Novel Name : Against the Gods
Against the Gods Chapter 763 - Tears of a Devil
Chapter 763 - Tears of a Devil
Familial love… Home…
These were things that had long ago vanished from his world and he did not even dare to dream about them any longer…
From the moment he had begun to absorb Ye Mufeng’s devil soul, the only things that were left in his world were pain, ruthlessness, despair and an icy hatred… If an average everyday life was heaven then his life had become complete hell.
And Xiao Lingxi had become the only source of warmth in his entire universe.
She was the only reason he had stayed at Floating Cloud City all this time. As long as he could just catch a glimpse of her once a day, it would bring him endless satisfaction. Iit even made the enormous pain he had to endure while absorbing the devil origin almost bearable. But when it came to drawing closer to her… he had never dared to do so before, because to everyone else, he was terrifying devil god, and it was only in front of Xiao Lingxi that he would feel madly ashamed of the boundless inferiority and timidity that was birthed in his heart.
Because he had long ago stopped regarding himself as a human, and now he only thought of himself as an ugly and repulsive devil; a devil whose soul had been completely stained with filth.
He thirsted for the death of Yun Che… he had originally thought that Xiao Lingxi would not consent to ever see him again after he had left Floating Cloud City that day. He thought she would only be repulsed by him from that day forth, feeling only loathing and hatred for him. During the three months before his duel with Yun Che, he could not control the urge to return to Floating Cloud City so that he could see Xiao Lingxi again. He only gazed at her from afar… because he was afraid that she would find out.
Today, she had not only dragged him back from the borders of death, she had even taken the initiative to recognize him as her brother and become his family, giving him a new home again.
No one knew that her every word and action had such a profound effect on his very soul. It was as if a raging blizzard had blown through his icy world.
He was caught up in a fantasy that he did not dare believe in… but after that Fen Juechen drew back in fright, his body shrinking backwards as he shook his head vigorously, “No, it can’t be… it shouldn’t be like this, you’re definitely… definitely doing this so that I will stop going after Yun Che’s life…”
Xiao Lingxi replied in a very forceful tone, “Big Brother Fen, every single word that I have said, and the vow that I have just made, has come from the bottom of my heart! If… if it was because of Little Che, why would I get Big Brother Under Heaven to bring you back…”
“No, you don’t understand!” Fen Juechen shook his head even more vigorously, his eyes closing shut as his face was filled with pain, “Right now, I’ve become… a devil, a devil who is filled with sin and only lives for vengeance, you can’t understand this… you can’t understand at all!”
“You’re the one who doesn’t understand!!” Xiao Lingxi shouted, “Big Brother Fen, do you still remember how, for the sake of protecting me four years ago, you suffered a broken arm at the hands of your brother Fen Juecheng? Yet you still refused to let go of him… This is something that I, Xiao Lingxi, will remember for the rest of my life. So how can someone like this be a devil!?
“During your time in Floating Cloud City, I always thought that you were constantly suffering. You made yourself cold and cruel, and you even called yourself a devil… But you did all of this for the sake of avenging your family. A true ‘devil’ is someone that is selfish and brutal. How could a true devil give up his own humanity for the sake of his dead relatives and plunge himself into a world of pain!?
“I am afraid of the danger that you pose to Little Che… but what I am even more sure of is that from start to finish, you have been blameless and you have only ever been a victim this entire time. At the very least, you are definitely not the villain that you make yourself out to be…”
“No… do not speak any further.” Xiao Lingxi’s words did not put him at ease, on the contrary, his expression grew even more tortured as he clutched both hands to his head, “You don’t understand, you really don’t understand… I really have become a devil…
“I don’t have the right to be treated this way by you!”
“Whether you possess the qualifications or not is not something that Big Brother Fen can say.” Xiao Lingxi replied in a soft voice as she shook her head, “For me, the word ‘family’ is sacred. In my entire life, the only family I have ever had was Father, Little Che and the newly-returned Xiao Yun. I have never ever once thought of calling someone who was unrelated to me by blood family. But Big Brother Fen isn’t the same… When the Divine Phoenix Army descended on our Floating Cloud City, it was Big Brother Fen who protected us and protected the home where Little Che and I grew up in. So to me, Big Brother Fen is not only a good person and my benefactor, he is also a true hero!”
