Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi Chapter 586: High Elf Village

Chapter 586 – High Elf Village
Author: Eguchi Ren
Gumihou: Mitigated a lot of things, including but not limited to: strengthening Mukouda’s spine, reducing GG and Fer’s inclination to give a flying f*ck about normal human interaction etc etc
[1] “Why are we going to a High Elf Village?” grumbled Fer.
“As expected, we should have gotten rid of that person for Master,” Grandpa Gon muttered.
[1] I quickly looked at the High Elf in front of us, but despite those huge ears, it did not look like he heard us. Or, maybe he was pretending not to hear us? Who knows…
“”Aren’t we on a Green Dragon hunt?”” Dora-chan complained.
“”Green Dragon~? Big ear~? Eat~?””
I am so glad that Sui could only speak through telepathy. Who knows what that High Elf, Jorgen, would do if he heard Sui talk about eating him…
“Well,” I said, unwilling to carry the blame for this whole shenanigan. “Who was it that was too busy chomping on Karaage to protest when this suggestion was made?”
“U-umu, Master could have just declined it…”
“Oh? Have you not seen or heard the way that High Elf absolutely ignored everything I said about you guys being my familiars?”
“Kuuhhh–”
Yeah, that’s right. You have no right to talk to me about going along with whatever the High-handed High Elf is saying when you guys were too busy eating!
Not to mention, “One other thing, Grandpa Gon. An island?! How are we on a freaking island!??! I’ve seen the maps, we are landlocked, landlocked! How far out did we travel to reach a freaking island in the sea!?!!”
“Master, I did say that the location was far away,” said Grandpa Gon.
“Grandpa Gon did say that,” said Fer thoughtfully.
“”Isn’t it fine? We’re already here,”” said Dora-chan.
Gununu…
““Not to mention, that High Elf threatened me by saying that they will chase us down no matter where we go, what was I supposed to do?”” I said through telepathy, because I don’t quite dare to say it out loud with that fellow nearby.
“Mu, that certainly sounds troublesome,” said Fer.
“Umu, there is nothing more annoying than having a pest stalking you in a hunt,” said Grandpa Gon.
“Is that so, haha.”
[2] Frankly speaking, I was not exactly worried at the moment because Grandpa Gon could just fly all of us off the island if those High and Mighty High Elves became too annoying. If that elusive Green Dragon happened to be here… well, too bad!!
“…High Elves are especially troublesome,”
“Eh? What?” did I just miss something?
“The trouble with these creatures is that they are long-live beings with a lot of magical power,” muttered Fer. “The longer they live, the more skills they collect.”
“Indeed, they are a warrior tribe who train with all kinds of weapons, making them quite troublesome to deal with.”
“Oho?” I seemed to have heard something useful? After all, with Demiurgos-sama’s Blessing (small), I am now a ‘mostly human’ person who could live up to 1500 years. I could… totally train in swords, spears and other weapons like bows and arrows, right?
Ah, but I can’t imagine being able to reach the level where I could nail a fly’s butt at 100 paces, but I could still learn!
Also, magic! I can already use magic now, but after a hundred years, how much better would I get? I could be an incredible mage in the future!!
“Mwahahahahaha~”
“What is Master doing laughing by himself?”
“Just ignore him, he does that sometimes.”
“”It’s kind of disgusting…””
“”Aruji…””
*cough*
“Ahem, i-it’s nothing, ha ha ha…”
““Regardless, we must do something about that High Elf.””
“”That’s right, if Fer and I work together, we can take that High Elf down quickly and quietly.””
“”Eh? Wait, why are we talking about taking down the High Elf?”” I was horrified. How did the talk come to this?! “”D-don’t tell me you plan to eat him?!”
“”If the entire tribe of High Elves come after us… umu, it would be a difficult fight. More importantly, I cannot guarantee Master’s well-being.””
“”What?!””
“”That is why we must destroy this one here and now.””
“”Wait! Stop! Stop! Stop! Why are we even talking about this?! Just… we can just go with him to his village or whatever. No more talk about destroying him. He hasn’t done anything to us yet, so stop it!!””
