Heart of Darkness Chapter 151 - 118

Rayven went back to his chamber where he knew Angelica waited. What had he been thinking? They were mated now for God's sake, but unfortunately, the mating didn't take away his selfishness.
It was enough now. He had to stop. Not only would he make Angelica tired, but he was getting tired too. He was going to let himself enjoy this blessing even in his selfishness. Even if he didn't deserve it right now.
Walking into the room, he found Angelica seated next to the fire with a book in her hand. As soon as he walked in she looked his way, her eyes softening with relief when she found no scars on his face. He went to sit beside her on the mattress that she lay there.
"I am sorry," He said, gazing into her eyes.
She nodded. "It is alright," she smiled. Then she watched him as if waiting for him to say something more. Explain himself or tell her what was going on.
Rayven took a deep breath and then told her everything. How he had been feeling all this time. The battle between his pride and guilt. The wanting of attention but also feeling he didn't deserve it. The strange feeling of envy, of wanting to be that person for her, that Skender managed to be.
Angelica's eyebrows slowly turned into a frown as she listened to him, telling the story that brought him shame. When he finished he met her gaze that he had been avoiding. They were filled with emotions that he couldn't interpret. It made him nervous. What was she thinking about him? She probably thought he was mad, pitiful, ridiculous.
"Rayven," She began but seemed like she was at a loss of words. Of course. What possibly could she say to this madness. "Right now I don't know what to do. I want to hug you and protect you from all of this. I want to take away your pain and this self-doubt but there is also a part of me that wants to scold you. To show you what you can't seem to see."
"I know," he said looking down.
"I did not mean to neglect you."
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"No," she shook his head feeling worse.
"I was only paying more attention to him because he was in a critical condition."
"I know. I know. It is not you. The problem is me. I am not blaming you." God, he sounded like a child. "I am grateful you took care of him."
She looked at him for a long moment. "Rayven. I don't have many expectations. I have always only wished for two things in a man. That he treats me right, as his equal and loves my brother. That is all. With you, I got even more and I don't want anything else. My only wish right now is for you to be happy because I am happy with you. Not with anyone else and I don't wish either."
"I am making you unhappy right now."
"It is only because you look unhappy." She cupped his cheek and he put his hand on top of hers. "Your happiness is mine."
Taking her hand away from his cheek, he kissed her knuckles. "Oh, Angel in sight. You are the moon in my night. You have shown me the way. You are the blessings in my day. You are my summer and my spring. You are my all, my everything."
Angelica gazed at him with tears in her eyes. Her hold on his hand tightened. "Rayven…"
He leaned in taking her lips with his, finding his peace. Feeling like everything would be alright as long as this woman was by his side. Feeling as though the world faded away, and his heart melted with feelings he could not convey.
And so the moon fell, and the sun rose. With the woman, he loved sleeping in his arms. He turned around so he could watch her sleep for a while. Today he would make her smile. He would take her out and they would ride. Up and down hills, through the woods, and near the river. He would take her anywhere she liked.
Rayven caressed her soft cheek, then touched her soft fiery hair. Today he would tell her, even if it was too soon and even if he had told her and showed her in other ways, he wanted to say the words so he could utter them a thousand times after. He would tell her, he loved her.
He was bound to her by vows and by blood. Now he wanted to be bound to her by love. Leaning in, he placed a kiss on her forehead before leaving the bed.
As he got dressed, he planned the day in his head. First, he would go to work, then he would meet Lucrezia, and then finally he would come back home to his wife.
Feeling calmer, he left for the castle but as he neared the meeting room he became somewhat nervous. Hopefully, everything was fine and Skender would be there.
"Rayven!" Blayze came walking from the other side of the hall. "You smell terrible." He said.
"Are you jealous?"
He chuckled. "Don't worry. Human females are too fragile for me."
Rayven smirked to himself. If he only knew. Angelica was nothing close to fragile. While they all saw death as the answer to their problems, she had climbed a hill and arrived at the horror of his home to survive.
"I pray you find your mate in a fragile human," Rayven said.
The demon frowned. "That is not prayer. You are cursing me." He looked behind him. "Oh look who is here."
Rayven turned around and found Mazzonn behind him. He didn't care to greet them. He just walked right between them and into the meeting room. Well, another walking corpse it seemed.?Rayven followed him inside and Blayze trailed behind.