Fen Juechen, “.....”
“So, I will always respect and feel a sense of intimacy with Big Brother Fen. If Big Brother Fen is willing to become my elder brother, then we can rely on one another, and protect our family together. To me, that will be a most fortunate event that will bring incomparable joy to my heart. If Big Brother Fen rejects me, I will definitely be very sad and despondent.”
Fen Juechen’s body trembled as it froze in place. He stood there, stock still, his eyes glazed over, as if he had become a statue.
“But it seems like Big Brother Fen does not want to be part of my family.” Xiao Lingxi raised her head and looked at him, her eyes clouded by sadness and loss.
“I… I…” Under her unrelenting gaze, the man, who had caused a Divine Phoenix Army that was two hundred thousand strong to tremble in fear and had filled Yun Che with a profound dread, was all of a sudden at a loss for words as he was completely flustered.
“Anyways…” Xiao Lingxi said as she laughed once more. Her blossoming smile caused the world in front of Fen Juechen to explode in light, “I have said all I have wanted to say, and I’ve even sworn such a venomous curse. So I don’t care if Big Brother Fen is unwilling to accept this little sister of yours, because he will always be an elder brother to me from now on! From now on the Xiao Clan will always be Big Brother Fen’s home, and this room will always be yours as well. When Big Brother Fen is at home, I will take care of Big Brother Fen as if he were my own elder brother, and I’ll share both the good and the bad with Big Brother Fen from now on!”
“However, if Big Brother Fen does something wrong, as your younger sister, I will not hesitate to criticize and correct you!!”
Without waiting for Fen Juechen’s reply, Xiao Lingxi stood up, a pretty and coquettish smile appearing on her face, “It’s decided then! Big Brother Fen is badly wounded right now, so no matter what, you can’t resist me! So…”
“Give me a moment, I’ll be back straight away!”
Xiao Lingxi finished her little monologue and immediately scampered away… but before long, she pushed open the doors yet again and she carried a set of clean gray-white clothes in her hands.
“Big Brother Fen, all of the clothes that you were wearing are tattered and torn, and they’re really stinky too. Put on some clean clothes first. Big Brother Fen isn’t used to relying on other people and it looks like you’ve already recovered quite a bit of strength, so you can definitely wear these clothes by yourself. I won’t ask Big Brother Under Heaven to come and help.” She said as she smiled merrily, gently placing the clothes into Fen Juechen’s hands, “Right, these are Little Che’s old clothes, so they should fit rather well.”
When Fen Juechen, whose heart was numbed by his internal turmoil, heard the two words “Yun Che”, a violent emotion instinctively stirred in his heart, “Yun… Che!?”
“Yes!” Xiao Lingxi paid no attention at all to the irregularity in Fen Juechen’s voice and aura and she still smiled sweetly as she replied, “These are the clothes he left behind before he left the last time, and I just laundered them not too long ago. I know that Big Brother Fen truly hates Little Che, but the clothes didn’t do anything wrong. A mighty person like Big Brother Fen definitely shouldn’t be so petty that he won’t even let a set of clothes off… I’ll go and boil up a new batch of medicine, so Big Brother Fen needs to be good and wear these clothes. I’ll be back once the medicine has finished boiling.”
Xiao Lingxi gave a gentle smile as she turned around to leave, closing the door behind her.
The world had suddenly fallen into a dead silence, and Fen Juechen felt his heart beating in his chest with such clear intensity.
He sat there blankly for a very long time, before finally stretching out a hand towards the clothes beside him.
The clothes were folded in a neat and tidy manner, they were completely clean and one could still smell a faint fragrance emanating from them.