There was really no need to talk about murdering sentient beings because our party could totally fly out of the freaking island if shit hits the fan so there! Also, I’m glad no one addressed the fact that I asked them whether they were planning to eat the High Elf.
“We’re here,” said Jorgen.
We had stopped before a thicket of some sort. It looked no different from other bits of the forest, all covered in vines and other greenery.
However, when Jorgen waved his hand, the plants and ivy retreated as if by magic, which… it probably did.
Dora-chan and Sui were suitably impressed, “”Wow~!!””
Haha…
Jorgen went in first, “Welcome to our village.”
Our party trooped in. I was just wondering what a High Elf village looked like when we came face to face with five people, three women and two men. All very beautiful in a fierce noble way with piercing eyes and haughty expressions.
All these proud, stunning faces made me cringe…
“Jorgen, why did you bring a human to this place?” asked one of the proud-looking High Elf women.
“Oh, that’s…”
To my surprise, Jorgen started acting in, shall we say, a slightly shifty way?
Oi, just what is happening?!
Why are you twitching like a frog being glared at by a snake?
“Oi, High Elves, I don’t care what you do. The Fenrir and I are here because our Master wanted us to be here.”
“Umu, you had better not drag our Master into any of your pathetic business.”
Wow, these two actually speaking up. They must have been shaken by my accusation just now.
“But, to allow a human…”
“He is our Master and we are his familiars,” said Fer sternly.
“That’s right,” Grandpa Gon said.
It was great to see these High-strung High Elves look at me with highly startled expressions.
“I had my doubts at first, but it turned out to be true. The Fenrir and Ancient Dragon became this human’s familiar because of food.”
“Food?”
All five of them looked doubtful. However, Jorgen had an ecstatic expression on his face as he said, “That’s right, I demanded to try the food that made a Fenrir and Ancient Dragon lower themselves to a human and… and… it was so delicious! The Cockatrice meat boiled in hot oil has a most fascinating texture and fragrance! Slurrp! I want Adela to try the human’s food! Is that, er, not good?”
Jorgen seemed to shrink at the High Elf woman, presumably Adela’s, gaze.
“You…”
For some reason, instead of becoming angry, this Adela person sighed and gave Jorgen a fond look.
Tch.
Normies.
It did not help when the other High Elves started saying things like:
“Oh my, you can’t believe they have been married for 400 years!”
“Jorgen is such a sweetheart.”
“We won’t lose either.”
“Well, we have been talking about having another child just the other day!”
“Oi, you!”
“… ah? Me?”
Why am I being addressed here? It was bad enough to see Jorgen acting all sweet and mushy. To think that the remaining four male and female High Elves were also couples! Why are there three sets of beautiful couples here? How unfair!!
“The human calls himself Mukouda,” said Jorgen.
“Ah, yes, it’s Mukouda,” I said a little sulkily.
“Please make the Karaage for us, I want my lovely wife to try it.”
Tch.
“Hey, only Adela? That’s cheating! What about us?” one of the male High Elves said.
“Well, we cannot just make the human give us food. We should at least provide the ingredients,” said one of the other female High Elves.
“Agreed, Jorgen said that it’s made with Cockatrice meat boiled in oil, yes? Let us hunt some now.”
“I shall go with you too!” said Jorgen. “Mukouda, please wait for a moment.”
And then they all left.
All six of the High Elves left us just inside of the secret entrance to their village.
What the heck?
“Master, if it is something fried, could you make us some pork cutlet as well?”
“Pork- ah, you want some Tonkatsu, is it? Sure, why not?”
“Tonkatsu and Karaage! Best combo!”
“I guess I’ll prepare the marinade for the Karaage and fry up some Tonkatsu while we wait,” I muttered.
[Gumihou: I played up Mukouda’s prejudice and belligerence against couples and pretty people. Used this fact to make him less pitiful if not pathetic]
[1] While following the high elf Jorgen-san, everyone was complaining to me through telepathy.
Gumihou: I’m sorry, Eguchi-san, but given the type of OP character/characteristics you have given GG and Fer, I highly doubt that they would observe basic decorums like this.
[2] Instead of ‘oh no island’ go with ‘haha, an island’ because, hello? Have you forgotten how you have gotten to this island?