was seeing now.
"Of course, I haven't forgotten my purpose. Controlling Tiamat's power. I know that's my purpose."
"Perhaps you are grieving, aren't you? That Tiamat, who went through the same thing as you, turned out to be like that?"
"Grieving?"
"According to what you said, that Alharant has already perished, hasn't it? And the cause of its destruction is humans and dragons......"
Nozomu nodded his head in agreement with Irisdina's words.
The cause of Alharant's destruction was still unknown. However, Nozomu knew more than anyone else about Tiamat's murderous intent and grudges toward humans and dragons.
If that was the case, then it was certain that humans and dragons were involved in the destruction of the country.
"It may have been a dream for her. A world where humans and dragons could understand each other and live together... But it was those she most wanted to share it with that destroyed it."
"Dream..."
"Yes, her dream ...... the dream of a little young black dragon."
Irisdina's words naturally made sense to Nozomu.
(Dream)
As for his own future, Nozomu has yet to find a clear goal for himself.
Controlling Tiamat's power is Nozomu's current aim, but it can't be considered his dream.
To the current Nozomu, the existence of "dreams" was as dazzling as the stars in the night sky.
"~!"
As he thought about it, Nozomu felt a strong squeezing sensation deep in his chest.
Tiamat was just like him.
Laughed with their childhood friends, dreamed the same dreams, and had those dreams shattered in the same way.
Such thoughts crossed Nozomu's mind.
The only difference was that she either recovered from that despair or was sealed up and dropped into a deeper despair.
"But in her case, her power, her dreams, everything was just too big. She could never have done it by herself. That's why her despair and anger are also tremendous."
In a sense, he felt a sense of kinship. That was the true nature of Nozomu's sense of familiarity.
That's why the words, "I don't know what I should do", just slipped out of Nozomu's mouth.
"I wonder what I should do..."
"I don't think you need to worry about it."
"Eh?"
Irisdina's blunt statement made Nozomu look stunned.
"As Zonne-dono said, Tiamat's past is hers. It is not directly related to you, and it is not something that you should bear. It's just arrogance to say that you should bear it. It's not something you can do anything about as long as it is already over. You can't change the past."
"Yes, you're right..."
Irisdina made a remark that could be considered harsh, but her words were right.
At first, Nozomu felt nothing but hostility and wariness toward Tiamat.
The reason why he suddenly expressed his concern for Tiamat was because he got a glimpse of her past.
"Then you should face Tiamat as you are."
"Eh?"
"There is a clear difference between "facing" and "bearing" something. Until a moment ago, you were trying to "bear" Tiamat's past because of your temporary feelings. It is her responsibility to bear it, not yours. I think what you should do is to continue to confront her with your own will."
Everything we do in this world can be seen as an act of always confronting something.
The training that Nozomu is currently doing with Zonne is also an act of confronting Tiamat in order to control the power hidden within him.
The practice of swordsmanship and daily study are acts of continually confronting one's immature self. Conversations with others, fights, and arguments are all acts of confronting something.
As Irisdina said. If this is the case, then all Nozomu has to do for Tiamat is continue to "confront" Tiamat as he is.
However, the road will be as steep or even steeper than a hardship. After all, he is dealing with a black dragon that has given itself over to hatred and despair for 5,000 years.
But if he still wants to control its power, it is inevitable that he will continue to confront Tiamat's soul.
"It's okay to be sad, it's okay to sympathize. You may feel sorry for her. You may feel angry with her. Even so, keep those feelings in your heart, don't just bear them, but keep confronting them. Isn't that what Zonne-dono was trying to say?"
"Be true to my feelings ......"
In order to keep facing them, he had to steady himself.
The pillar of that, without exception, is the "strong feelings" and "strong emotions" that reside within him. There is never a temporary feeling like sympathy.
"Yes, that's right. And that's what you're good at, right? Just like we did. Just like you and Lisa who have built a new relationship..."
Nozomu's eyes widened at those words.
Irisdina smiled at the sight of him.
"I was happy, you know. Your figure when you came to face me just the way you are. I can only wish that you could always be by my side..."
"……Eh?"
"It's nothing. Never mind. Come on, let's hurry back to the mansion, we'll run out of the dance practice time we've just spared up."
With a smile on her face, she turned on her heel and began to walk.
Her long, ashen-white hair was fluttering in the wind as it was bathed in the light of the western sun.
Nozomu couldn't help but be fascinated by her dignified appearance.
"Iris..."
"Hmm?"
"Thank you."
"Fufu~, you are welcome ..."
Irisdina was moving forward and Nozomu was chasing after her.
Looking at her back as she walked ahead, Nozomu thought back to the words she had just given him.
Certainly, he still didn't have a "dream" right now. But he has "feelings".
The friend he had now. He wanted to protect the people who had accepted him. In order to do so, he needed to overcome this cursed power.
With such a strong desire in his heart, Nozomu followed her.
However, he did not realize it at the time.
The jewel called "dream" that Nozomu so desired. Would manifest from his "strong feelings".