These were the clothes of the person he hated the most, Yun Che, and he hated him so much that he hated everything associated with him… he should have been completely repulsed by them, tearing these clothes into shreds and going into a simmering rage. But… at this moment, his heart was bereft of any rage or killing intent when he held them in his hands. Even the act of picking up the clothes was subconsciously done in a careful and gentle manner.
…………
“With the heavens as my witness, I, Xiao Lingxi, take Big Brother Fen as my elder brother... from now on, I am part of Big Brother Fen’s family and my home has also become Big Brother Fen’s family…
“You’re the one who doesn’t understand… I am afraid of the danger that you pose to Little Che… but what I am even more sure of is that from start to finish, you have been blameless throughout, and you have only ever been a victim the entire time. At the very least, you are definitely not the villain that you make yourself out to be…
“...So to me, Big Brother Fen is not only a good person and my benefactor, he is also a true hero!”
“If Big Brother Fen is willing to become my elder brother… To me, that would be the happiest and most fortunate thing…”
“I don’t care if Big Brother Fen is unwilling to accept this little sister of yours, because he will always be an elder brother to me from now on! From now on the Xiao Clan will always be Big Brother Fen’s home…”
…………
Xiao Lingxi’s voice, her every word, and her every action, resounded in his heart again and again as it rippled across every corner of his soul.
Drip...
The soft sound of dripping water was exceedingly clear in this quiet space. Fen Juechen dazedly hung his head… and a damp moistness began to silently spread to the corners of the gray clothes in his hands.
Te… ars…
He extended a trembling finger and touched his face… his fingertips coming into contact with a long trail of wetness…
Tears...
I had clearly already become a devil that had erased all traces of his humanity and emotion, a devil that was only left with sin and vengeance…
Why… do I still have tears…
His fingers were trembling, but his soul was shuddering with even more ferocity. He did not recognize the emotion that filled his soul right now. The only thing that he was aware of were the tears dripping uncontrollably down his face. He could not stop them…
So it turns out that I… could still be… “human”, huh…
————————————————
alyschu: Yes, some of the “flashbacks” from the last chapter were reworded for some reason known only to the author...
This Chapter's Teaser
Familial love… Home…
These were things that had long ago vanished from his world and he did not even dare to dream about them any longer…
From the moment he had begun to absorb Ye Mufeng’s devil soul, the only things that were left in his world were pain, ruthlessness, despair and an icy hatred… If an average everyday life was heaven then his life had become complete hell.
And Xiao Lingxi had become the only source of warmth in his entire universe.
She was the only reason he had stayed at Floating Cloud City all this time. As long as he could just catch a glimpse of her once a day, it would bring him endless satisfaction. Iit even made the enormous pain he had to endure while absorbing the devil origin almost bearable. But when it came to drawing closer to her… he had never dared to do so before, because to everyone else, he was terrifying devil god, and it was only in front of Xiao Lingxi that he would feel madly ashamed of the boundless inferiority and timidity that was birthed in his heart.
Because he had long ago stopped regarding himself as a human, and now he only thought of himself as an ugly and repulsive devil; a devil whose soul had been completely stained with filth.
He thirsted for the death of Yun Che… he had originally thought that Xiao Lingxi would not consent to ever see him again after he had left Floating Cloud City that day. He thought she would only be repulsed by him from that day forth, feeling only loathing and hatred for him. During the three months before his duel with Yun Che, he could not control the urge to return to Floating Cloud City so that he could see Xiao Lingxi again. He only gazed at her from afar… because he was afraid that she would find out.
Today, she had not only dragged him back from the borders of death, she had even taken the initiative to recognize him as her brother and become his family, giving him a new home again.
No one knew that her every word and action had such a profound effect on his very soul. It was as if a raging blizzard had blown through his icy world.
