Chen An seated himself somewhere in the deck. To be frank, he never expected that one day he would sail across a sea as he did now, with nothing to think about and nothing to ponder over. Here he had an opportunity to have a peaceful meal he himself cooked, drink beer and look out to sea.
Not to mention the fact that the one who kept him company and who he spent this romantic and comfortable time with was Ivanov, the 'hairy bear'.
"The food you made is really delicious— no kidding."
Sitting on the deck like Chen An, Ivanov was not so well-dressed and meticulous about his appearance as he was on land. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, and a few light brown dots emerged on his shirt, which were the muddy stains splashed on when he washed the potatoes.
Ivanov gulped down rice and beer as if he had been starving. His willfulness and unkempt appearance even infected Chen An.
Chen An couldn't help laughing. Ivanov's manner of eating reminded him what Changle was like when he devoured the meal Chen An cooked.
"We were adopted and taken to America in childhood. Later Changle kept telling me that he missed the food of our hometown, so I went to learn how to cook them." Chen An was dazzled by the sea-refracted sunlight and took his glasses off, putting them aside.
Hearing Chen An mention Changle again, Ivanov licked his lips, "You're going to live your life in solitude, aren't you? Well, I have no idea why you were reborn, but could you please think it over? Maybe it's due to your lovely little brother who wanted you to live again?"
Moving closer to Chen An, Ivanov picked beer up and gestured for the man to drink together.
He drank a mouthful of beer and continued, "Those who wallowed in the past have no future. Since your brother loved you and was willing to die for you, he must hope to see you live well instead of having a hard life and being alone."
Glib as he was, Ivanov had a far quicker insight and much wider horizons into many things than ordinary people. Although he only said a few words, Chen An was moved a little.
"Old Fox, you are sometimes more than clever and cunning, but are pretty slow in personal feelings. If you love your brother, you must let him die in peace and stop tormenting yourself."
Chen An was aware that Ivanov said these words on purpose, and he knew clearly that the 'hairy bear' intended to make him open his heart. However, he had to admit that Ivanov was right.
As his beloved younger brother, Changle always cherished a hope that Chang'an could live a happy life.
Chen An simply regretted that he failed to render all his love to his brother.
So he sought solace in Lu Feng, who bore a close resemblance to Changle. He gave Lu Feng everything except his love.
In his heart, Changle was the one and only and always had a sole place in his affections.
When he pointed his gun at himself, he thought he could finally meet his brother.
But now he's still alive.
Ivanov was right. Changle didn't want him to die and saved his life once again, which probably led to his rebirth.
Now that he had failed to live up to Changle's expectations before, this time he couldn't end his life again.
Chen An sat on the deck looking out to sea until the night closed in, when orange lights fell across the sea and the sky was lurid with the setting sun as though there were flames burning.
"Baby?"
No response.
"An?"
No response again.
Ivanov crept up to Chen An, crouched down and patted him on the shoulder. The guy put one hand on his forehead and grabbed Ivanov's hand, saying with a weary sigh, "Take me down."
The beer bottle was empty. It fell on the deck and rolled to the corner when the sea breeze was blowing.
Ivanov supported Chen An with his hands and took him into the cabin room. The guy was visibly drunk and lay on the bed. Ivanov helped to take off his shoes and socks.
"Are you sleepy, baby?" Sitting by the bed, Ivanov began to unbutton Chen An's shirt.
As the clothes unfolded, a bare-chested Chen An leaped out at Ivanov. The hickeys in his chest Ivanov left several days ago were mostly gone, leaving only a few bite marks there. Ivanov reached out and stroked his chest tenderly. Staring at the calm face, he bent and kissed Chen An on the lips, which was soft and beer-scented.
God knows, Chen An got drunk every time he consumed alcohol, of which Ivanov was overly fond.
Laying his fingers on Chen An's waistband, Ivanov broke into a sly smile, "Baby, I don't expect you to fall in love with me immediately, but I believe your body will love me first."