Tyranny of Steel Chapter 1106: Curing Depression

Chapter 1106: Curing Depression

After leaving Momo and Mibu behind within his office, Berengar did not immediately visit Itami, instead he ordered a servant to fetch the Japanese Empress two gifts. First, Berengar ordered an assortment of chocolates to be obtained from the finest sweet shop in the city of Kufstein.
Second, he commanded the servant to purchase the cutest and cuddliest plushy they could find at the local toy store. While such qualifications were, in fact, subjective, he felt that a woman's eye would be better suited to performing such a task, rather than his own.
Thus, after nearly thirty minutes had passed, the servant returned to the Palace with the gifts in hand, which Berengar took from her, before giving the woman a hundred mark bill, partially as a thanks for her efforts, and partially as a means of reimbursing her for the cost of the gifts.
When Berengar opened the bag which contained the plushy, he saw that it was in fact a white fox, which immediately reminded him of the Japanese goddess Inari. This begged the question as to whether Itami actually had encountered this world's gods, or if she was still ignorant of their existence.
Either way, it truly did not matter in the grand scheme of things, and as such Berengar placed such thoughts to the back of his mind before approaching the door to the room in which Itami had been granted for the duration of her stay in Kufstein.
Just when he was about to enter, Berengar heard the sounds of whimpering coming from within the room, and thus he took a deep breath before gently knocking.
"Itami-chan, are you in there? I wanted a moment to speak with you..."
Immediately the sobbing stopped, as Berengar waited for the door to open, he accurately envisioned the albino beauty wiping her eyes. The second after this thought concluded, the door opened to reveal the Japanese Empress, whose makeup had run down her face.
Itami was evidently quite distressed and was about to scold Berengar for interrupting her isolation when she saw the gifts in his hands. She cocked her head as if she did not understand the man's intent before questioning him about it.
"Are those for me?"
Berengar wore a gentle smile as he nodded his head before forcing his way into the room where he saw that Itami's bed was in a mess, as if she had casually thrown the covers off of herself when she came to open the door.
Once inside, Berengar set the white fox plushy onto the bed, along with the box of chocolates, before expressing his concern about Itami's current state.
"Your mother and sister said you weren't feeling well, so I figured I would bring some gifts to help cheer you up. If you don't want to see me right now, I understand..."
Itami gazed over at the white fox plushy, which immediately reminded her of her brief contact with the kami Inari. However, she did not know if Berengar knew that the ancient deities existed in this world, and thus she decided to remain quiet about these thoughts, instead she sat down on the bed beside Berengar, and in doing so signalled that he was free to stay.
After carefully expecting the plushy for some time, Itami held it against her breasts, as if its fuzzy exterior helped warm her broken heart. Berengar remained silent for some time, before finally speaking his thoughts.
"I don't know what you could have gone through to end up in this state, but your mother and sister say this behavior of yours is quite common and has been going on for some time. If you want someone to talk to about whatever is upsetting you, I wouldn't mind listening..."
Itami wiped the tears that were pooling in her eyes once more, while shaking her head. There was no way Berengar could understand what she was going through, although he was also someone who had reincarnated into this world, the man had clearly said that he had nobody in his past life that he really cared about, or more specifically that actually cared about him. However, since he was the only person in this world that was in a similar situation, she felt as if she could finally express her lament. Thus, with a heavy sigh, Itami opened up to Berengar.
"You wouldn't really understand, but I guess you're probably the only person who can hear my story, and not think I'm a complete nutter. The reason I've been so depressed these past few years is because of my past life.
When I was in college, I really liked this guy, even if he didn't seem to understand my feelings. However, I never actually told him how I felt, partially out of fear that he would reject me, and also because I know my parents would have never approved of him. Not because he was a bad guy, but because his background was from the lower class, while my parents were from the upper class. And they were very strict about finding me a rich guy to marry.
Anyway, we became separated for a while after he graduated from university, and before I could reach out to him, he got himself killed in the war. It was only after his death did I realize how foolish I had been, and I grieve for him even to this day.