He was caught up in a fantasy that he did not dare believe in… but after that Fen Juechen drew back in fright, his body shrinking backwards as he shook his head vigorously, “No, it can’t be… it shouldn’t be like this, you’re definitely… definitely doing this so that I will stop going after Yun Che’s life…”
Xiao Lingxi replied in a very forceful tone, “Big Brother Fen, every single word that I have said, and the vow that I have just made, has come from the bottom of my heart! If… if it was because of Little Che, why would I get Big Brother Under Heaven to bring you back…”
“No, you don’t understand!” Fen Juechen shook his head even more vigorously, his eyes closing shut as his face was filled with pain, “Right now, I’ve become… a devil, a devil who is filled with sin and only lives for vengeance, you can’t understand this… you can’t understand at all!”
“You’re the one who doesn’t understand!!” Xiao Lingxi shouted, “Big Brother Fen, do you still remember how, for the sake of protecting me four years ago, you suffered a broken arm at the hands of your brother Fen Juecheng? Yet you still refused to let go of him… This is something that I, Xiao Lingxi, will remember for the rest of my life. So how can someone like this be a devil!?
“During your time in Floating Cloud City, I always thought that you were constantly suffering. You made yourself cold and cruel, and you even called yourself a devil… But you did all of this for the sake of avenging your family. A true ‘devil’ is someone that is selfish and brutal. How could a true devil give up his own humanity for the sake of his dead relatives and plunge himself into a world of pain!?
“I am afraid of the danger that you pose to Little Che… but what I am even more sure of is that from start to finish, you have been blameless and you have only ever been a victim this entire time. At the very least, you are definitely not the villain that you make yourself out to be…”
“No… do not speak any further.” Xiao Lingxi’s words did not put him at ease, on the contrary, his expression grew even more tortured as he clutched both hands to his head, “You don’t understand, you really don’t understand… I really have become a devil…
“I don’t have the right to be treated this way by you!”
“Whether you possess the qualifications or not is not something that Big Brother Fen can say.” Xiao Lingxi replied in a soft voice as she shook her head, “For me, the word ‘family’ is sacred. In my entire life, the only family I have ever had was Father, Little Che and the newly-returned Xiao Yun. I have never ever once thought of calling someone who was unrelated to me by blood family. But Big Brother Fen isn’t the same… When the Divine Phoenix Army descended on our Floating Cloud City, it was Big Brother Fen who protected us and protected the home where Little Che and I grew up in. So to me, Big Brother Fen is not only a good person and my benefactor, he is also a true hero!”
Fen Juechen, “.....”
“So, I will always respect and feel a sense of intimacy with Big Brother Fen. If Big Brother Fen is willing to become my elder brother, then we can rely on one another, and protect our family together. To me, that will be a most fortunate event that will bring incomparable joy to my heart. If Big Brother Fen rejects me, I will definitely be very sad and despondent.”
Fen Juechen’s body trembled as it froze in place. He stood there, stock still, his eyes glazed over, as if he had become a statue.
“But it seems like Big Brother Fen does not want to be part of my family.” Xiao Lingxi raised her head and looked at him, her eyes clouded by sadness and loss.
“I… I…” Under her unrelenting gaze, the man, who had caused a Divine Phoenix Army that was two hundred thousand strong to tremble in fear and had filled Yun Che with a profound dread, was all of a sudden at a loss for words as he was completely flustered.
“Anyways…” Xiao Lingxi said as she laughed once more. Her blossoming smile caused the world in front of Fen Juechen to explode in light, “I have said all I have wanted to say, and I’ve even sworn such a venomous curse. So I don’t care if Big Brother Fen is unwilling to accept this little sister of yours, because he will always be an elder brother to me from now on! From now on the Xiao Clan will always be Big Brother Fen’s home, and this room will always be yours as well. When Big Brother Fen is at home, I will take care of Big Brother Fen as if he were my own elder brother, and I’ll share both the good and the bad with Big Brother Fen from now on!”
“However, if Big Brother Fen does something wrong, as your younger sister, I will not hesitate to criticize and correct you!!”
Without waiting for Fen Juechen’s reply, Xiao Lingxi stood up, a pretty and coquettish smile appearing on her face, “It’s decided then! Big Brother Fen is badly wounded right now, so no matter what, you can’t resist me! So…”
“Give me a moment, I’ll be back straight away!”
