Heart of Darkness Chapter 149 - 116

Skender didn't know where he was going. He just kept walking down the hill and then through the woods and continued further. The moon followed him above and the soft night breeze caressed him on his way to nowhere.
Words from the past echoed in his mind. Words Ramona had said to him. And he heard her laughter as well.
'Skender, I have met no better man than you.'
'Your happiness is my happiness.'
She had taken his hand, 'I believe in you.' she had told him.
Believed in him?
He remembered all the times, she had grabbed his face gently between her hands. All the times she had comforted him and all the times she had made him laugh. He tried to find lies in all of it. Tried to see it from different angles but it all looked the same to him.
She loved him. He had interpreted her reluctance to be with him as fear of the visions she had. That they couldn't be together because of the danger chasing her. That something bad would happen to her and she didn't want him to be sad.
He laughed cynically. How wrong he had been. She didn't love him. And he had blamed himself all this time, thinking that her fear had come true and he hadn't been able to do anything about it. That she was right at the end. How pained he had been but then how stupid he had been.
In the end, while he was sad about their separation she had been in the arms of another man. His heart tightened, knocking the air out from his lungs. He stopped walking, grabbing his chest and sucking in a pained breath. He felt another sharp stab and gasped. What was happening to him?
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He took a deep breath, shocked at the pain, and then went and sat down on a large stone.
'Skender.' Her voice echoed in his mind.
"Stop!" he no longer wanted to think of her. She didn't belong in his mind or heart. He wished she was in some part that he could just tear out and throw away.
How foolish and naive, to think that people had good intentions. It was his fault for being stabbed in the heart. He was paying for it and making the same mistakes again. He was hurt, again.
Skender didn't expect Rayven to sacrifice his wife to save him but he had at least thought that he would care to tell him the truth. Warn him about the consequances before accepting his help and showing a bit of concern. Clearly, his life was not worth any of it.
Marie was right about everything. Even about Lucrezia. Why didn't she tell him? Why was he clueless about all of this?
He clenched his fists, his emotions shifting back and forth between pain, sadness, anger, disappointment, and hatred. Hot tears streamed down his face, getting hotter because of his burning face. His jaw was tense and trembling slightly from wanting to hold back the tears.
He would not cry!
Oh god! What was this pain?
He stood up and took himself home. He sat on his bed, still affected by the pain. It wasn't only emotional. He felt physical pain as if some sharp object was moving in his heart.
"Skender." Lucrezia was suddenly in the room with him.
"Go away!" He said without looking up at her.
She didn't leave but stood there in silence.
He looked up and she stared at him with eyes void of emotions. "Are you enjoying this?" He spoke with a strained voice.
"Why would I enjoy your pain?"
"Why would you not? You could have stopped all of this which makes me think you wanted it to happen." He came to his senses now. "What exactly is your goal, Lucrezia?"
"To redeem you."
"Besides that!" He spoke between clenched teeth. "What are you gaining from redeeming us?"
She was quiet for a moment, her eyes narrowing displaying emotions which was unusual. "You." She said.
Him? Or them?
"Both."
"What do you mean?" He was confused.
"I can only tell once you are all redeemed."
He chuckled darkly. "Of course. Secrets. Just like you can only tell me now that I will become a destroyer."
"Not necessarily. Not forever. With my help, you can become whatever you want."
He shook his head, tired of listening to her and believing her words. "Why didn't you tell me about the destroyer?"
She sighed. "Skender. When I found you, you looked so desperate, so defeated and so sorrowful but you were hopeful. Would you remain that way and still ask me to help you if I told you then that you would become a destroyer?"
"Alright. Fair enough. But why did you let this happen?"
"You are stronger now. You can handle it."
"You believe so?"
"I know for sure."
"Then you must know why I will become a destroyer?"
This time her gaze lowered before she looked up at him again as if she didn't want to answer his question. He was already expecting the worst.
"You were cursed." She said.
Cursed? He laughed out loud.
"That I know. Tell me something else."
Her expression remained serious. "Your father was in love with a witch but left her to be with your mother in order to keep the defender line pure and strong. The witch wasn't happy about it and cursed him with a child that would become a destroyer if he ever planned to become a defender." She paused and Skender frowned, his mind unable to keep up.
"Your parents found another witch. They tried to lift the curse but that is much harder than casting a spell. So instead they put your demon to sleep and tried to keep you away from anything that could awaken it. Instead of letting you become a destroyer, they let you become a sloth."
Sloth. He had done none of his duties. He had been living ideally without any effort to achieve something meaningful. Life had only looked bright and easy so he had taken his time to take action. That was if he did take any action. He was only taught to react. He couldn't remember his parents encouraging him to do something. He thought they were only spoiling him but they were fearful. So much that they would rather let him become this way.
Skender understood that it was their duty to protect. That they couldn't have a destroyer free that they would later have to kill with their own hands. He tried to understand them but it still hurt that he was kept in the shadows.
His head began to spin.
"Skender?" Lucrezia's voice sounded strange and distant while the throbbing of his heart became louder. It was as if it was beating in his head.
His world had suddenly turned upside down. All that he had known had been lies.
Secrets were kept.
Trust was lost.
Reality was shattered.
Hearts were broken.
By words unspoken.
Truths became illusions.
Lies and confusion.
He was cruel fated
A soul, sedated