The Exhausting Reality of Novel Transmigration Chapter 100

Chapter 100

Just as Damian explained, the household heads of the three duchies were not allowed to participate in the hunting festival.
It was an old tradition, and at the same time, it was an imperial law.
Since the ‘hunting festival’ was one of the biggest events of the empire, it was also specified in the constitution.
There was a simple reason as to why the dukes were prohibited from participating.
‘Because their skill level’s too high.’
Valentine, Carter and Freesia.
The three families that were originally blessed by God.
The first Valentine, the first Carter and the first Freesia.
Those three were the originators of the great powers of aura, mana and divine power.
The three families were known to all as the center of the empire’s strength.
The bloodlines that were blessed by God had become muddled and diluted as time went by from generation to generation.
But one thing’s for sure.
They were always superior to anyone else.
As the holders of the most powerful lineages, the most capable people were always the dukes.
Therefore, even just allowing any of the dukes to participate in the hunting festival was already ‘unfair’.
If they were to join, then the game would be dominated by monsters when it’s supposed to just be for humans.
‘Shouldn’t all people who hail from the duchies be disqualified from the hunt?’
Many people in this place could be seen warming up, but most of them seemed unable to reach Damian’s level.
That was, except for Leo. Other than him, there seemed to be no other rivals.
You’d think that there was a problem with fairness here.
‘In the first place though, the matter of being ‘fair’ is something that’s up to the Imperial Family and the laws they’ve written down.’
In any case, there’s just one thing the dukes had to do at the hunting festival.
Once the emperor and the other members of the imperial family would appear at the opening ceremony, the dukes also needed to stand with them.
Right about now, the three dukes should be in the waiting area next to the imperial family’s.
But, as with everything else, it doesn’t always go as expected.
As soon as I imagined Duke Valentine to be sitting in a fancy waiting room elsewhere, he showed himself at the completely wrong place.
And that wrong place was none other than right before my eyes.
“Father!”
Alicia was the first to notice that the duke was here.
At her welcoming call, both Damian and I were shocked to see him there.
When we turned to see where Alicia was looking,
Right there. Duke Valentine had really come.
“Father…”
Damian murmured quietly.
Perhaps because he had spoken unconsciously, but the tone of his voice slightly revealed that he was flustered.
And I was just as surprised as Damian was.
‘Why is he here?’
The hunting festival arc in the original novel was quite long.
However, not once did the duke come to this place in person.
Even after the nanny’s crime of abusing Alicia had already been revealed, and even after Leo had become the new Duke of Carter.
A moment of silence descended upon our surroundings.
The silence between Damian and I earlier couldn’t even compare to how awkward it is right now.
As all four of us became quiet for no reason, the only sounds that could be clearly heard were the people set abuzz around us.
At the sight of all members of House Valentine gathering together, people couldn’t help but glance towards us and talk amongst each other.
Only the duke—the precursor of all this commotion—seemed to remain as calm as he usually was.
He looked at the three of us with a relaxed gaze.
Towards Alicia, who looked very happy. Towards Damian, who looked very taken aback. And then me.
Strangely enough, his gaze seemed to linger longer on me.
As his calm golden eyes stared at me quietly, he then looked down to see the folding fan in my hand.
And like a sinner, I hid that fan.
Only then did the duke’s eyes move away from me.
Eventually, it was Damian who he glanced over again.
“Damian.”
“Yes, Father.”
At the heavy call, a stiff voice replied.
It sounded more like a conversation between an employer and his subordinate rather than a conversation between a father and his child.
The duke raised one hand slowly.
That hand, which paused in the air for a moment, soon settled on Damian’s shoulder, patting him neither lightly nor heavily.
“Good luck.”
It was brief. The rigid encouragement was conveyed with no particular emotion accompanying it.
But oddly enough, it wasn’t really painful to look at.
At least it wasn’t a funny scene.
There was a complicated expression on Damian’s face as he met the duke’s gaze. Seems like he’s thinking the same thing as me.
How could he not be conflicted.
It’s the first time that Alicia and I had come to attend the hunting festival, but that wasn’t the case for Damian.
He had already participated in this festival several times before, but look at him right now. It’s clear that this must be the first time he’s receiving such encouragement.
“…Yes, thank you, Father.”
The belated reply was stiff.
This wasn’t the only out-of-the-blue thing that the duke would do.
After Damian, I guess it was Alicia’s and my turn.
His icy, golden gaze was soon directed at us.
“Both of you should stay near the barracks. Don’t go near the woods.”
The words he uttered contained well-meaning concern, but the tone of his voice sure didn’t.
However, Alicia smiled and nodded, as though she was happy just to hear them.
“Yes, Father.”
She replied in a very lively manner.
I also smiled and nodded.
“Yes, we’ll be careful.”
At this, the duke likewise nodded. Then, he turned his back.
As we watched the duke’s retreating figure moving away, the three of us just stood there, unmoving.
I have no idea what the other two might be thinking, but as for me, I felt extremely uncomfortable.
‘This didn’t happen in the original.’
It wasn’t in the original. Neither was it around the scope of my expectations.
It was with this that I fully understood this fact—that it’s possible for something that’s not in the original plot to happen in actuality.
Unwritten rules seemed to exist in place, but they didn’t always cover everything.
The original was changing every moment.
Right now, the ‘original novel’ was nothing more than a guideline to be wary about just in case.