Xiao Lingxi finished her little monologue and immediately scampered away… but before long, she pushed open the doors yet again and she carried a set of clean gray-white clothes in her hands.
“Big Brother Fen, all of the clothes that you were wearing are tattered and torn, and they’re really stinky too. Put on some clean clothes first. Big Brother Fen isn’t used to relying on other people and it looks like you’ve already recovered quite a bit of strength, so you can definitely wear these clothes by yourself. I won’t ask Big Brother Under Heaven to come and help.” She said as she smiled merrily, gently placing the clothes into Fen Juechen’s hands, “Right, these are Little Che’s old clothes, so they should fit rather well.”
When Fen Juechen, whose heart was numbed by his internal turmoil, heard the two words “Yun Che”, a violent emotion instinctively stirred in his heart, “Yun… Che!?”
“Yes!” Xiao Lingxi paid no attention at all to the irregularity in Fen Juechen’s voice and aura and she still smiled sweetly as she replied, “These are the clothes he left behind before he left the last time, and I just laundered them not too long ago. I know that Big Brother Fen truly hates Little Che, but the clothes didn’t do anything wrong. A mighty person like Big Brother Fen definitely shouldn’t be so petty that he won’t even let a set of clothes off… I’ll go and boil up a new batch of medicine, so Big Brother Fen needs to be good and wear these clothes. I’ll be back once the medicine has finished boiling.”
Xiao Lingxi gave a gentle smile as she turned around to leave, closing the door behind her.
The world had suddenly fallen into a dead silence, and Fen Juechen felt his heart beating in his chest with such clear intensity.
He sat there blankly for a very long time, before finally stretching out a hand towards the clothes beside him.
The clothes were folded in a neat and tidy manner, they were completely clean and one could still smell a faint fragrance emanating from them.
These were the clothes of the person he hated the most, Yun Che, and he hated him so much that he hated everything associated with him… he should have been completely repulsed by them, tearing these clothes into shreds and going into a simmering rage. But… at this moment, his heart was bereft of any rage or killing intent when he held them in his hands. Even the act of picking up the clothes was subconsciously done in a careful and gentle manner.
…………
“With the heavens as my witness, I, Xiao Lingxi, take Big Brother Fen as my elder brother... from now on, I am part of Big Brother Fen’s family and my home has also become Big Brother Fen’s family…
“You’re the one who doesn’t understand… I am afraid of the danger that you pose to Little Che… but what I am even more sure of is that from start to finish, you have been blameless throughout, and you have only ever been a victim the entire time. At the very least, you are definitely not the villain that you make yourself out to be…
“...So to me, Big Brother Fen is not only a good person and my benefactor, he is also a true hero!”
“If Big Brother Fen is willing to become my elder brother… To me, that would be the happiest and most fortunate thing…”
“I don’t care if Big Brother Fen is unwilling to accept this little sister of yours, because he will always be an elder brother to me from now on! From now on the Xiao Clan will always be Big Brother Fen’s home…”
…………
Xiao Lingxi’s voice, her every word, and her every action, resounded in his heart again and again as it rippled across every corner of his soul.
Drip...
The soft sound of dripping water was exceedingly clear in this quiet space. Fen Juechen dazedly hung his head… and a damp moistness began to silently spread to the corners of the gray clothes in his hands.
Te… ars…
He extended a trembling finger and touched his face… his fingertips coming into contact with a long trail of wetness…
Tears...
I had clearly already become a devil that had erased all traces of his humanity and emotion, a devil that was only left with sin and vengeance…
Why… do I still have tears…
His fingers were trembling, but his soul was shuddering with even more ferocity. He did not recognize the emotion that filled his soul right now. The only thing that he was aware of were the tears dripping uncontrollably down his face. He could not stop them…
So it turns out that I… could still be… “human”, huh…
————————————————
alyschu: Yes, some of the “flashbacks” from the last chapter were reworded for some reason known only to the author...
This Chapter's Teaser
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