The rest had already arrived at the meeting. They got seated and waited for Skender to arrive while Lazarus and Blayze spoke about the party they joined last night.
"How was your vacation?" Acheron asked Mazzonn.
Mazzonn shrugged. "As usual. How is your drinking problem?"
Acheron shrugged. "As usual."
Rayven frowned. Were they always like this? Only some of them were comfortable talking to each other. Blayze, Acheron, Lazarus, and Skender were the ones to feel free to talk, while Mazzon, Vitale and he had been the quiet ones.
The guards announced Skender's arrival as the door opened and he entered. Rayven watched him intently as he went to his seat and sat down with a sigh. He was nicely dressed, from his wet hair and the smell of soap he had bathed and when he gazed up his eyes looked normal to him.
Alright. Things were good so far.
Skender looked like his usual self that hated these meetings. Usually, because most of them didn't perform their duties and the fights mostly?broke out in this room.
He sighed, his mouth contorting with what seemed boredom. Then he leaned back, his eyes narrowing and surveying all of them, lingering a little longer on Mazzonn. His finger began to knock on the table, making it feel like an important time was passing by. Creating a sense of urgency in the room.
"I have been thinking," he began and his finger stopped knocking on the table. "I need to set some new rules."
He spoke as if he was tired. Maybe he was.
"Rules that have consequences if they are broken."
Now he had everyone's attention.
"First one is simple. I am glad all of you arrived early to the meeting but that is not always the case. I want you to attend every meeting and on time." His voice became stronger.
"Not only that, I need you to report your duties accordingly. If you can't attend a meeting or a job for some reason, you need to report it in good time and get permission for absence. And of course, the time of absence will affect your wages but also your position. If you can't attend to your duties as a lord because of too much absence, you will have to step down from your position. It will be given to someone more competent."
Blayze scoffed. "It seems like you are finding ways to punish us after we received many punishments in your place."
Skender's turned to him. His gaze unwavering, his expression remaining the same. "You, none of you have ever received a punishment for me. I receive my punishments and you receive yours. Am I wrong, Vitale?"
The white-haired demon looked up and his gaze went straight to Blayze. "He is punished for failing to lead us because we fail to perform our duties and rebel against him. One can't function without the other so everyone is punished according to their mistakes." He explained calmly then went back to look like he wasn't with them in the room.
"So I will be doing my duties from now on. If you ignore my rules, it will make me fail as a leader and so you will be punished." Skender said nonchalant.
Rayven wasn't surprised. Lucrezia wouldn't come up with punishments that led to nowhere. She knew what she was doing. Every step was intentional. This made him feel a little at ease. She must know what she was doing with Skender.
"Do you have any questions or complaints?" Skender asked.
All of them remained quiet noticing the change in him. Rayven didn't find the change to be bad. If it was only this, then it was good.
"Well then, I have been absent for a long time. I have a lot of things to do." He said standing up. "In my absence, Vitale will take over and if he also happened to be absent for some reason then," his gaze shifted Acheron. "Ash will be in charge."
Acheron looked up surprised. "Me? Why?"
"I don't decide that. It is our sins." He explained and then walked away.
Blayze sighed. "He has lost his mind. After finding out that he is a defender he must think highly of himself."
"He is doing his job as a leader. If you can't put your pride aside, it is your problem." Rayven said. How ironic of him to say such a thing. He stood up, "also, he has always known that he was a defender."
Before he could get into an argument with the hothead, he left the table and went to go after Skender.
"Skender." He walked faster to catch up.
Skender stopped and turned around to face him. He had that same bored look. "Yes."
Rayven swallowed whatever uncomfortable feeling that rose to his throat. "Things haven't been good between us. I know what I did was… terrible and I apolo…"
Before he could finish his sentence, grabbing him by the neck, Skender crushed his head and back into the wall. Rayven froze in shock before he felt Skender's claws pierce into his neck. He leaned closer, bringing his mouth next to his ear.
"Too late, Rayven. And speaking of being late, I was late to save the woman I loved. But now you can rest in the arms of the woman you love, knowing I saved her."
He released him and Rayven just brought his hand up to the wounds on his neck, still shocked.
"One more thing, don't worry about me being interested in your woman because I somehow think she is Ramona. Ah, it saddens me after I gave you my blessings."
He shook his head at him and then walked away.
Rayven watched his leave, completely confused by what just happened.. That was not the Skender he knew.