However, the extent of this sudden change was different. Because it was ‘something that never happened at all’.
‘Is it because of me?’
I urgently traced my memories.
Back when I unintentionally trespassed into the late duchess’ garden.
And the incomprehensible conversation I had with the duke.
To me, it felt like the duke had started acting a little uncharacteristically ever since that day.
‘Then is he really starting to act as a father now?’
Well, I guess there’s nothing bad about that.
Alicia will be very happy.
Damian looks flabbergasted, but it didn’t seem like he disliked it.
In the first place, among the three children, Damian was the one who’s spent the longest time with Duke Valentine.
Perhaps the distorted relationship of this family would improve gradually.
However, this was not possible with me.
‘Rosetta was the very cornerstone of this family’s distorted relationship.’
I tell this to myself every time, but it’s true that I was not the real Rosetta. So, honestly, it didn’t matter to me if I’d melt away in the background.
Wasn’t it my specialty to act the role I was given?
Still, I’ve also told this repeatedly to myself.
That, if it’s about family, then it’s always going to be difficult.
But at the very least, regardless of whether or not the duke will be acting like a parent from here on out, it had little to do with me.
If he’s intent on playing family, then just leave me out of it.
Right, that’s how it is with me.
I stared at the duke’s distant back with an aloof gaze, then I looked away. Upwards.
The sky was blue.
In the first, second, third and fourth transmigrations.
The sky was as blue as ever, even in this world.
Perhaps the sky was blue everywhere.
In the end, no matter what kind of shell I was hiding in, the substance within was always ‘me’.
The same unchanging outsider. So much of an interloper that it’s impossible to remember the original name.
Smiling once more, I reflected on my existence.
Then, someone’s warmth wrapped around my wrist. Very carefully…
I glanced shortly to the side, and my eyes met with a gaze beyond a mask.
They were hidden beneath, but his dark eyes were strangely clear.
He did not dare open his lips to speak and only held my wrist secretly.
Without realizing it, I burst out laughing.
“Why are you laughing, Sister?”
When I burst into laughter, Alicia’s eyes grew wide as she asked me.
And then, the warmth over my wrist quickly receded.
Like a child caught stealing.
While feeling that a peal of laughter was threatening to burst through my lips once more, I shook my head.
“It’s nothing.”
Right. It’s nothing.
After his clumsy way of comforting me, and after receiving his warmth, I soon forgot the sentiments that I had been engulfed with just a moment ago.
I forgot about it.
What a funny thing.
* * *
Meanwhile, after having flustered his three children, the duke was also immersed in his own thoughts alone.
With his slow and dignified steps forward, his heavy gaze looked out ahead of him, at nowhere in particular.
‘I wonder if it was alright.’
From the moment he turned around and away from his children, only such questions arose in his mind.
He was the one who did that, but he couldn’t tell if it was a good thing that he did.
Damian looked so taken aback, while Alicia seemed to be glad.
And Rosetta… He wasn’t sure.
He couldn’t even make a guess.
Whether the smile that she gave her was real or fake.
He couldn’t tell the difference.
‘Was it truly alright to have done that.’
Again, complicated yet simple questions plagued his mind repeatedly.
It would have been nice to have someone next to him who’d tell him the answer, but unfortunately, there was no such person like that in the world.
Lillian was the only one for him in his life.
If he were honest to himself, he did not regret doing that.
It’s true that it might be too late to act like a father and give his children encouragement or express his concern for them.
That’s why he felt like what he did right now was ridiculous and presumptuous.
But even so.
Rather than doing nothing and making excuses like saying it’s too late, he thought that this seemed to be the better choice.
After he met Rosetta in the garden, he started going there every day.
The emptiness, the longing and the fear that consumed him completely every time he went to the garden before—it all vanished.
He still missed his wife and yearned to see her, however, his heart was not so broken and crushed that the world around him remained dark.
However, he could still sometimes hear her voice.
The conversations they had in the past, which he buried due to his fear and longing.
‘Our children…’
‘Damian and Alicia, and Rosetta…’
Most of what Lillian asked for was for the sake of their children.
She laughed and talked about their children, even as she grew thinner day by day.
But he had been too consumed by his grief over Lillian’s illness to listen to her words.
To the love and affection she had for their children.
He forgot all her requests.
‘If Lillian had lived, the children would have grown up knowing nothing but happiness.’
Perhaps Rosetta as well. That child.
There was a hint of bitterness that rose above his golden eyes. He couldn’t stop the abstruse emotion.
It was that child’s biological mother who stole Lillian from him. But ironically enough, it was that same child who brought him a belated enlightenment.
That child’s tears overlapped with Lillian’s, and with the memories elicited that child herself, he recalled the requests that he had forgotten.
It was indescribably abstruse, this emotion.
Walking while wrestling with his complicated thoughts, he eventually reached his destination.
The drawing room that’s been set up next to the imperial family’s.
When he opened the door, he saw another guest who had arrived first.
Duke Valentine wordlessly closed the door and sat down on a sofa.
As he sat down, the casually seated man across from him spoke up.
“What made you arrive a little late, Lord Valentine?”
He spoke relaxedly, but there was a subtle sense of both vigilance and scorn in his tone.
Duke Valentine glanced up and looked at the man. Then, he answered.
“Well, I’d like to ask the same question. What made you arrive a little early, Duke Carter?”
Red and gold eyes met in the air.
Thereafter, the atmosphere turned bitterly sharp.