Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future Chapter 32

Chapter 32We spend all day in the cottage in the woods, mostly with no clothes on. While, yes, it intensifies our
physical connection, our emotional connection is beyond anything either of us could have ever
imagined. I can't even imagine how much more intense things will be when I am finally able to mark
her.
It's Saturday evening and we are laying in bed with our bodies intertwined. I'm playing with a lock of her
hair while she nuzzles my neck. “Kas, do you think things will change when you come home or will we
still be this close? Because when you first came here and I had to go home alone, I felt like the world
was going to end. Nothing made me happy. Saint wouldn't even talk to me.
“But last time when I went home, it was like I was completely energized and ready to get back to
normal. I mean, I missed you like crazy, but I had hope in my heart. And now? I feel like I could go
home and could take on the world. Once you're back, I'm going to be unstoppable," I explain as I
continue to play with her hair, running my fingers through her scalp.
“It's just going to keep getting better, Sweetheart. Let's freshen up and get dressed. I'll make you dinner
and explain the things I have been learning about," she assures me with a kiss on my marking spot,
sending shivers down my spine.
"T don't understand why we have to wait to mark our mate. She clearly wants to mark us," Saint huffs.
"Saint, we told Lady Camille we will wait. Our word is our bond," I argue.
"Damn you and your morals," he snarls back before going to the back of my mind.
I let Kas get a shower first, then I take my turn. I'm certain if we get a shower together, dinner would
never happen. When I get to the kitchen, she's almost done chopping vegetables.
“Hi Baby, what's for dinner? Can I help with anything?" I ask, looking over her shoulder. She may have
grown two inches, but she still only comes up to the middle of my chest. I avoid the temptation of
resting my chin on the top of her head but the thought of it makes me smile inside.
“Shepherd's pie. I don't need help but thank you. Just have a seat," she uses the knife to point at a
stool by the counter. I pull the stool next to her and sit down making us about the same height. '
“Sounds delicious, Baby. So, spill. What have you been learning about?" I ask. I put my elbow on the
counter and put my chin in my hand.
Kas tells me how the coven has leveraged her abilities and taught her how to use meditation and past
life regression to help her get in touch with the significant experiences of her spirit's previous lives,good and bad. She's aware of the experiences but she doesn't have an emotional connection to them.
She explains it like remembering scenes froma television show or movie.
The witches believe the more she practices through her life, the more connected she will become to the
memories and they will become important to her. She may even remember it in her next lifetime. She
has learned so much about her past, that it's helping shape who she wants to be moving forward. It has
made her realize that the years she suffered abuse in this life was such a tiny part of her journey as a
whole. It's only important in this lifetime, it would always be something she remembered, but it didn't
define her life or future lives moving forward. °
It all sounds so amazing and I am glad she is getting to know more about herself, but I'm not sure
where that puts me.
"That's great, Baby," I smile and rub her shoulders, but she sees right through me.
“Mmm, nope. Don't hold out on me. What's wrong, Bronx?" she asks with a concerned look as she
drains the fat from the ground beef.
“I don't want to sound insecure or anything," I confide, "but if the things I know you've been through for
years and years is an
insignificant part of your life, I mean, we only met a few months ago. So, like, I don't know. Do I even
exist in this timeline of all things, Kas?”I feel a pang of sadness and guilt in my chest as I slump forward a little. This is supposed to be about
her, not me.
"Oh Bronx," she comes to the stool and stands between my legs, wrapping her arms around my neck,
"Why do you think Lady Camille has been having us spend time alone here in this cottage?”
"T assumed it's because we're mates and she knows it would be detrimental to both of us if she kept us
apart," I put my hands on her tiny waist and shrug, suddenly feeling very unimportant. Not something
I'm used to and call me selfish but I have to say, I don't like it. “Well, yeah, but it's deeper than that,
Sweetheart. The more we're together, the stronger our connection is. Not just by having sex, but
anytime we experience a significant emotional event together. Good ones or bad ones," she looks me
in the eye to see if I understand.
I am really out of my element in this conversation. I understand the physical connection but I get lost
when Kas tries to explain the spirit and emotional stuff.
“What do you mean by our connection? Our mate bond?" I feel my brows knit as I speak. "Yes, our
mate bond is part of that, but it is bigger and deeper than that. It has to do with our individual spirits
needing each other to survive," she explains.
I'm trying but she may as well be speaking Mandarin. I'm trying not to get frustrated but I can't help it.
Patience is not my strong suit. She can see that it doesn't make sense to me. So she goes about it a
different way. She grabs two onions, one white, one red. ’
“This onion is you," she holds up a white onion and hands it to me, " The red one is me.”
“Okay?”
“Now, the onion represents everything about each of us as individuals. Each layer is a part of our spirit,
only one of those layers is our mate bond.”
“What about the rest of the onion?”
“All kinds of things. Attitude, behaviors, how you react to situations, your morals. Things like that," she
explains.
“Alright, keep going.”
She cuts each onion in half. She holds up the halves that don't have roots," This is the part of our lives
that hasn't happened yet. The root side is all your experiences. What happens at the root, effectseverything that hasn't happened yet.”
She hands me a knife and tells me to start chopping the root side of my onion. I chop my onion while
she chops hers. It doesn't take long for my eyes to start watering from the pungent smell.
“Strong smell?" she asks with a giggle.
I sniff the tears back but all I do is manage to breathe in more fumes, "How is this not making you cry?”
“The smell of my onion is not as strong. But watch what happens when I put the two together.”
She proceeds to push her onion pieces toward mine so they are mixed together and minces them even
further.
“You see how the smell changes as the two onions get chopped together?”
“Yeah, I guess so," She's right, the smell of the two onions has changed. Still oniony, but not as sharp.“Now look at the pile. Can you tell exactly which bits are from your onion and which were from mine?”
“Only some of the bits," I confirm I look at the pile of minced onion.
“Exactly. Now, think about that as our life experiences. The more we share with each other, the more
we compliment each other. Not just physically. Cause remember, this pile doesn't represent physical
things.”
“So the more experiences we have together, the more our spirits merge together?”
"Yeah, that's a good way to think about it.” Next she grabs the tops of the onions she had not chopped.
She slices off the tops making thick rings and starts pulling out various rings from each onion. She
stacks white and red rings alternatively inside each other.
“So, the more our past looks like this," she points to the minced pile, The more our future looks like
this.”
She holds up the little Frankenstein sliced onion, smiling proudly.“But more importantly, the future onion isn't just the future for this lifetime," she continues, "It helps
shape the version of who we become in our future lives. Isn't it cool to think that everything we do in
this life will affect our future lives? Oh and a closer connection will make it easier to find each other in
our next lives," there is a twinkle in her eye as she explains our lives and spirits. I understand better but
still shaky on the whole concept. She is speaking like I have past and future lives too but I don't want to
interrupt her as she nerds out, so I just nod, letting her continue. ?
“Tn this life specifically, the closer our connection, the stronger we both become. I'll be more in tune
with my abilities and you'll
have more power and influence since you are an Alpha Regent. That probably explains your surge of
energy when you went home last time. Even Lex and Saint are stronger when they're together, which
makes our human forms that much stronger. That's why I've grown two inches since I've been here.
Lex is coming into her full power and I need to be physically bigger to be able to support her," she says
it like it should have been clear the whole time which makes me chuckle at her. 2 “Well, if what you're
saying is we should spend more time together and experience as many things as possible, I'm all in,
Kas," I pull her closer and give her a little kiss.
"I'm looking forward to it," she smiles then turns back to the food she is preparing.