Eventually I listened to the advice of my friends and family, and tried to move on from him. My superior was approaching me at work, and I figured I might as well give him a chance. Our relationship did not last long, because before we could even kiss, one of my peers murdered me out of envy.
After being reincarnated into this world and having the ability to reflect on that life, I realized that I did not even care for my superior, and was just going through the motions, trying to appear normal so that my friends and family would stop bothering me about putting myself out there...
I still miss him to this day, and I often think about what could have been..."
Berengar remained utterly silent after hearing Itami's tale of woe for some time. He could easily surmise by the last sentence she had said that she really cared for whoever this guy was. Contrary to what Itami had expected, Berengar simply scoffed and shook his head before expressing his thoughts on the matter.
"I had something similar happen to me... I don't like to think about it specifically because it leaves me with an overwhelming sense of dread. However, since you have told me your story, I might as well tell you mine. While I was in college, I knew this girl, who at the time I thought was more of a nuisance than a friend. But even so, we spent a considerable amount of time together and had grown rather close.
Anyway, after I graduated, I ended up in the army where I got myself killed in some pointless war without ever realizing how she felt. However, I doubt she mourned my death, or was ever even made aware of it because we lost contact shortly after I had graduated. By the time I died, she had probably already moved on."
Itami glanced up at Berengar with a look of pity on her face. In a way, they were one and the same. The primary difference was that Berengar had moved on rather quickly, and taken a whole harem of lovers, while she was perpetually alone. This idea had caused the Japanese Empress to inquire about the last thing the Kaiser had said.
"Wait, a second. Something doesn't add up with your story. If you never knew how she felt in your past life, then how did you come to realize that this girl had feelings for you?"
Berengar chuckled when he heard this ever so slightly before responding with a satisfactory answer.
"Well, for starters, I have a really good memory, but aside from that, a few years back, I had a dream about the day I graduated, where this girl was in the stands watching me receive my diploma. There was a certain look on her face, which I instantly remembered her giving me time and again when she thought I wasn't looking.
In my past life, I had been too inexperienced with women to properly understand what this gaze meant, but by the time I had this dream, or memory, I should say, I knew all too well what the look in her eyes meant.
Perhaps it was my subconscious mind twisting the reality of what had occurred on that day, but after the dream, I looked back into my memories about that life and confirmed that she had indeed looked at me in such a way quite often."
Itami broke out into a fit of giggles when she heard this. For whatever reason, she could not control her laughter. However, the tears that once stained her eyes were now dry, as she remembered all the times she had stared at Julian in that exact same way that Berengar had described. Eventually, Berengar joined in on the laughter and responded with a self-deprecating remark.
"I was pretty fucking stupid, wasn't I?"
Itami made a gesture with her hands as if she were measuring the amount of his stupidity Berengar possessed before expressing her thoughts in between her giggles.
"Just a little! It's okay, the guy I had feelings for was the same exact way. As dense as a Japanese harem protagonist."
Berengar forced himself to calm down his laughter or else he might choke on it, where he then made another remark that was detrimental to himself.
"Oh, believe me, I was worse... But I'm glad to see you smiling. You should really do it more often. You look a lot prettier when you're happy."
This remark caught Itami by surprise, whose ivory skin immediately flushed red with embarassment. She looked away from Berengar in that moment, knowing that if she continued to stare at his handsome face, she might be compelled to kiss him.
Upon seeing that Itami was no longer in her depressed state, Berengar stood up from the bed, and offered his hand to Itami with a welcoming smile.
"Come on, let's go get some fresh air. I think you have been cooped up in here long enough."
For a split second, Itami internally debated within her own mind whether this was a good idea, however she subconsciously grabbed hold of Berengar's hand and was dragged to her feet before she even had a chance to properly decide. Seeing that she had already come so far, the albino beauty decided to take a chance, and followed the Kaiser out of his palace and towards an unknown destination.