Chapter 20: Chapter 20.
Chapter 20.
Siwoo asked, “So when you started working at this company, you unexpectedly met your type, and it just turned out to be a man? Sounds like a typical gay story.”
Shin replied, “Actually, he wasn’t my type. He isn’t pretty or feminine. He just is a… man.”
Siwoo was on his third cup of gin and tonic. Shin looked down but Siwoo lifted his chin. Shin pulled back from Siwoo’s hand and covered his chin. It was one of Shin’s habit.s Whenever he felt embarrassed or shy, his chin trembled a little, so he tried to hide it with his hand.
Siwoo asked, “Just a man? I don’t think so. Definitely not JUST a man, since when you talk about him, you look smitten.”
“…”
“Do you remember how many gorgeous girls I introduced you to during college? You didn’t show any interest at the time, and now, here you are.”
Siwoo laughed, thinking how ironic this situation was. He pushed his hair back and when he saw Shin’s serious eyes, Siwoo realized that this was the real deal.
Siwoo asked, “Hey, isn’t this the first time ever you asked anyone for dating advice?”
“Yeah.”
“…hmm…”
Siwoo sighed and murmured, “Someone like you… it gets crazy when someone like you falls in love.” He then turned to Hidden and asked for a cigarette.
Hidden nodded and handed Siwoo one. Siwoo smiled seductively and caressed Hidden’s finger. Shin saw this and smacked Siwoo’s hand.
“Siwoo, if you keep that up, you are going to get arrested for sexual harassment someday.”
“What are you talking about? I just like him, that’s all. I like touching people.”
“And are you sure Hidden likes it too?”
“Hey, I can do whatever I want!”
Siwoo could be stubborn, but he was also a serious man. After graduation, he got hired by an advertisement company, but soon, Siwoo planned on quitting because he got an offer from a content-producing company. Siwoo was involved in creating a cooking advertisement, and while doing this, he became close to many chefs. It seemed that Siwoo wanted to get involved in making culinary content.
Or maybe it was because Siwoo was dating a chef.
Shin asked him, “By the way, didn’t you quit smoking?”
“It just makes me feel more relaxed when I’m holding a cigarette.”
“And it wasn’t because you wanted an excuse to touch Hidden’s finger?”
“Shut up. Just tell me what your man is like.”
Shin became quiet as he looked at Siwoo for a long time. Since high school, Siwoo looked shy and introverted, yet he spoke rather roughly. He swore much more than Shin did. There were times when Siwoo’s eyes filled with darkness. Shin knew he was safe from him, but many men who liked Siwoo often fell for his dark yet sociable and outgoing nature.
Women liked Siwoo as well, but they never approached him in a romantic way. Shin’s past partners liked Siwoo, but they also admitted that they felt threatened by him as well. Shin always thought this was strange.
Shin replied, “He is thin.”
“Oh, I like chubby men.”
“I don’t think your taste matters here.”
“Oh my, are you getting jealous?”
“Yes.”
Siwoo stared at Shin as he shook his glass that still had an ice cube in it. Shin took a sip of his beer and continued, “I can’t help it since you are popular among men. Also, I wasn’t gay before.”
“So now, you are?”
“I don’t want to put a name to it. I don’t see the purpose of it. But since the person I like is a man, does that mean I’m gay?”
Siwoo laughed and shook his head. He replied, “The person you like… I don’t think I have ever heard you say anything like that.”
“I guess you are right. It’s my first time really liking someone.”
“This is too good. I should be able to tease you with this stuff for the next 10 years.”
“I don’t care if you do, but let me ask you a question.”
Shin patted Siwoo’s hair and asked, “What I am feeling right now… is this a romantic feeling?”
“What? You still don’t know? Didn’t you say you were ‘dating’ him?”
“All we did was kiss so far. Nothing else.”
“…”
“I just don’t know what we are feeling or thinking. Both him and me.”
Shin pictured Woojin. Shin kissed him, but as the kiss ended, Shin at the time worried if Woojin would hate him for it. Thankfully, when Shin asked if he was ok, Woojin nodded. In fact, Woojin looked… lustful. He looked like he wanted more. Woojin’s white face looked pink with desire. Looking at him, Shin felt his body burning up as well.
Woojin was definitely very sexy. Shin could feel Woojin’s veins pumping with hot blood. They ended up kissing again.
When Woojin covered Shin’s eyes, Shin felt like he was going to die. His heart pounded too fast and too hard, and he couldn’t breathe. Right then, he wanted to have sex with Woojin. But at the same time, he didn’t want it to happen just yet.
Siwoo murmured in disgust, “I can see you are thinking about something dirty. You are going to make me puke.”
“…hmm…”
“Hidden, get this man a cup of ice water. He is acting like a pervert.”
Siwoo crunched on his eyes and looked at Shin with revulsion. Shin started to laugh before hesitantly stating, “I… I think he does like me.”
“Why are you feeling so unsure and insecure?”
“It’s just… it might not end well.”
“Hmm…”
“I’m just afraid.”
“Of what?”
“… Me.”
Shin could feel the strong, almost uncontrollable, need and desire building up. He wanted to get closer to Woojin, get to know him more, do things to him, be with him… It was a scary feeling.
Siwoo explained, “That’s called dating.”
“…”
“There is no difference between dating men and women. Spending time together, talking with each other, and then…”
“… Then what?”
“Then you end up being together all the time. Even when the heat cools down, you are still with that person, like breathing air.”
“…”
“And who cares if he runs away from you? You just beg him to stay with you and hold on to him. Who cares about pride?”
“….”
“And if you are afraid to get hurt, then you will never be able to date anyone for real. So don’t worry about stupid things like that. For now, all you can do is learn how to have sex.”
Shin just stared at Siwoo. Then, he pictured Woojin. For some reason, Shin felt like he had seen Woojin in the past.
The pale lethargic Woojin Choi.
Shin suddenly asked, “Oh, so how do men have sex with each other?”
Siwoo was eating a piece of cheese, but he coughed it out. Watching Siwoo’s face turning bright red, Shin smiled and waited for an answer.